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More Little Poems Here And There.

Updated on February 23, 2012

THE BOWL OF TUNA FOR PETUNIA :

Was served to my girl named Petunia,

that kissed me a million times in Lugoooonia.

For a dollar a day,

we rented some hay.

Where we made love all night in a barn,

while eating sweet corn.

when my mule got mad,

and downright sad,

when my Petunia left me,

for a clown that drank tea,

and lived at a circus,

that loved to play,

in the hay,

with his monkey BB .



--------------

MINUTE MAN :

Cooks soup when he can,

as fast as he can in a frying pan.

------------------

BUMPY DUMPY NO GOOD MACK :

Never came back,

to pull the slack,

to help wife back

in a shotgun shack,

with the little boys, and girls ,

that wore sweet curls,

that needed good care ,

like gingerbread bears.

____________

PARTNERS IN CRIME :

Had not a near dime,

to share in their prison,

while doing their time.

____________

LAZY HOT DOG JACK :

Was a live in dude,

that never worked a lick,

or would pick up a stick,

or even a brick.

He ate up the mustard,

And put none back,

Ate up the ketchup,

And put none back,

Ate up the wieners,

And put none back,

Drank all the milk,

And the baby cried,

And he put none back.

Ate up the mayonnaise ,

And put none back,

Ate up the pickles,

And put none back,

Ate up the relish,

And put none back,

until Suzy kicked that lazy old boozy ,

Right in his Caboose E,

And he was never ever allowed back,

In The Family One Hundred Dollar Shotgun Shack.

___________


BUMP ON A LOG :

Was my pretty frog,

which I dressed up,

to eat strawberries from my tea cup.

_____________

PORCUPINE BILL :

Slap my girl Jill,

for whom he sassed,

then I kicked that old gas .

right on some sassafras .

----------------

THE HAMBURGER BUN :

Was so much fun,

when I piled on the meat,

and bit it real deep,

but I bit my tongue,

and screamed like a bum.

---------------

ROTTEN TOMATOES :

Were slung at me,

from my Sweet Pea,

when she saw me,

kiss Marie,

under the china ball tree.

---------------

FLAP JACK :

want give me my money back,

for that old nag,

DAT could pull no plow,

because it don't know how,

so I married the mule,

and had baby jack asses,

worth lots of money,

that played football,

and threw great passes.

----------------

THE BURDEN OF LOVE :

Falls on my sad heart still,

for my lover I cried,

before I killed old Bill.

-----------------

BUNDLE A JOY :

was our sweet baby,

that we had together,

when we slapped leather,

in our little row boat,

that was a float,

as we made love,

when she wore a white glove,

to drink champagne,

as we made more love,

till we wore ourselves out,

then scat on home,

and made more and more love,

in our great big bath tub.

----------------------

KILLER BEES :

stung my ass red,

while my wife Sophie,

put up the grocery.

-----------

CHOCOLATE MILK :

taste like silk,

as it run down my tummy,

and tasted so yummy.

--------------------

DON'T SHOOT MY DOG !

Don't hurt my dog,

don't touch my dog,

don't kiss my dog,

don't flirt with my dog,

don't sleep with my dog,

don't pet my dog,

don't whoop my dog,

don't lay a hand on my dog,

don't even cook for my dog, or even tell my dog stories,

don't play with my dog,

don't hit my dog,

don't kick my dog,

don't cus at my dog,

just leave my dog alone, and leave it be,

because that's my dog, you frog !

______________

MINNOWS IN A POT :

Mama yelled at me,

for using that pot,

to catch minnows,

so I could go,

out to go fish,

for large cat fish,

that we could all eat,

from her pretty dish,

that mama hid away,

from kids like me,

that wouldn't go out, and play.

----------------------

MILITARY BOOTS :

Belonged to my daddy,

who did got shot dead,

holding in his arms,

his old pal Fred.

Daddy, and Fred,

got shot up so much,

with so much lead,

that it was pitiful,

they all said.

-------------------

POTATO SOUP :

tastes pretty great,

in a poor man's boot,

when there is nothing else,

for a poor man's soup.

__________


RED BEANS WITH A FORK :

is hard to eat,

but want be beat,

even with a stick that's neat.

__________

FLATFOOT SAM :

flunked the army,

and sneaked himself,

in our kitchen,

to steal mama's jam.

Mama got mad,

then slugged old Sam,

and cracked his head ,

with a rusty frying pan.

When they buried old Sam,

even the preacher was banned,

from talking about jam,

before they lowered old Sam,

deep in his grave,

with mama's rusty pan,

by the muddy old sand.

------------

KILLER JAM :

Sneaked up behind my peanut butter,

and cracked it in the head,

in our strawberry shed,

while jumping in a sandwich,

for old grandma,

who planted her flowers,

after taking her showers,

cuzz old grandpa,

was a nasty old bugger,

that sweat like old Sam,

the traveling salesman,

who was the banana man.




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    • stars439 profile imageAUTHOR

      stars439 

      6 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

      Dear Movie Master : Thank you so much precious heart for visiting, as it is a wonderful joy. God Bless You, and everyone you cherish so dear.

    • stars439 profile imageAUTHOR

      stars439 

      6 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

      Dear Phoenix : Thank you my precious darling heart for visiting. I am forever happy to see you, and appreciate your wonderful thoughts. Wishing you, and Gary, and your dear family forever our love, and never ending best wishes precious heart.

    • stars439 profile imageAUTHOR

      stars439 

      6 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

      Dear Eiddwen : Thank you much dear heart. You make me feel so good . You are the joy of the golden lights in our hearts precious darling.Our sweet Lord walks with you in the here, and now precious heart.

    • Movie Master profile image

      Movie Master 

      6 years ago from United Kingdom

      Thank you stars, this is so much fun!

      I loved them all, but 'Rotton Tomatoes' was my favourite!

      Have a great weekend, voting up and best wishes Lesley

    • Poohgranma profile image

      Poohgranma 

      6 years ago from On the edge

      There goes that amazing imagination of your again, this time in rhyme! What fun.

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 

      6 years ago from Wales

      Oh stars how I loved this one;when reading the fourth I thiught to myself 'Oh this is my favourite !!' Then I read the next one and that one was until the very end and I had to admit they were all brilliant!! Unique,so funny and also very clever!!

      up up and away here.

      Take care my friend and enjoy your weekend.

      Eddy.

    • stars439 profile imageAUTHOR

      stars439 

      6 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

      Dear Gloshei : Thank you for passing by. And glad you enjoyed the hub. God Bless You Precious Heart.

    • Gloshei profile image

      Gloria 

      6 years ago from France

      Lovely hub and fun to read. Great pictures as well stars thanks again you made my day.

      Love to you all.

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