- Home Improvement
When Drunks Home Intrude and when Dog Forgets to Bark
My Super Doofos Friendly Dog
I knew my dog was born friendly, but didn't realized how SUPER FRIENDLY she is until early Saturday morning when I walk up to two drunk intruders in my living room. Saturday dawn was a comedy of mistaken identity.
My bladder dragged me out of the bedroom and stopped short of the sight of two people kissing in the living room. I thought it was my roommate having a guy over. What with the long dark hair and face unrecognized by my half-awakened eyes and dim light. I had to retreat back to my bedroom because I realized that there was an unknown male in the house and I was in my birthday suit.
My bladder insisted that I put on my sarong and let me have my usual routine. When I was washing my hands, I heard a knock on the bathroom door. Uhm, "What the hell I thought?" " Yeah?!!!," the irritation was apparent in my tone. I opened the bathroom door and this white guy, about 5'4" with one brilliant stud on his right ear was apologizing "Sorry, sorry." I retorted back that "it's early in the morning."
Of course it was, but I was more astonished that I was having this kind of conversation that was unnecessary. I assumed that well, alright, there goes my roommate's discipline. I did not want to interfere, but in my sleepy stupor, I kept muttering that, "uhm, I didn't think that guy would be her type, uhm, that guy is drunk, uhm, Jennifer doesn't drink nor she'll be the type to go party like this." But I just go, "oh well..."
I heard the moaning of sex and the creaking of, I thought was my roommate's bed. An hour passed, and I was trying to get back to sleep but couldn't.
My half-asleep stupor was jolted when the guy opened my door aiming a light on me which I discovered was an ipad. "That's not right."
I got up and quickly put on my clothes to confront this guy. Dallas walked out of the bedroom to check. My dog forgot that she's a dog! She did not bark, nor felt threatened. Dallas just wondered.
Clearly, I could smell the stench of inebriated partying. He said that he was looking for the door out. I heard somebody snoring on the couch so I turned on the light.
To my surprise, there was a snoring girl on my couch. I asked this guy, "who's this?" He said, "oh, she's a friend of hers." I was confused and annoyed, so I went to check on my roommate.
Meanwhile, the guy just took off. When Jennifer emerged from her room and looked at the snoring girl on the couch and asked "who's that?" "I don't know," I said. I tried to wake up the snoring girl, but she was dead drunk.
I called 911. When the police came, snoring girl was still snoring. We found her name in her purse. We also realized that she was naked from the waist down when the cop lifted the comforter.
Meanwhile, the other cop was looking for the male guy who I thought stole my laptop. Thank goodness, my computer wasn't stolen.
Back to half-naked snoring girl. She was so plastered that the cop had to scream at her to wake up. She finally, did and was asked to put back her pants. She staggered to don her pants while we unbelievably could not hide from the sight of her half-nakedness. I guess she's either immodest in the first place, or because she's too drunk to be consciously modest.
My roommate and I did not press charges because there was no violence and theft.
However, the moment seemed surreal to find a couple of drunks making themselves at home by having sex on my sofa, and leaving me with a filthy commode.
This is one hell of a St. Patrick's Day that I did not celebrate.
Today, a new lock was installed, the deadbolt fixed and a nighttime barrier to alert us.
Dallas, the dog, would have to be re-trained to bark at "there's something not right with these people, mommie."
Or, I'll have to hone my instincts and learn to bark.