Random Short Poems. God Bless Our Beautiful America.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
HONEY : Poem.
Honey ain't funny,
honey means money,
Honey is great for birds and bees and bears,
and for puppy dog stares,
and for people on rocking chairs.
VAMPIRES : Poem
They love to drink you,
What can I say.
So pass the potatoes,
and jump in the hay,
for a stay.
CANNIBALE STEW : Poem.
because it is aunt Dot.
Ahh, I was hoping it was not .
THE POLITICAL FIEND: Poem.
I had one once
down a street .
I want forget that day
because I knew him right away.
He was weird running and lusting after me.
He wanted my vote, and for me to drink some tea.
But I tripped him with my high heel shoes,
and so he got the blues.
THE TRICKY OLD BUZZARD : Poem.
I was just the sweetest little nurse,
with a very cute little purse.
When Mr. Mooney
that I dropped my little purse.
So I turned around.
to bend down,
which made me feel so profound,
that I began to jump up and down.
which also gave me and awful frown.
Yep, that twas Mr. Mooney alright,
that naughty tricky buffoon knee.
THE SARCASTIC CARPENTER : Poem.
It was my walking cane that broke.
So I took It to a carpenter.
He told me he couldn't fix it.
So I asked what was the matter,
but all he gave was chatter.
So I left abruptly
because he didn't matter.
TUNA IN MY RULER : Poem.
Whoever used my ruler,
put tuna on my ruler.
Must have been my wife Joann,
who might not have had a plan,
and grabbed my ruler instead of a spoon ,
to feed the cats some tuna.
Don't know why she used my ruler,
which sure did smell like tuna.
Because I had intended to use it for my spam,
from a can.
MACCARONI AND CHISELS : Poem.
I went to dinner one day.
I looked in my plate,
and saw chisels and maccaroni.
I called the waiter,
who didn't arrive til later.
I screamed , " Hey nut , there is chisels in my macaroni."
He said, " Well take them out you fool, if you eat dim chisels you'll break your teeth, and that's my golden rule."
I yelled back , " Well I've got to go cuzz of what you've got the nerve to serve. because you folks have obviously lost all your brains around a curve."
THE CRISCO KID : Poem
Look up into the kitchen !
Up in the air !
In your hair !
It tis not a mixer nor a spoon !
It tis the Crisco kid !
Faster than a pancake !
More powerful than home made bread !
It's the Crisco Kid, coolest biscuit creator in town !
And he never lost a pound !
And still as fat as a brat !