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when the night comes down

Updated on April 3, 2011

When the night comes down

right on top of me

and i can feel the heaviness

that was the day

i try to sweep aside the insanity

mostly, to no avail.

secrets creeping, arguments standing, life feeling so much heavier

than it was meant to feel.

certain sentences linger on me

that others have washed off by now

but i can usually still feel them clinging

for longer than they were meant to

words tend not to have a shelf life

when stored in your mind

like a pantry full of forevers

that were meant to be temporary.

These things seem to affect the more genuine of the two

me, id rather have pretension than an ill meant hurtful blow.

Then again, im not ill hearted.

Even if that's how you've received me.

Ive come to hold close the days that feel nice

because they are so easily ruined.

and that is how im feeling now.

i often wonder why hurtful meetings refuse to brush off

as i wish they could.

i just kind of feel punished right now

for an argument that was sparked by a certain refusal, or rejection.

a kind of "no no" finger wag.

I feel like a dog that has been told to go lay down.

anyway

now to go try to feel better

its disheartening that peace is now something to struggle for

isn't that not quite the point? 

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    • the pink umbrella profile image
      Author

      the pink umbrella 7 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me.

      you are much too kind Jared peace, thank you.

    • Jared Peace profile image

      Jared Peace 7 years ago from the deepest pits of boredom

      Amazing. This has to be among the best writings I've read in recent times.

    • the pink umbrella profile image
      Author

      the pink umbrella 7 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me.

      and again i bow my head to the compliments given me by a master of word weaving.

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 7 years ago

      .....well well well ... silly Colin has finally found 'THE' pink umbrella - lol lol - thanks to an intrepid source - and my oh my Steph how your writing has matured over time like a fine wine - no wonder I adopted you with the surname of 'Shakespeare' because this is really world class poetry - that even the epi-man would have trouble composing .....

    • profile image

      Johnny Love 7 years ago

      Lead the way. Jealous? don't see why.

    • the pink umbrella profile image
      Author

      the pink umbrella 7 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me.

      i am not sorry for my pain. i invite it in, and hold it close to me. it is part of me, and i cherish it just as i cherish my anger, happieness, or any other feeling that i have. Im not in love with the pain, but without that, how could one ever grasp the signifigance of pleasure?

      embrace your emotions, and by the way... im jealouse of your words. "Under the darkness my shadows are home."

      something to build on??? ;) .

    • profile image

      Johnny Love 7 years ago

      I wish I knew. I am sorry for your pain as I know the feeling of mine. So much emotions clouding my view. I get lost in words, but they all look the same. Under the darkness my shadows are home. i may need glue. or ebay

    • the pink umbrella profile image
      Author

      the pink umbrella 7 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me.

      i find that when everything has been fixed, what the hell am i going to do with all of this glue...?

    • profile image

      Johnny Love 7 years ago

      I have come to find that in being broken, I can be healed, in feeling pain, I learn a lesson, In holding on, I can let go, In all I do, learn from my heart.

    • the pink umbrella profile image
      Author

      the pink umbrella 7 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me.

      mikielikie- thanx, and you certainly can express yourself in your own way. Once you start, it gets hard not to. every time i end up feeling strongly about one thing or another, i can feel my fingers aching for the key board!

      Fossillady- hello my love! yes, i felt i needed some meditation but as of right now, that is really hard for me to do. the music is a help, as is the writing, but i am going to try to really get into meditation. I hear it helps tremendously.

    • Fossillady profile image

      Kathi 7 years ago from Saugatuck Michigan

      Hello Pink, While I was placing myself in your shoes...and that's the best way to take in a poem...I quickly thought that meditation would be a good cure for you in this temporary state and had a aha moment at the end! Good for you and thank you for the video...it gave me some peace of mind! Smiles

    • mikielikie profile image

      mikielikie 7 years ago from Texas

      great writing! I wish I could bring my feelings out like you do in print.

    • the pink umbrella profile image
      Author

      the pink umbrella 7 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me.

      We are all broken Johnny Love...and that's where the writing comes in. :) You are not alone. Ive always thought that yea, a vase is nice and pretty on the shelf, but look how beautifully the light catches its broken pieces on the floor. Much more extroardinary.

    • KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

      Susan Hazelton 7 years ago from Sunny Florida

      Very interesting. It does appear to be true for most of us that words tend not have a shelf life.

    • profile image

      Johnny Love 7 years ago

      This hit me, but my pantry is full of temporary when it should have been or felt like forevers. Vey lovely. Sad to me, but only because i am broken. Blessed be.

    • sofs profile image

      sofs 7 years ago

      mmm thought provoking... people come in all shapes and colors. The emotions that you feel are released strongly through your words. Pink umbrella, You know who you are...let your peace remain with you. God Bless!!

    • LorreesWorld profile image

      LorreesWorld 7 years ago from Colorado

      I like this very much

    • Paradise7 profile image

      Paradise7 7 years ago from Upstate New York

      I understand that feeling, and you communicated it very, very well. Good job.

    • zzron profile image

      zzron 7 years ago from Houston, TX.

      A very interesting mind set and an in depth expression of thought.

    • Cagsil profile image

      Cagsil 7 years ago from USA or America

      Hey Pink, you did again as always, provide insight to your thoughts and feelings through your expression. It's always a pleasure to see you adding to your collection of writings. :) Thumbs up! :)

    • Awful Poet profile image

      Awful Poet 7 years ago from The Large Magellanic Cloud (LMC) (m-M)_0 = 18.41, or 48 kpc (~157,000

      This is a cool piece~

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