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5 Tips for Selecting A Bad Real Estate Agent or Realtor When Selling Your House

Updated on January 16, 2012
All sales are final.
All sales are final.

Good Realtors can sell anything.

Recently my wife and I bought a new house and sold our old one. While I would love to tell you how to easily sell your house, I can't. What I can do is tell you what not to do. Here are five things to do if you absolutely do not want to have an easy time selling your house.

#1 Don't Ask Questions.

While it might be nice to know things like, "How many houses have you sold in the last year?", "Where are most of the houses you represent located?", or "Can I have some references?", it really isn't important. Only people who want to sell houses ask these questions. Obviously you're reading this because you don't care.

#2 Don't Examine Their Other Listings.

All Real Estate Agents handle real estate. Land is land; houses are houses. It doesn't matter what kind of listings an agent has. If 99% of their listings have titles like "Crack house on busy corner, cheap," they'll be perfect to sell your mansion. Likewise, if they only sell big properties, they'll have the right reputation to move your 1968 Airstream down at the Park & Pay Mobile Home Park.

#3 Don't Check Your Listing.

You can always be certain that your listing is correct. No one in the history of advertising has ever been wrong. Especially commission-driven sales people. They wouldn't do something weird like merely copying the information from the local tax authority and calling it a "listing," would they? Nah, they've got an office and everything. Surely they wouldn't do that.

#4 Follow The Realtor's Advice on Everything.

When you finally get someone looking at your old place and ready to make an offer, they're going to want to have some things changed. It's the way the world works. They complain and you either fix stuff or knock the price down. Realtors always have a batch of inexpensive, experienced, "A"-grade people who work for cash. They're ready to fix your problems for you. Of course, paying cash means that everything is always perfect. You wouldn't want to check the fix-it guys with the local Better Business Bureau or anything weird like that, would you?

#5 Family Friends Make the Best Realtors.

The best way to find a Realtor is to ask someone if they know one. If you find one that your boss worked with 20 years ago, that's great. Now if you boss has no knowledge of the person's abilities as a Realtor, don't sweat it. Obviously someone who was fun at parties will be even better at selling real estate. Once again, I wouldn't bother with references or anything like that. I mean, really, a friend of a friend is a friend of yours. Or maybe a friend of the Devil. I can never remember.

Just remember, when times are tough, the tough get going. Listening to people who have been through similar circumstances is stupid. You aren't stupid; don't listen to other people.


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    • ChasingAutumn profile image

      ChasingAutumn 5 years ago from Machesney Park, Illinois

      This was awesome!!!

    • tirelesstraveler profile image

      Judy Specht 5 years ago from California

      Wondering if your realtor is related to our sellers agent. You Can't choose the sellers agent, but a good agent is worth their weight in gold.

      Linking to my hub. Glad you made lemonade out of lemons.

    • JoshuaThePost profile image

      JoshuaThePost 5 years ago from Palace of the Brine

      Me. Gusta. So true.

    • everymom profile image

      Anahi Pari-di-Monriva 5 years ago from Massachusetts

      I'm not a realtor, yet, and I live in the Northeast, but, trust me, I will sell your house! I loved this Hub! Thanks for the much-needed laugh (am under deadline and my mind feels like molasses).

    • Liz Green Berry profile image

      Liz Green Berry 5 years ago from TX

      The last one is the most important. TWICE we made the mistake of going with people my relatives knew. Next time? We're going with COLD HARD FACTS. There's a lady at one of the local relators with a selling award named after her - I think we go with HER next time

    • DougBerry profile image

      DougBerry 5 years ago from Abilene, TX

      Most of this is based off of the first realtor we tried. It was...sad.

    • FloraBreenRobison profile image

      FloraBreenRobison 5 years ago

      My brother is a former realtor. This made me laugh.