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Don’t Hold the Mayo, Spread it on these 10 Things

Updated on June 23, 2017

Don’t Hold the Mayo, Spread it on these 10 Things

Your plants! Here’s a professional florist’s secret for making the green leaves, greener and shinier. Dab a bit of mayonnaise on a paper towel and rub it on the leaves, keeping them shiny and bright for a month or more.

Are you plagued by the remains of a Hillary (or Trump) for President sticker? Don’t spend four dollars for expensive goo removers. Never scrape at it with a knife, razor blade, or a chisel. Simply rub the entire surface of the sticker with mayo and let it work for seven to ten minutes to dissolve the glue, after which you’ll easily be able to rub out Trump (or Hillary).

Pretend your hair is a forest of plants and do the same thing to your hair as you can do to your plants – make it shinier and greener (if you have green hair). But seriously folks, you can use Mayo as you would a fine and expensive hair conditioner. Load up your hand with a tablespoon full of mayo and massage it in to your hair. Cover your head, a towel will do, and wait a few minutes. After shampooing, your hair will be moisturized and have a lustrous sheen.

Beat that sap! Is your car suffering from drops of sap, pine pitch and other unwanted droppings from trees? Do the birds make your car a target gallery for their disgusting little bombs? Grab the mayo and spread it on the affected areas. After a few minutes you can take a soft cloth and wipe away all the poop and goop!

Tip Number Five: Remove dead skin from elbows and feet. I knew a person who used to take a sharp kitchen knife and hack away at the dead patches. Often as not she cut off the dead patches along with some live patches. This is not only painful but dangerous. Use mayo instead! Rub it on. Leave it on for ten minutes and then rub away the dead areas with a face cloth or a loofah sponge.

Tickle the Ivories! If the piano keys on your piano or the one at the club, are yellow, put mayo on a cloth and tickle those ivories. Tickling sounds good, but actually you need to apply the mayo, let it sit for several minutes and then wipe off and buff the keys to make them look brand, spanking new!

Spurn the Burn! Sunburn bothering you? Mayo to the rescue. Rub in the mayo on the affected areas and leave it on. You will be moisturized and the pain will be lessened.

Strong Nails! Yes mayo can make your fingernails stronger. Put about an inch of mayo in a dish or a cup and tell your fingers to dive in. Keep them in for five minutes. Wash with warm water and repeat the process every week or two.

Remove crayon marks. Did your kids, Picasso and Michealangelo, decorate your wooden furniture with crayons? Is it a mess? Mayo to the rescue. Slather it on, leave it for several minutes and rub it off!

Tip Number 10. You’ve done enough work. Take one teaspoon of mayo, two slices of bread, three strips of bacon, and four slices of tomato and make a great BLT!


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    • Billrrrr profile image

      Bill Russo 6 months ago from Cape Cod

      Thanks for reading and commenting John.

    • John Brotherton profile image

      John Brotherton 6 months ago from United Kingdom

      What an interesting hub, I would not of thought of these tips, to think all these years I have been wasting it lathering it on me chips! Thank you for sharing.

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 7 months ago from Massachusetts, USA

      Hi Bill. What a great hub! I especially liked the rebuffs/ruboffs of Trump/Hillary. These are all wonderful tips. But I can't help but wonder, if Mayo does all of this, should we be eating it? Good to see you writing on HP, my friend. :-)

    • Fullerman5000 profile image

      Ryan Fuller 8 months ago from Louisiana, USA

      Mayo not just for burgers anymore! I never would have guessed you could use mayo for all these life hacks. Great ideas and thanks for sharing.

    • Billrrrr profile image

      Bill Russo 8 months ago from Cape Cod

      Thanks John. I'm having the same trouble with birds and also an assortment of droppings from pine trees. It's the start of summer here but spring was so rainy I simply ignored the mess. Now that the weather is sunny, I'm going to try the mayo trick myself because even a professional car wash doesn't get the gunk off.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 8 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Hey, Bill, great to see a new article by you at HubPages. I know how busy you have been with your books, TV series etc. thanks for the handy tips for using Mayo. We always have a bottle or two in the pantry in case of visitors but my wife and I rarely use it so these tips are very useful. I wasn't aware of any of them. I really need to go plaster it on the car as the birds have really been making a mess of it lately.