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The Odds (Part 1)

Updated on May 9, 2011

Why Pay? When You Can Take?

"This is your fault.."

That's the last thing I remember before my eyes open each morning. It's about the only thing I remember, it's been the same dream for awhile now and as I lay here in bed I wonder when it'll end. I close my eyes and try to focus on my breathing. In, out, in, out. It takes my mind away from the dream, allows me to focus on the present. I take one more long deep breath before I sit up and open my eyes. I look around my room and theres not much to see, there's my bed, a dresser and oh yeah me. Pretty empty little room but moving into a cheep little apartment with two roommates kinda leaves no room for personal stuff. Still, as I sit there on my bed I think to myself,

It's better then where you were at before.

Which in away is true, sure back with my "family" I had money and a nice place to live but hell, spending one more minute with them I would of seriously lost my mind. So, the day I turned eighteen I packed up and left, moved out to this apartment in California.

I sit there with my head in my hands, and in the back of my mind I hear the whisper of her voice

"This is your fault.."

I know what she means, after all it is my fault I dug this grave for myself, and it runs deep down into the earth. I didn't set out to hurt anyone or get hurt myself, I tried to make the best out of everything that happened but I'm only human. After what happened.. How could I face them again? Any of them.. so I ran, I cut contact from them all and buried myself in self loathing and hatred. I felt like I owed them something. A debt that I could never repay, after all it's my fault he's dead.

Let me tell you my story, and hopefully you'll understand. I'm not asking for forgiveness, I'm not asking for your sympathy, no I'm asking that you just understand.

Turn the clock back two years. Sixteen and thought I was on top of the world. Ryan, one of my oldest friends and one of the best. God the trouble me and that kid used to get into, we just didn't know when to stop. Back then we thought that if you can get away with something once, why not twice? Three times? God we were stupid. We started lifting cars and selling them to a local chop shop. It paid good enough money and when your a poor kid growing up in a bad neighborhood, on the wrong side of town, you need money.

It was alright at first, stealing old beaters and getting maybe a couple hundred for them hell it was easy money and kept the drugs coming. It wasn't till we got cocky that everything started to go down hill. We started moving up, wanting more and more money for newer and newer cars. We we're just stupid teenagers! We thought nothing could touch us, God were we wrong.

"This is your fault.."

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    • Instigator profile image
      Author

      Instigator 6 years ago from Logan, UT

      Second parts up!! GO READ IT!! haha

    • profile image

      GuessWho;) 6 years ago

      When do I get to read part2?

      You're leaving us hangin here. Tell me more!!!

    • Instigator profile image
      Author

      Instigator 7 years ago from Logan, UT

      Good holy shit?

      or bad holy shit? haha

    • ConspireToInspire profile image

      ConspireToInspire 7 years ago

      Holy shit...

    working

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