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How to cope: From living alone to a full household

Updated on December 8, 2013

From Living alone to Living with many

How does one cope when being thrown into a living situation that one has never encountered for at least the last 25 years? Due to extraordinary circumstances I have been forced to downsize and move into a friends basement for the next year or so. Due to increased rents and huge debts I can no longer live on my own unless of course it's a cardboard box on the street, which didn't seem appealing. So a friend of mine offered to rent me his basement apartment for a very reasonable rate but the drawback is 3 roommates upstairs and 3 dogs plus my friend and his girlfriend occasionally.

The whole situation is a bit overwhelming to say the least. I had to fit a 2 bedroom apartment into one room. So I have been down sizing for the last few months before the move but I have accumulated a lot of things in the last 25 years. It is very difficult to sort through what I need and what can be given away. My head is spinning at the moment. It's a lot to take in.

The good thing is that I will save at least $600 a month so I can pay down some bills and the 3 roommates up stairs are gone by 7:30 am giving me a bit of space in the morning. The downside is that in the evenings this one roommate finds the need to unload all her problems on me and last night I just slowly walked down to my living space and said good night and shut the door. I hope she gets the message that I am not interested in all her problems of the day and that I have enough on my plate as it is. I can't take on anyone else's problems at the moment. Seeing as I listen to every ones problems all day I don't want to come home and listen to more.

I need my personal ,private space. I told that to my friend before I moved in. The other 2 roommates are so busy in their own lives that I never see them so that's wonderful. Another wonderful plus is a free gym membership it's part of the association fees that my friend pays as a home owner and they are open from 5am to 10 pm. I just had to go to the DMV and change my license address to the new one as the club wouldn't accept just putting the address on the back of my license which is the norm. Oh well a small price to pay for the use of the gym and spa area, which I love the best . The jacuzzi and steam and swimming pool are wonderful stress relievers.

So the key things for me to cope with this huge transition from living alone to living with many is that I am saving a lot of money and that I create healthy boundaries and protect my space, privacy and sanity. If anyone crosses those lines I will just bring it up with my friend and he'll deal with it as he knows them well or I will just confront them myself. I am trying to stay as neutral and positive as I can,knowing it will only be for the next year .

I will be moving yet again in the next year to help my parents out in the aging process and all the ailments that entails. That is one huge reason why I need to save as much as possible in the next year and why I am tolerating this whole new and interesting living situation. Knowing that it is just a temporary thing and that my alternatives are less than pleasant. I am doing the best I can with the hand that I've been dealt in my life so far.

I do feel blessed that I had a friend to offer me such a situation as I know there are many others that have nowhere to turn other than shelters or the streets. So I do feel very blessed indeed. There are a lot of others worse off than me.

So ways of coping from living alone to living with many:

1.Count your blessings that you have a roof over your head.

2. Several to share the monthly bills with.

3. Several to share daily chores with.

4. Extremely Reasonable rent

5. Free laundry *(instead of paying the Laundromat)*

6. Free gym membership *(instead of paying monthly for 24 hr. fitness or other gym)*

7. Making personal boundaries for yourself so you feel safe.

For any of you out there that have had to deal with similar situations hang in there. I'd love to hear any of your stories of living with a full household of strangers,sharing laundry facilities,bathrooms/showers,refrigerator and kitchen space with.


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