ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Sweetie Pie And Pumpkin Brains . For Mature Audiences.

Updated on December 4, 2011

Saturday, December 4, 2011

Life can be the pits when age crawls on ya. Maybe this hub could be considered a drama comedy, but I would like to say it is simply for older adult mature audiences so if your between the ages of twenty one , and fifty , you may want older adult supervision because it may be a wee bit UN exactly sociably kosher.

Pumpkin Brains retired from the railroad too many years ago to remember. His job was to pound a lot of railroad spikes on a lot of tracks for a lot of years. Pumpkin Brains split a lot of drawers, and britches doing his work. His wife Sweetie Pie sewed up many a pairs of drawers, and britches for her man to keep him looking decent.

Sweetie Pie raised many young ins. She knew what it was like to change cloth diapers with bold colored bobby pins from morning til night.

Come Monday morning Pumpkin Brains has a medical appointment. For Pumpkin he will prepare himself hours before he sets out to walk to his car with his two walking canes. It will take him a long time to get from his house to the car, and he will not be taking his fluid pill or he will have to pee to often, and sometimes he just want make it to the toilet before wetting his britches.

Pumpkin Head loves to cuss and raise hell if he happens to wet his drawers, and britches. Sweetie Pie is getting very disgusted with him because he also aggravates her for sex sometimes, and Sweetie Pie makes Pumpkin Brains awfully mad when she tells him, " The last time you tried to have sex you could not do it. What in the hell makes you think you can have sex now ? "

There is always a war between Sweetie Pie, and Pumpkin Brains over the subject of sex. " You simply just don't give a care what you say to me, and how do you know if I can't have sex anymore , or as of lately ? I feel pretty darn healthy, and I think I could be pretty good at it if you would just take off your pink panties , an be nice enough to want to give me something very special . I think it has been about a year since we have even tried to have sex. I also do not wish to live the rest of my life without at least trying more often to have a sexual life, " said Pumpkin Brains.

Sweetie Pie does not pay much attention to him. Sometimes he screams for attention. Sweetie Pie tells him anything to shut his mouth. She even says, " If you can find another woman that will give you what you want then go get it. "

Pumpkin Brains says, " The way you talk sounds awful, and disgusting. And I do not think I care to have anything to do with you ever again. "

It is four hours before his medical appointment. Should Pumpkin Brains drink coffee or not ? He likes to eat something good for breakfast so that he can use the bathroom right.

Pumpkin Brains finally makes it to the bathroom. He has been in there for a while , and has used a heck of a lot of cleaning materials because he likes to have a super clean body just in case his doctor needs him to drop his pants in order to check his privates .

The bathroom becomes a ritual that could last a long time, and then something horribly embarrassing enters his mind. Pumpkin Brains is not sure he is perfectly clean so he asks Sweetie Pie to help him. " For goodness sake Sweetie can you please do me a favor precious sugar dumpling, can you check me back there to see if I am clean enough for the doctor to examine me ? "

Sweetie Pie says, " It is no big deal, and give me a clean wet rag, and bend over. Yeah , your butt looks just fine, and you look clean in the back, but I will wipe you again if it makes you feel better. You think I never checked a butt before ?

Sweetie Pie passes the rag over Pumpkin Brains behind, and he says , " Wow , take it easy back there are you will rub my you know whats clean off. Be gentle back there because my butt is raw from eating spicy Cajun food."

Sweetie Pie says, " How many times have I told you to lay off the red hot pepper because all you do is to burn up your butt."

Finally all is well , and both Sugar Pie, And Pumpkin Brains are going to the family car. Sugar Pie gets to the car faster as Pumpkin takes his time raising hell as he walks to the car. " I hate to go to the damn doctor again. I go to often."

Sweetie Pie says, " If you want you medicine, and your prescriptions you have to see the doctor. You can not cancel and appointment again, or he will quit seeing you, or get very upset. "

Pumpkin Brains says, " It is just plain ridiculous. More blood tests, and those things are not cheap. Thank God for a charity hospital otherwise I could not afford to stay alive with the high cost of medical care. I guess people that have money have insurance."

Sweetie Pie says, " We need to pick up medicine, and cat litter when we get out of the doctor's office."

After a long day is over , Sweetie, and Pumpkin finally get home. Pumpkin takes off all of his clothes down to his underwear so that he feels comfortable with his slip on shoes. Sweetie makes some coffee , and Pumpkin makes some good old biscuits, and feeds a lot of cats.

Sweetie settles down to watch television. She likes to watch Judge Judy on small claims court. Pumpkin heads straight to his bedroom after breakfast to watch his favorite Westerns.

Pumpkin likes Paladin, Gun-smoke, Maverick, Lawman, Rawhide and all the classic westerns.

God Bless Everyone.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • stars439 profile image

      stars439 6 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

      Dear gloshei : Thank you for writing. I am glad you liked it. The story is about things that folks have to deal with that are not so pleasant. God Bless You, and thanks again.

    • profile image

      gloshei 6 years ago

      Brilliant as usual. Where do you get these stories from?

      I would dearly love to meet you all with a sense of humour like that we would get on fine.

      Keep it up stars439 I love them.