My Heart And I
September 19, 2015.
This wayward heart in my chest goes nuts, and fools with me. This hub may be strange, but rings of truth. I may decide to delete it later because it reflects too much of my vulnerabilities. In other words I am a cry baby.
I am reminded that I am screwed up vulnerable, and could drop dead at any time. My doctors told me that I have good reasons , for my acute anxiety because my heart beats all over the place. This has been one of those reminder days where my heart tells me that it is in charge of me.
Like a free agent, this part of myself does as it pleases, like today, as I breathe with miserable agonizing difficulty as I wheeze my way to oblivion like a staggered drugged up beast from the volcanic bowels, and dreary dungeons of hell.
It is like daylight, and dark, my existence. I am not fighting , for anything, not my life, as God is probably aware, and in charge of when my time must come to join the masses of once lived bones. The thousands of years that quietly still the nights with sleeping cadavers of trillions of once lived organisms.
Oh I wonder what it will be like when the transition arrives. There are a few opinions based on speculations. I feel better now because my rescue inhaler has kicked in my breathing abilities again. I felt like crying, and dying like a sniveling coward only two minutes ago. Now I feel like jumping on my riding lawn mower to do wheelies, or pop it's clutch.
Two hundred puffs in one inhaling device are my tickets to existence from Pro Air. Soon it will be time , for my Spiriva , my daily maintenance inhaler as well. The elephant is off my chest , for now. I love elephants so if one crushes the malarkey out of me someday I will be happy that I got killed by friendly fire. Personally I would like to have a elephant , and a piece of Africa , for it to raise a family. Becky would giggle over feeding one some ears of corn.
My life is a little different, but I still like to work. I love Joann, and Becky. I like to write. I like myself in general. There is nothing wrong with liking you're self. Why do you have to feel guilty about loving you're self. Simply getting the record straight. I would rather talk about myself than of Donald Trump, or of great movie stars. Don't get me wrong. I like movie stars, and politicians , but no one can be compared to the greatness of you.
God said that we are like Gods. We were made by God. We are unique , and gifted as human beings. Always be proud of you're self, and if anyone ever calls you a self centered narcistic person, then tell that individual to kiss the sky blue moon .
Some people do not care if you live, or die as long as they feel good. I never asked anyone to cry over me. I saved lives as either a police officer, or a security officer when I was young, and I was never afraid of danger. I am pleased with my past, and feel ready , for eternity. I do hope there is a Heaven so that I can at least email my deceased friends just in case there is no vacancy , for me in Heaven..