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The Expert Cleaner Limericks

Updated on August 30, 2014

The "Expert Cleaner" Limericks

There once was a cleaning expert,

who junked it all as "loose dirt."

She charged by the hour,

with a face so sour,

hiding valuables under her skirt.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The gal you hired to clean up

With eyes like a blameless pup,

had her eyes on your things,

such as diamonds and rings.

What you treasure you'd better lock up.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

She did a great job;

took her loot to the mob.

and stayed just to count out her pay.

"But my place is spotless!" you say.

"Not a toothpick out of place, or a swab."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Clean as a hound's tooth."

Unlike the Bible's Ruth,

Whither she goest,

thou'd best not knowest.

Find your stuff at the nearest pawn booth.

For Cautions On Choosing Expert Help....

Limericks are intended to be funny, and just as long as You haven't been ripped off by someone you hired to "tidy up," the limericks here can be enjoyable, just as they are intended to be (and in sequence no less!)

If you have never had a stranger or two do some cleaning for you, you are either efficient, on a tight budget, have those rare children and spouse who pitch in and do their share, or you are always exhausted.

There is, of course, the outside chance that you long ago simplified your life and have no "things" to dust, leave your shoes at the door, and are gone all day to some place more interesting.

Be that as it may, hiring someone to do some cleaning requires some serious thought and a few steps which can save you a lot of grief.

This link:

will get you off to a good start on a safer path when looking for that Mary Poppins with a feather duster.

By the way, these limericks were written before that article, and when they became "lost" in "computer etherland," I made an attempt to write down the first limerick from memory and settle for a cautionary article on "Cleaning The Casa."

See which version, the original limerick here, or the replacement limerick there, you like best.


Copyright 2014 Demas W. Jasper All rights reserved.


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    • Perspycacious profile image

      Demas W Jasper 3 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      Thanks for stopping by here, out of all the choices you could have chosen.

      I'm hoping to stop by your Hubs soon.