ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Decorating Engineering for Your Manroom (his Bathroom)

Updated on January 23, 2011

Use a Bit of Bathroom Levity

I recently relocated to take another job to a city 150 miles away from the house I called home for twenty years or so. This generated some ‘Decorating Moments’ for me since I am a widower I now have to do all the stuff my Zena used to do. During our nearly twenty four years together, she moved us and redecorated 5 times in the eleven years of our marriage spent in the military; so she was a decorating expert. During that time she managed to gather up some little tidbits of wisdom that I chose to take with me in my new apartment.

I am sharing these with you as a suggestion on how you might find similar items useful in decorating your home. In fact these three are focused on one room in particular and that is the man toilet or ‘Manroom’. Please take notice I did not call it a bathroom. This has nothing to do with baths though I would suppose you could incorporate some of these ideas surrounding the bath, I just have a limited supply of nuggets and this is how I use them.

Bad Posture has kept him there far too long!!
Bad Posture has kept him there far too long!!

Engineering is the Key

First- The Attention Getter

This frame is deployed on the wall next to the toilet at roughly eye level so as you approach the bowl you can’t help but to see it. It is in a document frame and this particular piece was some comedy given me by some of my troops when I was stationed in Nuremberg Germany, it is composed of letters cut out of magazines and newspapers like a ransom note. it says:

John –

You’ve been invited to a Donkey Dinner-

Everyone gets a Free Piece of Ass

Now gals if you know your man you will have already realized the benefit of the last three words. These should generate just enough extension on the old fire hose so that the end extends beyond the width of his fingers and makes it at least marginally aimable. But doesn’t stir enough imagination to require any additional ‘post visit’ physical activity.

Second – Focus

Now this is the one that is a must in any bathroom whether it is shared or not since it greatly reduces cleaning effort and may allow for a successful ‘ring down’ delivery. Stationed just above the bowl at about mid chest height is a small sign that says –

Life is a Game

Golf is Serious

The key element here is he must lower his chin, and view to read the great truth before him thus bringing his attention once again to the business at hand and increasing the accuracy of aim in the execution of the standing delivery procedure. You want to keep this wisdom nugget short though since a longer nugget may serve as a distraction thus defeating its intended purpose.

Third – Contemplation and Assistance

This is the element that will help you gals keep things ‘moving’ along, so several hours of productive Honey Do time will not be lost each week. My ‘Manroom’ only has the toilet and a sink so there are three walls close at hand to the loo. In a larger Bathroom you may not have the luxury of an opposing wall close enough for this to work, but if you mount it at eye level of the nearest side wall it serve you well.

“We have two ends

with a common link

with one we sit

with one we think

Success depends

On what we use

Heads we win

Tails we lose.

-NM -78

Now when you mount a poem like this you should do so at a height that requires your huny to sit up straight. A straight back is critical to allowing gravity to expedite the delivery. If he has to hunch over you lose that effect. The composition of the poem is an aid in itself, as the TH in Think, the CESS in Success, the NDS in Depends, helps generate a solid push. And the mechanics of ‘lose’ is a smooth recovery sort of tone. This should shorten the time by several minutes for each iteration.

If you really want to make it efficient replace any other reading material he may have gathered with stuff like Better Homes and Gardens, or books with Fabios picture on the cover. This may not have the desired effect at the end of the day as after dinner he will probably take the newspaper or whatever else he likes to read in with him.

Any way I hope this has offered a little useful insight into how some small decorating engineering techniques can help produce a more efficient relationship with the one you love. Your huny will appreciate it and he never needs to know you added these little nuggets of wisdom with a purpose. He instead will marvel at your astuteness and good judgment for agreeing with the message imparted in each one.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Hmrjmr1 profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Georgia, USA

      Glad you liked it KC! Thanks for stopping by.

    • Kindacrazy profile image


      7 years ago from Tennessee

      VERY funny!!! Enjoyed, so did the hubby!

    • Hmrjmr1 profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Georgia, USA

      Thanks POP just trying to help.

    • breakfastpop profile image


      7 years ago

      You are a devious and inventive genius. I also think you could do stand up with this hub.Voted up and funny. If I could vote twice it would be voted useful but definitely not beautiful.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)