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Great Ways To Get Neighbors To Beat A Path To Your Door

Updated on March 2, 2013
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Crank It Up

There is no better way to announce your presence than by cranking up music, screaming, or talking excessively loud. Loud enough that your neighbors can hear you clearly inside their apartments. Better yet, carry your argument or conversation out to the patio or balcony so that you can share your conversation with neighbors whose apartments face yours. They'd love to hear your voice from every room in their apartment. They'll be at your door in no time to introduce themselves among other things.

Why not stomp on the floors, let your kids run/jump constantly, and bang on the walls...daily. Walk in high heels on your wood floors as if you are on a catwalk, your neighbors downstairs may pound on your door to speak with you. Or if it suits you better, frequently slam the doors in your apartment so hard that the building shakes.

Install a very loud music or home theater system in your apartment so all your neighbors can enjoy your entertainment choices with you. Perhaps sitting in your car in the parking lot and cranking up the music in your car every time there's good weather outside or when you feel like shining up your car is more your speed. Maybe you'll find a gathering of neighbors at your car door just dying to talk to you.

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Get Some Friends

Getting some animal friends might make you the talk of the building in an apartment complex, even in animal friendly apartments. An especially effective way of meeting your neighbors would be to lock your dog out on your small balcony while you go elsewhere. When the dog uses the loo, your neighbor relaxing on their balcony downstairs would not be able to think of much else other than speaking with you the moment they see your face.

Lock your dog up in your apartment all day and night. It will bark incessantly and it might even ruin your shoes and furniture giving you plenty of reasons to go on a shopping spree. If you know your dog goes nuts when you leave do nothing about it. Also, never let it outside for exercise so that it barks constantly and your neighbors will beat a path to your door. If you are the type that thinks your dog needs exercise make sure he's off the leash at all times and allow him to chase people. Do not say a word until the man, woman, or child is down and offer no apologies. They will have many choice words for you, no matter what their age is.

Invite some lively buddies over...regularly. Make sure that your gatherings are quite raucous and ensure you have at least a few people loitering in the hallways/entryways/breezeways on a regular basis. Doing this makes people feel really safe especially when they are otherwise alone in these confined spaces. Your neighbors may beat a path to your door with the landlord and the guys in blue in tow. Surely you can add all of them to your friends list.

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Have Frequent, Preventable Malfunctions

Initiate fire drills to get people to work in some cardio while evacuating their apartments. Heck, with the sprinklers going off they may get a shower at the same time. There is nothing like burning a hole into the side of the apartment building just because you wanted to have some burgers that were cooked outside on a 2 X 2 (okay, it was actually 6 X 7) balcony. Outdoor food is so much better than that which can be cooked in your kitchen or on the grills provided away from the building.

Do everything possible to encourage your heat pump/HVAC system freeze up and whatever you do, don't call maintenance. Leave your apartment and go off for a few hours. Come back home and enjoy the cool puddle of water that your HVAC system is likely now bathing in. Allow this to happen at least 2 or 3 times each year and enjoy your neighbors' (and landlord's) company when your puddles infiltrate other apartments as well.

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When All Else Fails...

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Be respectful and considerate of the fact that you are not the only one in an apartment/condo/townhouse style building. Others might not enjoy the same things that you do. Also, some of your actions & inactions can negatively impact other people whether or not you choose to make yourself aware of this. In fact, you probably could turn some good people against you. At the very worst, they may "forget" to notify you if there's an emergency such as a fire or imminent structure collapse. Stranger (and more spiteful) things have happened. Do unto others...

All of the above situations are a combination of my life experience and that shared with me by family, friends, and coworkers. Most frighteningly, they are ALL true!

© 2012 Express10

After the 50 second mark, you'll see why apartment life can bite

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    • Michele Travis profile image

      Michele Travis 5 years ago from U.S.A. Ohio

      I do remember those days. There was a woman who lived it the apartment above us. She always had high heels. Click, click, click. She was very nice. Just clicking around. We had to move.

    • Express10 profile image
      Author

      H C Palting 5 years ago from East Coast

      My own mom would do this about 2 or 3 days of the week and although the downstairs neighbors hated her for it they'd also give me the evil eye despite me only being there to visit on weekends.

    • Michele Travis profile image

      Michele Travis 5 years ago from U.S.A. Ohio

      Sorry, maybe you were the one they could take the problems out on.

    • Express10 profile image
      Author

      H C Palting 5 years ago from East Coast

      Unfortunately, I figured that out very quickly and tried to make myself scare when I had to visit. They weren't very nice adults to give stare downs to a child like me (at the time).

    • Michele Travis profile image

      Michele Travis 5 years ago from U.S.A. Ohio

      They were serious jerks to stare at a child like that. Idiots. Sorry, but just idiots.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I can so appreciate this hub; talk about the neighbors from hell. A little consideration goes a long way but there are times that consideration is in short supply. Well-written, funny and just a touch of sarcasm which I can appreciate.

    • Express10 profile image
      Author

      H C Palting 5 years ago from East Coast

      Thanks Billybuc, just venting prior to a long awaited move :)

    • Peggy W profile image

      Peggy Woods 5 years ago from Houston, Texas

      After reading the last comment of yours...glad that you will be moving soon. I think that I can even top your story with a true one of ours. We ended up having a couple of prostitutes living next door to our first apt. when we were first married. They had "friends" calling all times of the day and night. We complained but the landlord did nothing. I had to be in the operating room each morning bright and early (as a nurse) and we finally just broke our lease and moved. That turned out to be the apt. from hell. Things greatly improved after that, thank heavens.

    • Express10 profile image
      Author

      H C Palting 5 years ago from East Coast

      That landlord must have been insane. I don't know how anyone could not do anything about that.

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