ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Books, Literature, and Writing

The Twilight Series is Awful - Really, Really Horribly Awful

Updated on August 23, 2017

Good literature? Don't make me laugh!

The Twilight Series is Awful - Really, Really Horribly Awful

I'm sure you've heard of the Twilight craze, a series of vampire books written by Stephanie Meyer. Frankly, these books are just terrible, and there should only be two kinds of people reading them: 12-year-old girls, and people seeking to read something humorous. And I say humorous because it IS - the writing is so bad, it's comical. These books are seeking to destroy any glimmering hope that today's youth will emerge as a literate, intelligent generation. And, being a part of that generation myself, that's just not cool with me at all.

I want people to understand how horrible these books are. Truly and honestly just plain bad. Stephanie Meyer just does not write well, and I guess her editors are third graders. Or giraffes. I don't know how these books could land on the shelves, but they have, and they are filled with a copious amount of glaring and awful mistakes.

What makes Twilight so terribly, horribly bad?

Word Usage

Reason #1 as to why Twilight is the worst series ever... oops, I mean the consistently most unfavorable consecution...

Stephanie Meyer makes her writing way more complicated than it should be. I guess this was in an attempt to make her sound intelligent or something, but the end result is just pathetic. It's as though she used a thesaurus to replace every. single. word. "Small town" becomes "diminutive municipality", and it just sounds ridiculous. And don't think for a second that this sort of thing is just here-and-there - it's on nearly every single page.

The thing is you shouldn't use these words just for the sake of having a book full of big, pretty words. Big words don't make a book good - especially if the words are used in the wrong context all over the place. This practice is made especially horrible when you have a plot for a book aimed at teenagers, and you're using words that only a college graduate would be able to understand.

Every English teacher I've ever had always told me that good writing is written simply; using as little words as possible to say what needs to be said. Clearly, this is not a concept that Meyer has ever heard of.

Character Development

These characters are NOT like onions - they have one-layer personalities!

First of all, there is far too much character development, and not enough character to develop, if that makes sense. I mean to say that the characters are flat and predictable and there is zero mystery remaining past the initial paragraph of their introduction.

All of the characters can be summed up in whole in one or two words. Bella is clumsy. Edward is sparkly. Bella's dad is quiet. So on and so forth. The end. No more development of character. Don't think there's some hidden traits to these characters that you'll discover in later books... there's not.

In good books, the reader learns what makes the character who they are throughout the entire book. This is especially true if the book is part of the series! In a series, the reader should not know everything there is to know about the main character in the first two pages. Unfortunately, this is what happens in Twilight.

Boring Plot

Really, eye-gougingly, fall-asleep-reading-it boring.

When it comes to the plot of the book, THERE IS NONE!

One sentence summary of the entire series: A girl falls in love with a vampire, who she winds up with together forever despite a few minor discrepancies.That's it, really. The rest is fluffy, boring filler. The "climax" takes place in the last two chapters of the books and has nothing to do with the preceding 400 pages. The "conflict" is resolved far too easily.

I want to take this opportunity to present Stephanie Meyer with a gift. It's a simple plot graph, similar to many that I received in Elementary school.

See, Stephanie, there needs to be a balance of rising action and falling action, sandwiching a big, juicy peak in the plot. I learned this in first grade, and have written quite a few (albeit simple) stories since then, using this as my guide. If you use this as a tool for your future books, I'm sure you will not have hundreds of websites dedicated to the hate of your story.

Bella Swan: The World's Worst Role Model

Submission and insecurity does NOT make for a character that we should encourage young girls to look up to.

Bella Swan is the main character of the series. Somehow, despite being horribly plain and clumsy (and not to mention a new student at her high school in a really small town), she manages to have several guys fawning all over her without any effort at all.

So, okay, she's a completely unrealistic character. How does that make her a poor role model, you ask?

Well, throughout the series, Bella becomes completely dependent on the "love of her life," a vampire. She is insecure and thrives on his attention When she finds out that he had been watching her sleep, she is delighted, rather than being understandably freaked out. By the end of book one, she is more than ready to give up any ambition to go to college or pursue a normal life, and strongly wishes to be a vampire so she can become immortal and spend the rest of her life with a boy she basically just met. And how does Stephanie Meyer continue this sickening teenage codependent affair? By making Bella continually more and more submissive to "her man" throughout the series. By the time she's eighteen, she's a pregnant vampire.

Great, awesome. Thanks for trying to inspire our youth, Stephanie Meyer.

An open letter to Twilight fans

"But hey! That's not nice! I like Twilight!"

Dear Twilight Fans,

Okay, okay. You like Twilight. I get it. Now please stop plaguing the internet with a million MS Paint "signs" dedicated to your love of it. Stop shoving Twilight down my throat on every website I visit. Just stop already. If I see another Facebook Bumper Sticker about Twilight, I will scream.

And please, please, please stop talking about "Edward". You want to meet a guy like Edward? Really? He's not even real, people. It's a character in a book. I promise you, no matter how much you whine, you will never, ever, ever find a perfect and sparkly 107-year-old vampire who will fall in love with the scent of your blood, and frankly, I think you're really odd for even wanting that in the first place. Seriously, though, cut it out. Edward is not real and you're annoying the rest of us.

Also, could you please stop comparing Twilight to the Harry Potter series? Really, I mean it. Harry Potter is far better than Twilight on so many levels, and that's not even just personal opinion. Nobody could deny the fact that the plot of the Harry Potter series is just so much more developed, and it's just an enjoyable read for all ages. Harry Potter has lasting impressions on everybody that reads it.. for YEARS! Twilight will be forgotten in the next two years, tops.

Kind regards,

Kristensup

Weigh in!

Obviously there ARE sensible and literate fans of Twilight - but why? Can you REALLY defend the series?

The Twilight Series is Awful - Really, Really Horribly Awful

Are you a fellow Twilight hater? Do you dislike the Twilight for any other reasons?

Drop me a line

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      Ruth 4 weeks ago

      I think people take Twilight way too seriously, it's just guilty pleasure sort of book. Also people calling Edward stalker and creepy doesn't make sense. He is a vampire, that's what they do right ? Prey on sleeping people at night (haven't they heard of the inccubus ?). He is a mythical creature, hence same rules don't apply to him. Same goes for Jacob, the wolf. Also imprinting is a real thing in the animal world, and it doesn't work in a perverted way. At the end of the day I would call it junk food of books that gets stale as one gets old, just like most pop songs. I am glad it exists though as I got to learn alot of grammer from websites that analyse the mistakes in the book, being a non-native English speaker, that helped me alot. Also it got me to read books as a teenager...

    • profile image

      Muffin 2 years ago

      Twilight is terrible.

    • profile image

      Anonymous 2 years ago

      Twilight is just terrible... No other way to say it

      "Hi my name is Bella Swan, I fall in love with a vampire and am not freaked out at all by the fact that he stalks me. In fact, I love him so much that when dumped me, I tried to commit suicide!"

      Nice going there Stephanie Meyer.....

    • profile image

      anonymous 2 years ago

      I have read the books, and have seen the movies (yes, all of them, even the parody one), and I don't get why you dislike Twilight that much. I mean, sure, the books are poor written and shit, but let face it, they provide us great entertainment. Now, whenever you write something, you can always look at the Twilight series and tell yourself: "Hey, what do you know, at least mine makes much more sense. And easier to understand". Not only that, thanks to Twilight, we now have lots of interesting pages online tell us why Twilight sucks and why our dearest Bella is the member of the Sue clan. You can't tell me they don't make you laugh, because I'm sure they do. So, better appreciate Twilight, people.

      Oh, btw, Twilight fans, just fuck off and die, I'm serious. Just because you like the series and the others don't does not give you the right to go crazy and shit whenever someone says Twilight is awful. Just get a life or something instead of fantasizing about Eddy the sparkly vampire all the time. And really, stop plotting the murder of those who dislike the series. You don't really have a gut to do that anyway.

    • profile image

      sillyorchid1983 5 years ago

      I would like to say this:

      TWILIGHT IS THE EPITAMY OF RUN ON SENTENCES! First off, any book that begins its series with the word OMNIPRESENCE, already exclaims the writer is an over achiever! I mean really vampires in daylight! Seriously, I am an avid reader and fan of Vampire series and chronicles. I truly believe that vampires are nocturnal fictitious creatures that needn't anymore improvement. Stephanie Meyers really shouldn't be placed up there as an accomplished literate. Simply, because most great books are simple and verbiage can be comprehended. In all fairness I realize she wanted her fan base to grow and mature with her books, however the last time I checked by the time I was 18 I still didn't know what love really was or even now its still a complicated matter!!!! Really, Twilighter's get a LIFE!!! LOL!!

    • profile image

      RealAnise 5 years ago

      GREAT essay!! Okay, I'm going to start out by saying that:

      A. I've read all the Twilight books, far more times than I'd like to admit

      and

      B.Yes, I've seen all the movies, too. (hides)

      AND

      C. I'm a Christian. No, not THAT kind of Christian (is sure everyone is picturing wild-eyed Bible-thumping fundamentalists.) However, that fact does give me some insight into what goes on with so many Christians who ARE both fundamentalist and conservative, and who have melted into little puddles of goo over Twilight. I think that religious people have hyperventilated over a couple of points that seemed very appealing to their belief structures-- such as Edward refusing to have sex with Bella before marriage-- and ignoring the other 800,000 things that should have been red flags.

      Bella actually does think specifically about her religious beliefs (or lack thereof) at one point in New Moon, and then just dismisses them. She states more than once that she doesn't really care if she loses her soul, as long as she's with Edward. How about her yapping on repeatedly about how she didn't really care if she went to heaven or not, as long as she ended up with him? If I actually WERE arguing this in that variety of Christian forum, I'd get into the entire 2 Corinthians 5 discussion, where Paul clearly states that the kind of relationship Bella gets into with Edward after knowing him for, oh, about 2 weeks is the kind that we are explicitly told we should only have with God (yes, this really only makes sense if you're a Biblical literalist, but that's kind of the whole point here.) In fact, the entire vampire/werewolf theme really SHOULD have been enough to cause fundies to light big bonfires made up of nothing but several Amazon truckloads-worth of Twilight copies (and let's not forget the point in Twilight where Bella stated that she didn't really care if Angela turned out to be a witch...) but rarely a discouraging word was said.

      Really, there was nothing from Christians that compared to the outcry against Harry Potter, even though everything about Twilight should have been much more disturbing.

    • profile image

      RealAnise 5 years ago

      GREAT essay!! Okay, I'm going to start out by saying that:

      A. I've read all the Twilight books, far more times than I'd like to admit

      and

      B.Yes, I've seen all the movies, too. (hides)

      AND

      C. I'm a Christian. No, not THAT kind of Christian (is sure everyone is picturing wild-eyed Bible-thumping fundamentalists.) However, that fact does give me some insight into what goes on with so many Christians who ARE both fundamentalist and conservative, and who have melted into little puddles of goo over Twilight. I think that religious people have hyperventilated over a couple of points that seemed very appealing to their belief structures-- such as Edward refusing to have sex with Bella before marriage-- and ignoring the other 800,000 things that should have been red flags.

      Bella actually does think specifically about her religious beliefs (or lack thereof) at one point in New Moon, and then just dismisses them. She states more than once that she doesn't really care if she loses her soul, as long as she's with Edward. How about her yapping on repeatedly about how she didn't really care if she went to heaven or not, as long as she ended up with him? If I actually WERE arguing this in that variety of Christian forum, I'd get into the entire 2 Corinthians 5 discussion, where Paul clearly states that the kind of relationship Bella gets into with Edward after knowing him for, oh, about 2 weeks is the kind that we are explicitly told we should only have with God (yes, this really only makes sense if you're a Biblical literalist, but that's kind of the whole point here.) In fact, the entire vampire/werewolf theme really SHOULD have been enough to cause fundies to light big bonfires made up of nothing but several Amazon truckloads-worth of Twilight copies (and let's not forget the point in Twilight where Bella stated that she didn't really care if Angela turned out to be a witch...) but rarely a discouraging word was said.

      Really, there was nothing from Christians (conservative or otherwise) that compared to the stupid outcry against Harry Potter, even though everything about Twilight should have been much more disturbing.

    • profile image

      HarryPotterHedgehog 6 years ago

      This is really awesome(: very well thought out and all, really great, concise reasons. Way to have the guts to post this and brave the downpour of twihards. :D

    • carny profile image

      carny 7 years ago

      Some Twilight fans honestly scare me - but I don't think I should say anything bad about the books as I haven't read them. I saw the first Twilight movie though. I thought it was terrible, then I went online and read the book reviews and decided it's not for me :)

      I'm sometimes tempted to read it though, to see if it's really as bad as everyone says.

    • Stazjia profile image

      Carol Fisher 7 years ago from Warminster, Wiltshire, UK

      Blessed by an Angel.

    • profile image

      nevillelongbottomismybf 8 years ago

      [in reply to mopngloflo]

      Yeah, why don't you get some spelling lessons?

    • profile image

      nevillelongbottomismybf 8 years ago

      Excellent! I tip my hat off to you. I personally haven't read Twilight, but I've heard bad things about it from my friend who has read it and my aunt, who said it was "the biggest waste of her time." Twitards really just need to read some good literature and then think, "Is Twilight really OMG THE BESTEST BOOK EVA?"

    • profile image

      inkserotica 8 years ago

      I've never read the books and never want to especially now :) Well said! 5*

    • TreasuresBrenda profile image

      Treasures By Brenda 8 years ago from Canada

      I haven't read the books nor seen the movies. I expect one day I will. In the meantime, it is nice to hear another point of view. Nicely done; blessed by a SquidAngel.

    • unique freak77 profile image

      unique freak77 8 years ago

      AHAHAHAHAHA. I LOVE this lens. Amazing! Made me laugh while pointing the so obvious flaws in Twilight. I actually kind of liked the first Twilight book, even though I knew how horrible it was, there was just something enticing about it. So yeah, I do kinda like the first book, but I agree with all your points. But it's tragic some of the levels these fans reach with obsession. Not just tragic, scary, haha.

      5 stars and favoriting! Also, lensrolling to my lens, "Edward Cullen-Stalker?" :)

    • MikeMoore LM profile image

      MikeMoore LM 8 years ago

      Great lens! I've never read the Twilight series, but I know my wife did and loved every page. Anyway, this was a very entertaining lens. It's nice to see an opposing opinion too.

    • Stazjia profile image

      Carol Fisher 8 years ago from Warminster, Wiltshire, UK

      I really can't comment on the Twilight series because I've never read any of them but this lens made me laugh. I love it.

    • EpicFarms profile image

      EpicFarms 8 years ago

      Hmmm...I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that "mopngloflo's" comment serves as a case in point as to why no one seems to have noticed Meyer's lack of prowess with a pen. I read the first book (yawn) just to see what all the hoopla was about. Outside of the "forbidden" aspect of the subject, I'd have to say I still don't get it. Very nicely done lens ~ 5*

      www.squidoo.com/ConnieCrankpot

    • profile image

      SissaGoose 8 years ago

      I love you Kristen, and your brutally honest analysis.

      When I always talk about how poorly written the Twilight series is, people just scoff and assume I'm jealous of the author's success.

      I would be quite ashamed being made famous from these horrible excuses for books.

    • greenerme profile image

      greenerme 8 years ago

      I know nothing about Twilight, haven't read the book or seen the movie, but I'm glad FINALLY someone made an anti Twilight lens. It's about time!

    • profile image

      mopngloflo 8 years ago

      You are whrong! I love the Twilight seris. It is the best thang I have iver reed. You suke!! Whay donut you go haiting somewhere else. LUZER!!

    • drifter0658 lm profile image

      drifter0658 lm 8 years ago

      LMAO.....finally, the truth!

      That second link MR gives is way too funny!

      Thanks!

    • Rachel Field profile image

      Rachel Field 8 years ago

      Have you read Cleolinda's thoughts on Twilight?

      http://cleolinda.livejournal.com/602881.html

      And this: http://otahyoni.livejournal.com/130432.html#cutid1

      A breakdown of all the hilarious description and stats