ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

From Alone to Roommates . Making It Work .

Updated on March 20, 2015

Tips for living harmoniously with 3 people

Based on true fact

I am a female in my mid 50's and currently room with three males , When my husband passed away , with him died his pension.

These guys are 23. 35. and 52 . Oh yea and my male cat Buddy who is 9 lol.

1) Ya need to be consistent with rules that work for everyone and sit down and talk about them when its necessary as it will avoid any power struggles that might occur between them.

A) The number one rule as I call it ... Is to play nice as much as possible. In other words , Don't sweat the small stuff , Living at my place is very laid back and calm , lots of joking around but if a situation is serious we also sit and talk about it !

B) Smoking, There is no smoking inside the home but there is a sun room in the back yard that is okay for smoking. Smoking of other substances has to be totally away from both the house and sun.

C) This is my place and what I say goes not what one of them thinks , therefore if there is a situation or an issue going on they are to come to me first and I will deal with it. In doing it that way it keeps calmness within the ranks so to speak.

2) Establishing everyone's responsibilities as in chores around the house cause if ya don't . you will end up with the maids hat .. And the next thing they will want your apron stings to baby them further ( smiles ) A) We sat and talked and one of them ended up preferring cleaning the bathroom while the other does garbage and other odds and ends . B) But weekly we do a major clean day and then all of us just jump in and together we get it all done

3) Insisting that everyone has their own tv and cable in their rooms helps makes it very easy for everyone to enjoy their own spaces. A) Don't get me wrong there is a TV in what I call the common room whereby everyone is welcome to watch . But it is a common room, so if you are not into chatting or whatever else might be going on then its best if you carry on over to your own space. B) I do encourage group chats tho. Interacting with each other is always good, Its how you get to know someone also.

4) We all exist on a need to know basis . if we don't think people need to know we don't share and thus no one feels as if their private lives needs to be reported . Frankly I don't care what goes on in their lives as long as they don't bring a cop to my door and the rent is on the table when it needs to be.


Don't Let This Happen To You ..

Demand That Everyone's Space Is to Be Respected

Because we are all adults and this is the 21st century, I do allow overnight guests but if its just some quiet time whereby you would like to spend time with that someone special or even some buddies and some bubblies I would prefer that there is warning ahead of time if possible so the rest of us can be made aware and will respect the space you are asking for .

I want to be told and I will relay the message to others . If they forget to let me know then they may encounter an accidental intrusion.

Encourage you roommates or boarders to come to you if they develop issues with one of the others so that you have the chance to trouble shoot or damage control the situation perhaps deviating what could become a situation no one really wants .

Generally they are receptive to me and it gets straightened out usually immediately.

Trying to stay on top of things can sometimes be a feat and yoU need to keep track kind of who is home and whom isn't . Getting lazy about closing doors and things could .Otherwise get you caught with your pants down. ( laughing)


Getting Caught With Your Pants Down lol

Respect of one's space and being aware of who is home and who isn't is what is a number one issue. No one wants to get caught with their pants down ,,  (Laughing )
Respect of one's space and being aware of who is home and who isn't is what is a number one issue. No one wants to get caught with their pants down ,, (Laughing )

Obviously There Can,t Be Harmony 24 / 7 But

Most of the time there is simply harmony because we do just go about our own business, We cook for ourselves most of time but on occasion we will get together and cook things together. whereby like a potluck supper everyone contributes something. On the rare moments where we are all home we will sometimes sit and chat in a round discussion about anything and everything. But often you would find us spread out throughout the house each doing our own thing.

I have had other boarders that have not fit in. They were the kind that apparently thrived on causing waves just to see the reactions of people. I had one who tried to give me reasons why they were a better tenant then the one that had been with me 3 years before he moved in. Petty things of that nature gives me reason to ask you to move on, There is no lease here but there are rules that are written up that you must agree and sign .




How I Chose My Roommates

When I chose my roommates I looked for the following attributes to try to ensure a good fit. A) They would have to be working or in school , Someone who would not be underfoot 24/7. B) For myself I prefer males as most females are more drama queens and I really don't want that. I have found men are more likely to go on about their lives and drama is generally rarer in males. But that is just my opinion. C) I check references and interview them with the other roommate or mates present. I want all of us to feel ok about them and not just me as we all have to live under one roof. Also it represents a certain amount of security for me .

BUT BEWARE ... A NEW BROOM ALWAYS SWEEPS CLEAN AND WE HAVE BEEN HIT WITH A FEW UGLY STRAW ONES !!

The ugly straw ones I am referring to are the ones who try to manipulate situations or suggest that they are the better tenant for one reason or another. The ones I tend to stay away from are then ones whom are not working as those are around you 24/7 and personally that does not work for me. I am a pretty good person reader and if they seem to be acting like they are someone they are not at the initial interview. They will not be considered . Also those who will not provide a reference



Is It Possible to live in Harmony 3 men and a Lady

See results

We Live like These Three on TV except we are four ,,, Just call me JACKIE lol

Lets Talk About Roommates

Storage of Food and Laundry schedules and etc.

Everyone has there own designated area in the cupboards to call their own as well as Fridge space. However at time like Christmas and other big meal times there is a bar fridge located in the attached sun room that can be used .

As for Laundry the same as showers , they are not scheduled but we ask each other if anyone needs before we take over the bathroom or laundry facilities.

Coats and boots and etc can be stored in closets at front door and each is allowed storage areas in the basement.

In Summary ..

One can never be 100% positive that you have made the right choice when bringing someone new into the house but if one doesn't take risks in their life the you will never know.

Currently we are all fairly happy here and you can feel the calmness in the air even when we are just sitting in a round robin.

As I said before for me its about security of males in the home making it feel safer for me and its about not being lonely unless i chose to go to my room to be alone.


Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)