Superficiality is all around us. When you turn on the TV your bombarded with sexy Victoria Secret ads and other ads with attractive men and women portraying how life should be like. Shows like Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, New Jersey, and Orange County portray rich wives dressing to the max every single day all dolled up. Celebrity pictures are in every magazine on how much work they have had done or are going to do. Everyone is trying to look young and gorgeous forever. Young women and men are getting messages hammered into their heads from a young age on how to look, what to be like, what to drive, what to buy, how to dress, and how much money to make. And if you don't have these things? You are not good enough. Not the status quo. Not cool. Not popular. Not beautiful.
What is this really telling everyone what they should be focusing on? How they look and how much money they make. Is it normal? Is it okay?
When I was twelve years old, I developed an eating disorder to try and "be perfect". What society believes is perfect. I achieved my goal, but what came with that level of perfectionism was too much on my twelve year old body and soul and I went into a deep depression. I remember constantly looking in the mirror comparing myself to the models that they advertised in magazines like Vogue, Harper's Bazaar, and others. I would watch MTV and want to look like Cindy Crawford on House of Style. All of the boys loved Cindy and her Pepsi commercial. Then came Pamela Anderson on Baywatch. The never ending slow scenes on that show of Pam running around in her red one piece oiling up tanning lotion while working out was too much to compare myself to at twelve and thirteen years old.
Watching all of these images made me believe that by having beauty I could have anything I want. Fame, money, boyfriends giving me whatever I want... even love. So, I strived for that perfection, that image, thinking that was the result I would receive. What happened was a lot of heartache and insecurity. Only when I found my true self through finding out who I was did I find happiness. Finally I said to myself one day, WHO CARES WHAT ANYBODY ELSE THINKS! That's when my life began. When I found my inner beauty and love for myself I knew that it didn't matter. I found my own spirituality, not the one forced on me through years and years of what private Catholic schools forced on teaching me.
On Christmas, my brother and I had an interesting conversation about women and beauty. He is going to law school right now and had an internship with a married womanizing lawyer who checks out anything with a pair of boobs and a vagina. This man told my brother that he feels sorry for women over the age of 35 because that's when they lose their looks. As he told me this I had a lot of emotions running through me. First, shock, anger, then insecurity, worry, fear, resentment, sadness, and then more anger. How dare this man see women this way and have this outlook on women? Women are #1 worth more than their looks, #2 that it's total BS that they are unattractive after the age of 35. Then I thought this was coming from an overweight unattractive older man. Then I wondered do all men think this way?
An artist I used to know who was the biggest womanizing man on earth said something similar to me before. He, being 46 at the time told me that once a woman turns 30 she becomes a "ball buster". He would paint tons of young 20 year old models and tried to sleep with all of them. He had a failed marriage before and was broke, lonely, and corrupt at 46. Who knows where he is today.
What I want to know is how many men think this way? Is life screwed for women after the age of 35 in the looks and desirability department? Are we teaching little girls to be perfect models for men's needs from a young age to the point where they starve and care only about their looks until they hit 35 and then it's all downhill from there?