ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

When Drunks Home Intrude and when Dog Forgets to Bark

Updated on October 11, 2013

My Super Doofos Friendly Dog

I knew my dog was born friendly, but didn't realized how SUPER FRIENDLY she is until early Saturday morning when I walk up to two drunk intruders in my living room. Saturday dawn was a comedy of mistaken identity.

Source

My bladder dragged me out of the bedroom and stopped short of the sight of two people kissing in the living room. I thought it was my roommate having a guy over. What with the long dark hair and face unrecognized by my half-awakened eyes and dim light. I had to retreat back to my bedroom because I realized that there was an unknown male in the house and I was in my birthday suit.

My bladder insisted that I put on my sarong and let me have my usual routine. When I was washing my hands, I heard a knock on the bathroom door. Uhm, "What the hell I thought?" " Yeah?!!!," the irritation was apparent in my tone. I opened the bathroom door and this white guy, about 5'4" with one brilliant stud on his right ear was apologizing "Sorry, sorry." I retorted back that "it's early in the morning."

Of course it was, but I was more astonished that I was having this kind of conversation that was unnecessary. I assumed that well, alright, there goes my roommate's discipline. I did not want to interfere, but in my sleepy stupor, I kept muttering that, "uhm, I didn't think that guy would be her type, uhm, that guy is drunk, uhm, Jennifer doesn't drink nor she'll be the type to go party like this." But I just go, "oh well..."

Docile and Comfy
Docile and Comfy | Source
Source

I heard the moaning of sex and the creaking of, I thought was my roommate's bed. An hour passed, and I was trying to get back to sleep but couldn't.

My half-asleep stupor was jolted when the guy opened my door aiming a light on me which I discovered was an ipad. "That's not right."

I got up and quickly put on my clothes to confront this guy. Dallas walked out of the bedroom to check. My dog forgot that she's a dog! She did not bark, nor felt threatened. Dallas just wondered.

Clearly, I could smell the stench of inebriated partying. He said that he was looking for the door out. I heard somebody snoring on the couch so I turned on the light.

To my surprise, there was a snoring girl on my couch. I asked this guy, "who's this?" He said, "oh, she's a friend of hers." I was confused and annoyed, so I went to check on my roommate.

Meanwhile, the guy just took off. When Jennifer emerged from her room and looked at the snoring girl on the couch and asked "who's that?" "I don't know," I said. I tried to wake up the snoring girl, but she was dead drunk.

I called 911. When the police came, snoring girl was still snoring. We found her name in her purse. We also realized that she was naked from the waist down when the cop lifted the comforter.

Meanwhile, the other cop was looking for the male guy who I thought stole my laptop. Thank goodness, my computer wasn't stolen.

Back to half-naked snoring girl. She was so plastered that the cop had to scream at her to wake up. She finally, did and was asked to put back her pants. She staggered to don her pants while we unbelievably could not hide from the sight of her half-nakedness. I guess she's either immodest in the first place, or because she's too drunk to be consciously modest.

Source

My roommate and I did not press charges because there was no violence and theft.

However, the moment seemed surreal to find a couple of drunks making themselves at home by having sex on my sofa, and leaving me with a filthy commode.

This is one hell of a St. Patrick's Day that I did not celebrate.

Today, a new lock was installed, the deadbolt fixed and a nighttime barrier to alert us.

Dallas, the dog, would have to be re-trained to bark at "there's something not right with these people, mommie."

Or, I'll have to hone my instincts and learn to bark.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • daisynicolas profile image
      Author

      daisynicolas 5 years ago from Alaska

      Yes, I know. All in all my roommate was a good one except the occasional forgetfulness which resulted to this story.

    • MakerBaker profile image

      Mike 5 years ago from Providence, Ri

      I think you roommate forgot to lock the door and did not want to admit it

    • daisynicolas profile image
      Author

      daisynicolas 6 years ago from Alaska

      Thanks for the visit and your speculation is right if the door was really locked.

    • profile image

      Irish Mike 6 years ago

      What a crazy situation! Glad it turned out okay in the end, but if you live in a rented apartment, then maybe she/he was a previous tenant? That would explain how she/he got in? They don't change locks as often as they change tenants and it's probably easy to get keys cut that shouldn't be. Glad everyone's okay, though!

    • daisynicolas profile image
      Author

      daisynicolas 6 years ago from Alaska

      Is that unbelievable that you cannot believe it's true? Or unbelievable because some drunks can get themselves in strange situations. I'm sure that when they sober up, they'll be wondering and trying to fill in the blank times. Since my roommate was the last one to come home, and since she said that she locked the door, then the girl must have either lived in this apt. before, or have known somebody in this apt. There was no force entry and of course, the cops insisted that we forgot to lock the door.

    • daisynicolas profile image
      Author

      daisynicolas 6 years ago from Alaska

      Thank you. You gotta laugh at these things because it's unbelievably hilarious.

    • Lilleyth profile image

      Suzanne Sheffield 6 years ago from Mid-Atlantic

      How did they get in? Unbelievable.

    • Shinkicker profile image

      Shinkicker 6 years ago from Scotland

      Great read Daisy. I like the way you find humour in a difficult situation.

      Nice dog. Can't imagine her barking at anybody :-)

      Cheers, voted up

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)