Being A Blue Print For God
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
It seems like yesterday, but it has been nearly fourteen years since my mother stopped breathing, and when I had to give her CPR. I was praised for saving her life, but I experienced the help, and presence of God, and that is truly , and experience beyond words.
I did experience another place , a place where my mind rested from all the pain in my life. I experienced the love of God, and that can not be described by me in human words.
God was so much like a big brother's arm around my shoulder. God just understood all my tears, and all my pain that seemed like milliniums of torturting demons eating away at my heart . The agony was taken away in a grand, and timeless moment .
The feeling of certain truths simply appeared in my mind so easily, like a flowing stream of knowledge from another essence, from God's intentions, or designs that God desired to be. I since now with all my heart that God is real, and that God can do whatever God wants to do. I just have that feeling, that knowing , that since of truth , and evidence to me.
It just simply appeared in my mind like it was evident, and a fact. In seven to eight weeks my mother would definitely die , and that was the way God must have wanted it to be.
The day before mom died, Joann, and I brought Becky close to my mother. My mother held Becky's hand one last time. My mother had turned her head toward us. She was not able to move, but somehow she turned her head , and held out her arm for Becky.
My heart, my mind, my all, is tired from decades of sadness, and sorrows that only a tired heart could ever experience. I have seen, and experienced so much sorrow, and tears that there are no words for them to be described .
I never stop wheeping when I think of certain things. A war tortured father, a dying mother, suffering people, guns, and violence, a child that never walked, and our broken hearts. I am way past done in my life. Someday my tears will be over, and done when God so decides the final call.
I wish I could have made a better difference, and somehow convinced the world that simple things become too complex . We do not need wars. Love is the answer to it all.
When I went to a spiritual place while my mother was on the floor not breathing, I discovered the awesome beauty of love, and it's profound energy , enough of it to destroy evil, and suffering. Could I have been confused as a mortal soul in a spritual land. Maybe the only perfect place for love is in Heaven. I wonder now if I found that place, or if time is just slowly decaying a beautiful dream. Was it all real, and true, and evident, just like the Bill of Rights . Is there a promised land?
I was told years ago that the Mother of God loves America. I could see why she could feel that way.
God Bless Everyone.