ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

blocked

Updated on September 10, 2009

 

it has grown so overwhelmingly hard to write.  i sit, i have a pen and a sheet of paper, and then...nothing.

used to be all i had to do was sit down in quiet serenity and let the pen scroll across the page freely.  no thoughts.  no backspace.

now i think to much, now i cant just write. In a little over two years I have only written one or two decent pieces.  something that shames me.  the one that her family said would make them proud with her words and all she can do is write child-like journal entries.  what did i do today, who did i see.  what did they say and why?  nothing more, no art, no expression.

writer's block is a fear that bears down on all of us one time or another, but this has lasted so long.  i fear that i have lost any talent that i may or may not have possessed at one time.

discouraged and beaten.  i tried to write today, and this is what came from it.  more whining, more apathy.

used to be my shame of this country's politics and quite a few of the huddled masses that would inspire powerful and angry writings.

used to be that love and loss of it would also inspire my thoughts, though my life with this love is hectic and leaves little time to sit and write. 

used to be that simple human nature would spark some creativity, i fed on the brutality of the human race.  now, i have  become just as brutal.

the world is so cruel. my dreams are coming to an end.  all the things i cried for, all the things i yearned for all my life have now been swept to the side for more important things.  money, survival.

used to be that i didnt care if i lived in my car, i could do that and be fine with who i was.  just enought money to survive and i could have been happy.  but its not just me anymore.  there is a family, and love.  and i guess we all must grow up sometime.  but why does that have to mean that all of the morals that i held all my life, all the values i believed in so much, all of these things have to be rewritten?  why must i change the very core of who i am simply to survive in this harsh reality?

naive and childish i can no longer be.  i can no longer dream of constant travel and living the life of a nomad. 

to be the bearer of bad news i wish not to be, but this is how i have found the world to be. breaks are given to the undeserving, and money to the already rich.  people dont help people and no one cares how talented you are.  

writing is a talent of last century, and there is no place in this modern world for someone like me.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Waren E profile image

      Waren E 

      8 years ago from HAS LEFT THE BUILDING............

      ms jessica marie your depth of expressing yourself through writing is the most captivating, when you're not arguing!

      and this hub is proof,I would never be brutal to you though!:D

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)