ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Sweetie Pie And Pumpkin Brains . For Mature Audiences.

Updated on December 4, 2011

Saturday, December 4, 2011

Life can be the pits when age crawls on ya. Maybe this hub could be considered a drama comedy, but I would like to say it is simply for older adult mature audiences so if your between the ages of twenty one , and fifty , you may want older adult supervision because it may be a wee bit UN exactly sociably kosher.

Pumpkin Brains retired from the railroad too many years ago to remember. His job was to pound a lot of railroad spikes on a lot of tracks for a lot of years. Pumpkin Brains split a lot of drawers, and britches doing his work. His wife Sweetie Pie sewed up many a pairs of drawers, and britches for her man to keep him looking decent.

Sweetie Pie raised many young ins. She knew what it was like to change cloth diapers with bold colored bobby pins from morning til night.

Come Monday morning Pumpkin Brains has a medical appointment. For Pumpkin he will prepare himself hours before he sets out to walk to his car with his two walking canes. It will take him a long time to get from his house to the car, and he will not be taking his fluid pill or he will have to pee to often, and sometimes he just want make it to the toilet before wetting his britches.

Pumpkin Head loves to cuss and raise hell if he happens to wet his drawers, and britches. Sweetie Pie is getting very disgusted with him because he also aggravates her for sex sometimes, and Sweetie Pie makes Pumpkin Brains awfully mad when she tells him, " The last time you tried to have sex you could not do it. What in the hell makes you think you can have sex now ? "

There is always a war between Sweetie Pie, and Pumpkin Brains over the subject of sex. " You simply just don't give a care what you say to me, and how do you know if I can't have sex anymore , or as of lately ? I feel pretty darn healthy, and I think I could be pretty good at it if you would just take off your pink panties , an be nice enough to want to give me something very special . I think it has been about a year since we have even tried to have sex. I also do not wish to live the rest of my life without at least trying more often to have a sexual life, " said Pumpkin Brains.

Sweetie Pie does not pay much attention to him. Sometimes he screams for attention. Sweetie Pie tells him anything to shut his mouth. She even says, " If you can find another woman that will give you what you want then go get it. "

Pumpkin Brains says, " The way you talk sounds awful, and disgusting. And I do not think I care to have anything to do with you ever again. "

It is four hours before his medical appointment. Should Pumpkin Brains drink coffee or not ? He likes to eat something good for breakfast so that he can use the bathroom right.

Pumpkin Brains finally makes it to the bathroom. He has been in there for a while , and has used a heck of a lot of cleaning materials because he likes to have a super clean body just in case his doctor needs him to drop his pants in order to check his privates .

The bathroom becomes a ritual that could last a long time, and then something horribly embarrassing enters his mind. Pumpkin Brains is not sure he is perfectly clean so he asks Sweetie Pie to help him. " For goodness sake Sweetie can you please do me a favor precious sugar dumpling, can you check me back there to see if I am clean enough for the doctor to examine me ? "

Sweetie Pie says, " It is no big deal, and give me a clean wet rag, and bend over. Yeah , your butt looks just fine, and you look clean in the back, but I will wipe you again if it makes you feel better. You think I never checked a butt before ?

Sweetie Pie passes the rag over Pumpkin Brains behind, and he says , " Wow , take it easy back there are you will rub my you know whats clean off. Be gentle back there because my butt is raw from eating spicy Cajun food."

Sweetie Pie says, " How many times have I told you to lay off the red hot pepper because all you do is to burn up your butt."

Finally all is well , and both Sugar Pie, And Pumpkin Brains are going to the family car. Sugar Pie gets to the car faster as Pumpkin takes his time raising hell as he walks to the car. " I hate to go to the damn doctor again. I go to often."

Sweetie Pie says, " If you want you medicine, and your prescriptions you have to see the doctor. You can not cancel and appointment again, or he will quit seeing you, or get very upset. "

Pumpkin Brains says, " It is just plain ridiculous. More blood tests, and those things are not cheap. Thank God for a charity hospital otherwise I could not afford to stay alive with the high cost of medical care. I guess people that have money have insurance."

Sweetie Pie says, " We need to pick up medicine, and cat litter when we get out of the doctor's office."

After a long day is over , Sweetie, and Pumpkin finally get home. Pumpkin takes off all of his clothes down to his underwear so that he feels comfortable with his slip on shoes. Sweetie makes some coffee , and Pumpkin makes some good old biscuits, and feeds a lot of cats.

Sweetie settles down to watch television. She likes to watch Judge Judy on small claims court. Pumpkin heads straight to his bedroom after breakfast to watch his favorite Westerns.

Pumpkin likes Paladin, Gun-smoke, Maverick, Lawman, Rawhide and all the classic westerns.

God Bless Everyone.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • stars439 profile image

      stars439 6 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

      Dear gloshei : Thank you for writing. I am glad you liked it. The story is about things that folks have to deal with that are not so pleasant. God Bless You, and thanks again.

    • profile image

      gloshei 6 years ago

      Brilliant as usual. Where do you get these stories from?

      I would dearly love to meet you all with a sense of humour like that we would get on fine.

      Keep it up stars439 I love them.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: ""

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)