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Fun Facts about Global Worming

Updated on April 12, 2010

Global Worming Fun Facts

The Worldwide Disgusting Factor (WDF) remains elevated due to the proliferation of gross slimy worms. Dare we posit that any aspect of non-arthropod invertebrate creatures can possibly be considered 'fun'? Read on, if you dare.

Can we make a buck with worms?

Global worming provides possibilities for profitability. Numerous articles, blogs, tomes, and get-rich-quick pamphlets explain the business model for raising and selling fishing worms. Let us be clear; we do not suggest that worms may be remotely capable of actually fishing. They have no thumbs. Rather, the worms act as bait. Certainly this activity does not rank high on the worm fun-o-meter, but we all gotta go sometime.

Think Globally, Compost Locally

So sayeth the hungry worm.

Without ravenous red wigglers, compost heaps languish as stinky piles of last weeks chicken wings. Worms eat our garbage and make dirt. Don't think about how, please. It's a win-win scenario for all parties save Big Garbage. which experiences a decrease in curbside pickups along with a commensurate drop in profit.. As they say in the computer programming field; garbage in, garbage out.

Valentines Day Worms?

No no no. Heartworms are not little candies distributed on February 14th. Dirofilaria immitis infests doggies, taking up residence in the left ventricle. Heartworm cases have also been reported in ferrets (no big loss there), sea lions (better than getting clubbed, perhaps), and humans. Prevention may be achieved through chewable tablets administered on a prophylactic basis. Hide the pill in a dead herring; sea lions catch on to your tricks rather quickly.

Almost enough to make us quit trying?

It ain't easy making this stuff up; then along comes a real movie. "The Worm Eaters" chronicles the comings and goings of Herman Umgar, a club-footed German hermit (is there any other kind?) who has the ability to communicate with worms.

Uncle.

It's all fun and games until someone loses a segment

Our last stop on the Global Worming gravy train involves the lowly earthworm. The little buggers regenerate lost segments. While most of us stop looking at worms the same day we notice the opposite sex, famed wormologist G.E. Gates dedicated 20 years of his adult life to studying and chronicling the activities of Perionyx Excavatus E. Perr. as they spontaneously grew new guts. Peruse his lifes' work in the The Biological Bulletin.

Conclusion

If you've made it this far, you evidently posses a high level of interest in global worming. Welcome to the club.

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    • habee profile image

      Holle Abee 8 years ago from Georgia

      global worming - love it!

    • profile image

      purplerose 8 years ago

      hahaha

    • itakins profile image

      itakins 8 years ago from Irl

      Were any worms injured in the making of this hub?

    • billyaustindillon profile image

      billyaustindillon 8 years ago

      Classic hub and title - never think of worms the same next time I go fishing.

    • The Old Firm profile image

      The Old Firm 8 years ago from Waikato/Bay Of Plenty, New Zealand

      Although Al Gore is indubitably correct, the critical question is can the worms spell potato? Or was it tomato? Or was it Al Gore? Or was it an entirely different can of worms??

      Cheers,

      TOF

    • bennett16brewer profile image

      bennett16brewer 8 years ago from New York

      This is a really cool hub *thumbs up*

    • fishtiger58 profile image

      fishtiger58 8 years ago from Momence, Illinois

      I love the lowly night crawler............ when he's on the end of my fishing hook. Great hub made me laugh.

    • nicomp profile image
      Author

      nicomp really 8 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @greatAmerican: So true! I often ask people this question: "what is the temperature of the Earth supposed to be?"

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 8 years ago from south Florida

      nicomp - I salute you.

      You have the uncanny knack of writing an entire hub about a rather distasteful segment of our fauna that I try not to think about on a regular basis, or even at all. Yet I read every word. Remarkable talent!

    • profile image

      partisan patriot 8 years ago

      nicomp

      You’re on to something here; unless we all worship at the altar of Al Gore and follow his precepts and policies all that will be left on this planet is a plethora of worms. Maybe we can learn from them how to bore beneath the earth so as to avoid the unprecedented temperature increase that will most assuredly occur as predicted by Professor Al Gore in his Inconvenient Truth!

    • maven101 profile image

      maven101 8 years ago from Northern Arizona

      Clever and humorous...As the worm turns, another reminder of the mysteries of life on planet Earth...Thanks, Larry

    • greatAmerican profile image

      greatAmerican 8 years ago

      Nicomp, I just scanned this hub, my eyes are tired today,

      I just had to tell the story I found among my emails,,

      'Why should we believe those screaming about Global warning when so many of those experts can't get tomorrows weather report right!'

    • sheila b. profile image

      sheila b. 8 years ago

      Well, not all of the facts sound like fun...

    • Tom Whitworth profile image

      Tom Whitworth 8 years ago from Moundsville, WV

      nicomp,

      You left out my favorite worm and best fish bait!!! I enjoyed hunting night crawlers as much as I enjoyed fishing. Fire up a carbite lantern and catch those quick little buggers!!!!!!!!!!

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