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Top 10 10 Funny Sarcastic Quotes

Updated on April 10, 2012

"Sarcasm!! Because beating the sh*t out of people is illegal."

Sarcasm - witty language used to convey insults or scorn; "he used sarcasm to upset his opponent"; "irony is wasted on the stupid"; "Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own"--Jonathan Swift

My Love Affair With Sarcasm

We all had our down times.. Different levels and intensities.. But despite all the variables we need certain something to get us out of the rubble. Mine was learning to laugh it out and find humor with all of it. Of course learning valuable lessons.

Learning to laugh about your mistakes and misadventure has given me the strength to withstand falls and get up gracefully armed with twinkling eyes and my trademark smirk that tells the whole world that i had fun rolling on the mud and everyone should try it. A good exercise of good mental tenacity.

I do not think i belong to the stereotype of women who nagged and scream when in distress. I like keeping everything in and battle it out with my make believe alter ego. I think everyone should have one, might lessen world war and crime rates! ;)

Had to find an outlet to get all those angst out.. Sarcasm was my weapon to battle the windmills within. And direct some deserving punches to people i thought deserves them without them knowing what they are. Its like hitting a target with imaginary bullets. You get to maimed the opponents without them knowing that they got hit and how fatal it is (well in my mind it was ha ha ha)

Throughout the years i have collected an arsenal. These are some of the few.

.............

"To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential"

"Before we work on artificial intelligence why don't we do something about natural stupidity?"

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"Two things we are thankful for: 1: Family and friends. 2: Caller ID, so we can avoid our family and friends!!"

"Raisins cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies is one of the reasons why I have trust issues

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"Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention morons."

Be happy in front of people who don't like you, it KILLS them

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"Self respect is a disease. I know a few people who should catch it!!"

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have

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"Dear life, when i asked if my day could get any worse, it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge!!!!"

"The less you give a f*ck, the happier you will be."

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"When choosing a path in life, try to avoid the psychopaths"

"Never go to bed angry , Stay awake and plan your revenge."

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"Of course I talk to myself. I need to have an intelligent conversation every now & then."

"I don't have a short temper, I just have a quick reaction to bullshit."

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"I would suggest a battle of wits but I suspect you're low on ammunition."

"If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullsh*t."

.......

"I have a sixth sense, I see stupid people ;)"

If you love something, let it go..." Who ever said that was dumb as hell!!

..............

"Are you okay ? " I'm acting like I'm okay, please don't interrupt my performance!!"

Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it's a brighter day

What is/are your favorite sarcastic quotes? Drop them here..

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    • profile image

      anonymous 

      5 years ago

      really really awesome :P

    • mary lighthouse15 profile image

      mary lighthouse15 

      5 years ago

      I enjoyed reading:) High five!

    • BruceJackson1 profile image

      BruceJackson1 

      6 years ago

      This was cool and funny. It was a relief to read something humorous.

    • profile image

      cramey 

      6 years ago

      Nice, good stuff

    • jlshernandez profile image

      jlshernandez 

      6 years ago

      I like your last quotes on clouds. T's so true. Thanks for the chuckles.

    • jlshernandez profile image

      jlshernandez 

      6 years ago

      I like your last quotes on clouds. T's so true. Thanks for the chuckles.

    • bwet profile image

      bwet 

      6 years ago

      LOL hilarious quotes... love em'

    • profile imageAUTHOR

      iamtreehugger 

      6 years ago

      @fdurham: Thanks.. Happy to share stuff that made me laugh.. If i can be able to make someone day better that's a huge huge thing.. Spreading sunshine

    • profile imageAUTHOR

      iamtreehugger 

      6 years ago

      @dzigner: Thanks.. My fav quotes. They crack me up all the time. Happy you like it.

    • fdurham profile image

      fdurham 

      6 years ago

      These are good. Sarcasm rocks. :)

    • profile image

      dzigner 

      6 years ago

      These are funny! Thanks for the great lense!

    • spellbindingsis profile image

      spellbindingsis 

      6 years ago

      If you're gonna be stupid you better be tough. LOL I know it's not that cool :(

      www.spellbindingsisters.com

    • profile imageAUTHOR

      iamtreehugger 

      6 years ago

      @anonymous: Thanks. Was tough getting it approve though. A bit out of the box in terms of contents and presentation.. even chosen words. Its good i got through.

    • profile imageAUTHOR

      iamtreehugger 

      6 years ago

      @anonymous: My pleasure. That was intention to share some of the stuffs that perked me up when i most them the most. I have another lens about sarcasm for women please visit again and have a read

    • profile image

      anonymous 

      6 years ago

      Very well chosen sarcastic quotes and nicely presented.

    • profile image

      anonymous 

      6 years ago

      I absolutely love sarcasm. Some of these made me really laugh. Thank you for that. :)

    • profile imageAUTHOR

      iamtreehugger 

      6 years ago

      @anonymous: Thank You so much Momsbusy! I got another lens to publish on sarcastic quotes. Pls do come by again and have a laugh.. PS. I hope your comment is not your fav sarcastic quote!!! Hahaha

    • profile image

      anonymous 

      6 years ago

      This are really great quotes. They made my night!

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