when the night comes down
When the night comes down
right on top of me
and i can feel the heaviness
that was the day
i try to sweep aside the insanity
mostly, to no avail.
secrets creeping, arguments standing, life feeling so much heavier
than it was meant to feel.
certain sentences linger on me
that others have washed off by now
but i can usually still feel them clinging
for longer than they were meant to
words tend not to have a shelf life
when stored in your mind
like a pantry full of forevers
that were meant to be temporary.
These things seem to affect the more genuine of the two
me, id rather have pretension than an ill meant hurtful blow.
Then again, im not ill hearted.
Even if that's how you've received me.
Ive come to hold close the days that feel nice
because they are so easily ruined.
and that is how im feeling now.
i often wonder why hurtful meetings refuse to brush off
as i wish they could.
i just kind of feel punished right now
for an argument that was sparked by a certain refusal, or rejection.
a kind of "no no" finger wag.
I feel like a dog that has been told to go lay down.
now to go try to feel better
its disheartening that peace is now something to struggle for
isn't that not quite the point?