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Synopsis of My Book About Relationship Mistakes That Men Make

Updated on December 12, 2017
Glenn Stok profile image

Glenn Stok writes inspirational topics about relationships based on experience. His paperback 'What Was I Thinking' is available on Amazon.

Many times I questioned myself, asking why I repeated the same mistakes, never committing to marriage even though I always enjoyed being in a relationship.

A dream of mine had always been to be in a permanent relationship, create a family, and enjoy years of building memories that we can look back on in old age with the feeling of satisfaction.

However, I never let that happen. Later in life I looked back on it and wondered, "What Was I Thinking?" That's how I came up with the title for my book.

My mission with writing it was to share the lessons I've learned from my mistakes, in hopes to helps others.

I had the manuscript reviewed by a prominent psychologist to assure the accuracy of my opinions. He caught something that needed to be corrected, and in the process I learned something new. I consider it a never-ending process to continually improve.

Each chapter has a special focus on giving specific tips and advice that should help one understand various issues men have. I applied the knowledge I have developed with the wisdom and age, and I present the material with an honest explanation of the mistakes I've made prior to achieving that wisdom.

My inspirational self-help book on relationships.
My inspirational self-help book on relationships. | Source

Summary of Each Chapter

Chapter One: Knowing It - A Short Story

I set the stage in the first chapter with a short story of an experience I had meeting a wonderful woman. In the years we were together I found myself really knowing that she was the one. However, I failed to acknowledge that because I thought I was finding too many problems with her. Later in the book I discuss how I realized the problems were only in my own mind.

Chapter Two: Vision

What is the most important thing in a relationship? Vision!

My second chapter deals with this concept I discovered later in life, the ability to visualize one's future with an existing relationship. It helps appreciate what you've got.

Chapter Three: Being Available

How do you make your relationship better? You've got to be emotionally available.

A therapist made me aware of the correct way to be emotionally available. After fully understanding this I had dedicated a full chapter to the concept of knowing when we are right and when we are wrong.

Chapter Four: Verification

What are the qualities of a good relationship?

I know some people who stay in an abusive relationship and refuse to listen to the advice of friends. Being committed may be one thing, but sometimes one needs to know if they are in a truly bad relationship.

I learned that I needed to verify the qualities of a good relationship after wasting years of not doing so. In chapter four I talk about when to stay, and when one needs to leave.

Chapter Five: The Spectrum of Reality

How do you build a strong relationship? By being in the moment at all times.

I tend to have a creative way of looking at things and enjoyed writing chapter five about what I called "The Spectrum of Reality." It's my way of guiding my reader to recognize where they are failing to see the reality of a relationship.

Chapter Six: Life's Rude Awakening

This is a concept I came up with. I actually had trouble expressing this idea and a psychologist who helped proofread my manuscript had told me I was wrong. Once you hear what I said you might also think "Glenn doesn't know what he's talking about!"

Here's my concept... "The best relationship is with someone you don't have a personal interest in as a lifetime partner."

Well, I'm glad I had my manuscript reviewed by actual psychologist. Thanks to his constructive criticism, I rewrote chapter six and got his approval.

There really is a meaningful explanation for why a relationship can be great if you have no interest in the other person. I explain it in detail in chapter six.

Chapter Seven: Communicating Thoughts and Feelings

The book wouldn't be complete if I didn't include a chapter on communicating. In this chapter I introduced my method of keeping a journal of thoughts and feelings to communicate with my inner self.

I found it helpful to write about my thoughts and feelings in a journal to review later—sometimes years later. It was almost like the "me from the past" communicating with the "me of the future."

Hey, if your friends don't guide you, maybe your prior self will. It's like the reverse of your future self coming back to tell you everything you did wrong.

Chapter Eight: Dealing with Disappointments

We'll always have disappointments in life from time to time and we need to deal with them in a constructive way. However, we also need to appreciate who we are and not let people abuse our kind nature.

People should treat us with respect and we shouldn't accept anything less!

Chapter Nine: Relationship Realism

Chapter nine is about being realistic—a concept of mine I call "relationship realism."

Once I said to a friend, "Don't miss out on a blessing because it isn't packaged the way that you expect." I amazed myself when I said that. I don't know where it came from. It just popped out of my head. Sometimes we guide other people better than we guide ourselves. I wish I had considered that when it mattered.

Chapter Ten: Micro Reality, Ultimate Goal

Pursuing our goals is an important topic if one is to be successful with any endeavor in life. I always found an easy way to avoid procrastination by following small easy-to-handle micro-steps.

I call my concept "Micro Reality." It's my own version of successfully reaching our goals one step at a time. Sometimes we just need to make those steps a little smaller in order to climb them with ease. It works!

Chapter Eleven: Deal Breakers

My focus throughout the book was on recognizing how our attitude causes some of us to fail to commit.

I still have to admit that there are two sides to the story. There are some real situations where we might actually be right.

When I struggled with my habit of finding fault, I ended up spending a lot of time in bad relationships because I thought it was just me being me again.

It took a lot of insight to become aware that some things are deal breakers.

Chapter Twelve: Creative Thoughts of Inspiration

With my creative side I often came up with interesting concepts that people have said are quite meaningful. I also like to give these concepts creative names.

Some inspirational concepts I include in chapter twelve are Easy Rejection Syndrome, Heavenly Love, Power Planning, and The Stream Of Life. You'll have to read the book to find out what they're all about.

Chapter Thirteen: A Bachelor's Poems

When I feel emotional about someone I tend to become poetic. I had saved most of the poems I wrote about relationships over the years.

I decided that a good conclusion for a book offering a new start in life is to include a few of my poems that are related to the subject—and that's how it begins.

© 2012 Glenn Stok

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    • Glenn Stok profile image
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      Glenn Stok 2 years ago from Long Island, NY

      cygnetbrown - Actually I think that's a great idea Donna - using fiction to introduce inspirational messages. I'm going to go check out what you wrote about.

    • cygnetbrown profile image

      Cygnet Brown 2 years ago from Springfield, Missouri

      Way to go! I too write inspirational books, but mine are fiction stories with inspirational messages. However I have been thinking about writing a book like this too, and your hub was very informational.

    • Glenn Stok profile image
      Author

      Glenn Stok 3 years ago from Long Island, NY

      Shannon11 - Very interesting. Your relationship confirms what I discuss in chapter six. But you take it a step further. People can be in a committed relationship even when they have no interest in one another. They have an interest in the relationship itself. How cool is that?

    • profile image

      Shannon11 3 years ago

      Firstly, congratulations on writing your book! Very touching words.

      i would also like to say, that Chapter Six, blew me away! I have no interest whatsoever, in my partner. (That sounds profound, but its true.) We both have totally different aspects on life, and are 100% committed to each other. Reading your book has put my mind in a trance of reality. I personally thought, that my way of thinking was totally different to the way i lived. In your words, i was psychologically in repetitive mode.

      Thank you.

    • Glenn Stok profile image
      Author

      Glenn Stok 3 years ago from Long Island, NY

      PegCole17 - Thank you, Peg, for that wonderful comment. You wrote a very good review of my book with your kind sentiments.

    • PegCole17 profile image

      Peg Cole 3 years ago from Dallas, Texas

      Glenn, this valuable and personal advice is sure to inspire others to write that long-delayed book that resides within us all. I was particularly interested in your struggles with commitment and the reasoning which led you to insight about your relationships. Sometimes when we write something down, it either validates our true feelings or shows us where we might have gone wrong.

      I can certainly relate to the title of your book with my past relationships and the study of what went wrong (or right) that leads us to self enlightenment. Congratulations on writing your book and on an informational hub with lots of depth.

    • Glenn Stok profile image
      Author

      Glenn Stok 5 years ago from Long Island, NY

      brakel2,

      Sometimes the best thing to write about is when we have struggles in life. Especially if they are common struggles that other people have also, and if they can benefit from reading a comparison. Thanks for stopping by and for your comments and feedback.

    • brakel2 profile image

      Audrey Selig 5 years ago from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

      Glenn - I enjoyed this hub, because I understand it thoroughly. I know of a person like you and his potential partner who have the same struggle. Your article is organized, easy to understand, and probably one that needs to be read again to get the full impact. I find it interesting that you had it reviewed by two authorities, as it probably helped make the book a seller. I know I edit my writing multiple times and sometimes get another opinion. Good luck in your endeavors, and +1 for the book summary.

    • Glenn Stok profile image
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      Glenn Stok 5 years ago from Long Island, NY

      summerberrie, I know a number of people who used it as a gift for someone who might benefit from it. I hope your son finds it useful. Thanks for checking this out and for commenting.

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      summerberrie 5 years ago

      Glenn, your hub found its way in my notification e-mail. I was in the middle of doing a book review for a self-help inspiration book so I thought reading your hub would help provide me with some criteria as I evaluated the book, and it did. After reading your hub, I also think your book would be a great gift to my adult son who is in a relationship now. Thanks for the insightful information both from your book itself and how to write an inspirational book!

    • Jlbowden profile image

      James Bowden 5 years ago from Long Island, New York

      Glenn:

      I myself have always wanted to write a romance novel,however I have had gone down some rocky roads myself in terms of relationships. And feel that I have a good story or two that could be benefit others as well when it comes down to this category. Thanks for giving me that additional bit of inspiration to someday write a book like this that others can benefit from.

      Jim