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Out Of My Hat Ideas. Life Requires Maintenance

Updated on April 15, 2011
Our Sweet Darling Blacky. GBY
Our Sweet Darling Blacky. GBY

Out Of My Hat Ideas. Life Requires Maintenance

Thursday, October 14, 2010.


Life requires attention. It is like a car engine that needs lubrication in order to keep running smooth. Here are some thoughts that pop into my ever loving older mind that may or may not make total since , and I rarely, ever do much research on anything. I enjoy being entertained by my own mind, and reaping thoughts. In other words, sometimes I do, and sometimes I do not know what I am talking about. All I can say is that Teddy Roosevelt said that if he could be right fifty percent of his life he would be a happy man. I guess I would be happy to if I could be so fortunate.

. Time really is money. Instead of poking around watching some silly stuff on television that might be boring, just take a stroll outside and plant a tomato seed. Maybe a plant will grow, and little tomatoes will grow on the plant, and in a few months you will have tomatoes you can put in your refrigerator to add more delight to your sandwiches, or salads.

. Exercise is like a piggy bank. For every little one you do, you burn a calorie or more I imagine. Exercise makes you healthy in most cases.

. Give yourself a raise. Pay a little more on your credit cards and watch the interest you have to drag out of your drawers become less. Less money out of your underwear means more money you can use for your baby's college savings.

. Look for sales when you go shopping. Sales are like Easter egg hunting. Zip on down the isles. The sales stick out like sore thumbs. Well look! Tuna is on sale. You do not need tuna today. Maybe next week you might want a tuna sandwich. Buy it, save it, squirrel it away in your little cabinet and slam the door. Near the end of the month when all there is to eat is and empty corn flakes box, open the tuna. Look in a drawer for that end slice of stale five day old bread. Spread the tuna on the bread.Say a little prayer. Taste it. Wash the tuna down your throat with ice tea. Yummy Yum Yum ! You ate today, and boy was that good :)

. Sales are fun. Buy five of those boxes of margarine for fifty cents each. Buy six or seven of those packs of salami for one dollar each. Squirrel them away in your freezer. Ten more days left in the month. This means a pack of salami a day, tea, and buttered crackers with your cheap margarine. You made it like Rocky Balboa and knocked out the month of hunger and starvation, and the folks in the house had food in the cabinet, and your a hero :)

. Life is work. Bend down and pick up that banana peel. Do not wait for the wife to start screaming and saying, " Why Lord do I have to be the only one to pick up trash around the house. Someone could trip, break a neck, land in a hospital, and we could be ruined by a law suit." She is right! Bend down, listen to your bones crack as you struggle to pick up that stinking banana peel as you split your pants revealing the crack in your butt :)

. One very important item you must have in life is a car. Take care of it. Check and have the oil changed. Check tires. Check coolant. Keep it clean. Make sure it has good breaks and is safe on the highway.

. Sell JUNK !!!! Stuff that you do not need, sell it. Get it out of your way. It will be less junk you will have to keep clean. Whatever money you get for it, use it for something constructive or productive. Use the money for marriage maintenance. Buy your sweet darling some chocolate candy and roses. She will love you that much more. Get rid of the junk. Or go buy her something nice anyway if you cannot sell the junk, or even give it away.

. Monthly bills add up. Figure out where you can cut back on things you really do not need, or where you can buy for less. The less money that comes out of your pocket on expenses, the more you have for food, and clothes.

. Buy clothes that are practical and useful. Buy clothes that are comfortable because your going too wear only comfortable stuff anyway.

. Polish your shoes. Men look nicer with polished shoes. Wear nice shoes in nice places. Many people judge you by the shoes you wear.

. If you have children, think of them and your loved ones before someone talks you into losing money. Before you make silly mistakes, think of your family, and what it takes to put milk and bread in the house. Do not steal, cheat, con, gamble your pay check away, do not drink up your pay check on booze. Every time you take a bite to eat, or think of squandering money in a wasteful way, think of your family. Easy money is usually baloney. Remember it !

. Trust is a wonderful thing, but business is business so remember it.

. Do not read out credit card numbers on a cordless phone. I did that once and someone tried to use my credit card. Someone tried to charge eighteen hundred dollars worth of everything they could think of on my account. Fortunately I did not have that much credit. In fact I had very little available credit at the time. Anyway, do not read out loud the numbers to businesses or anyone. Usually I pay for things by pressing buttons , or by talking to verified individuals that I double check. Identity theft is a painful, miserable feeling if you lose money because of it. Money is hard to come by. This is why con artists want it so bad. Talk to your credit card people. Tell bankers or customer service representatives that you absolutely do not want to be approved for a single cent that goes beyond your available cash. If you can, get rid of credit cards period.

. The theft attempt was a failure. The possible sources and whereabouts of the possible thieves were left to investigators for fraud research and activities. I mentioned that I welcomed any help from the FBI or law enforcement authorities. Official took note of that.

. Normally I never talk about criminals I do not like, but I will say that I do not like thieves. Thieves will con you, use you, steal from you when you are sick, old, ill, and if your and invalid. Thieves are much like hyenas of the human species.

They will steal for dope, drugs, or burglarize your home, your car, anything you own. All thefts should be reported no matter what.

A thief will lie, cheat, or hurt you to get what a thief wants to steal. Everything that is supposed to be locked should be locked. If you go on a vacation, find someone or family, or someone you can trust to check up on your property and home.

Do not leave temptations around your home for thieves to take advantage of you. Because I am elderly, and because I was sick and tired I left a brand new reciprocating saw on my porch for some dirty skunk to steal. Like the dirty creature it was, it stole my saw. I should have recorded the serial numbers of the item. I should have saved them. I should not have left something for anyone to steal easily on our porch that has access to visitors.

If you really need something from me, just ask me for it, and I will find a way to help if I can, but don't steal from me, or from my family, or from the bread or butter that belongs to my family. I proved in my life that I would die for total strangers as a cop, but so help me Jesus Christ , no matter how old I am, if I ever get my hands on a thief, it will be handcuffed with my handcuffs and brought to jail.

In my life I have captured thieves before. I have marched them to the police and they went to court. I testified, and they went straight to jail. I caught a business contractor in a refinery. I studied him close until one day he said, "How are you doing pal ?" I said , "I reckon I am a doing O.K. Would you mind facing your pick up truck so I could put your hands behind your back?" He asked me what was wrong. I told him he was under arrest for theft of merchandise from the oil refinery. I read him his rights and security officers brought him too the local police to be booked. He had a good job, but he got greedy, and he went to jail.

I helped put a lot of skunks in jail. Some went to prisons for selling Heroine. I was just a kid when I helped the cops nail nearly twenty heroin dealers.

I once ran after a man on foot for over five hundred yards until I grabbed him, wrestled him to the ground in a dirty drainage ditch. He was bigger than me, probably stronger than me, and could fight better than me. I did not want to lose the big guy. Somehow I had to hold him down on the ground until the city police would arrive. I really did not want to use my legs to do it , but I wrapped my legs around him on the ground , and he could not move. A force of squad cars pulled up with deputies and law men to assist me. That was a promotion for me, and a twenty five cent raise per hour on my pay check.

Once I wrestled a thief to the ground and five city police officers jumped on top of me and the thief. I was at the bottom of the pile with the thief in my grasp and could not walk for a week because of three cracked ribs.

There is nothing like a good run, and a great leap of faith to catch a thief. It is exciting, a little dangerous, and a real thrill.


God Bless Everyone.




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    • stars439 profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

      Dear hubpageswriter : Thank you for the kind words. Your work in your hubs are a measure of your fine qualities, good ethical atributes, and they inspire us to seek the qualities in ourselves. Your work is usually productive oriented and reflects much on your positive, sincere, honest qualities. You provide good logical helpful advice to help folks solve problems in many different ways. You address complex and brilliant ideas and discuss them very well. GBY. Thank you again.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      You're a really good person. The tiny things are what make it big and glorious. A little bit here and there sure goes a long way. Picking up the trash at home before others do goes a long way. This hub is real inspiring and it reminds us to focus on the real deal in life for a more happy journey.

    • stars439 profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

      Dear Lady E : Thank you for your sweet kind thoughts. You are precious and wonderful in my heart always. God Bless You Dear Heart.

    • Lady_E profile image


      8 years ago from London, UK

      Hi, Lots of great tips/advice in there... and put together in a funny way. I enjoyed the read. How dare they use your Credit card.... I'm glad the attempt was a failure.

      May God continue to watch over you and your lovely family. Enjoy the weekend. :)

    • stars439 profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

      Dear bayoulady : Thank you Dear Heart. I appreciate your visit. Our Louisiana weather is getting a little nicer. Hope your feeling well. God Bless You Dearest Heart. Thanksgiving is comming soon, and that means cooking delicious turkey and stuff.

    • bayoulady profile image


      8 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA

      Wow. Surely "off the top of your head" like you said. Nice,though. Like sitting under a shade tree sippin' iced tea and chewing the fat with each other. ALSO....You've got the makings of two good hubs hereif you divided it and made two.(1) Frugal Living Tips (2)A Police Officer's Memories of Keeping the Peace .............Huh?

    • stars439 profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

      Dear Hello hello : Thank you for reading this hub. I may have to edit it a little more. God Bless You Dear Heart.

    • Hello, hello, profile image

      Hello, hello, 

      8 years ago from London, UK

      I enjoyed reading this hub which contained a lot of good points. Thank you.


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