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The Car That Runs Good On Lemon Pie .

Updated on August 4, 2015
lemon pie
lemon pie

Created Wednesday, June 6, 2012

" I am so disgusted, and tired of buying gasoline," said grand ma.

" We should create , and engine that can run on lemon pie," said grand pa.

" Grand pa, don't get on my nerves. Watch you're nature programs , and drink you're soda pop , and shut up," said grand ma .

" I am hungry grand ma. Do we have any lemon pie left in the refrigerator ? " Asked grand pa .

" Why sure honey. Yes we do. I am going to bed. Eat some pie," said grand ma .

Grand pa discovered a large lemon pie in the refrigerator so he took it down to the garage where they had, and old model T automobile. Even though grand ma, and grand pa were up in years , they never bought a late model car. Once in a while they still drive the model T that was handed down to them by grand ma's aunt Rose before she passed on to Heaven.

Rarely do they use a car . Their grand children, and great grand children take them anywhere they want to go, but grand ma, and grand pa worry about gas that their grandchildren must buy to take them places. Grand ma does what she can to help the young ones buy gasoline by dishing out money to help them out, but money does not grow on trees.

Grand pa was disgusted. He opened the old hood of the model T, and began tinkering around to remove parts here , and there. He messed around with the old fashioned carburetor, and water pump, and oiled the accelerator peddle until he somehow managed to stick a slice of lemon pie into the gas tank of their car .

The next morning grand ma was looking for a slice of pie for breakfast.

" Oh no grand pa, did you eat up all the pie again honey ?" Asked grand ma. " You ate up all our lemon pie sweetie ."

" Why did you have to eat it all ? Did you have problems with you're nerves again ?" Asked grand ma .

" The pie is in the car grand ma, and the car runs fine. No more will we have to buy foreign fuel from our life savings. They can keep their stinking expensive gasoline," said grand pa.

" Have you lost you're mind ! " said grand ma.

" You have just endangered our lives," said grand ma.

" Just wait until the people who make trillions of dollars on gasoline find out that you experimented around with our car, and have customized it to run on lemon pie. If you are not nuts, or full of baloney, or if you are not pulling my leg, then we are goners unless you can forget all you're crazy ideas ," said grand ma.

Poor old grand ma, and poor old grand pa cranked up their sputtering model T as it began to run like a Swiss watch on grand ma's delicious lemon pie. Like frightened children they were scared to death to drive to New York city from their humble home in Kansas. Constantly grand ma, and grand pa looked in their rear view mirror as they carefully drove way under the speed limit on their destination to the big apple.

A cop stopped grand pa. " Why the heck are you driving this old junker on a busy highway young man , " said a smarty pants patrol officer.

" Do not get sarcastic with my husband officer. You know very well my husband is elderly, and not a young man ,and that we are both wise elderly," said grand ma .

" Be silent unless you want a ticket," said grand pa.

" You two be very careful on the road, and drive at least thirty miles per hour ," said the fancy patrolman.

It was ,and interesting long week , but they lived to drive to the New York Times newspaper office to publicly tell a newspaper editor about their pie, and how it makes their car run so good.

Their pie was delicious. Maybe their car wanted to taste some of it too. Grand ma, and grand pa were sad selling their car , but they eventually sold it to the Smithsonian Institute after fuel researchers , and modern engineers closely examined grand pa's customized carburetor recipe. They received millions of dollars in cash . People all over the world ran their cars on lemon pie because of grand ma, and grand pa.

Grand ma, and grand pa lived wonderful wealthy lives even though the U.S. government had to relocate them to a secret hide away for their safety .

So somewhere in the world grand pa is watching television with his favorite lemon pie right beside his remote control. Grand ma, and grand pa also bought a play car that their grand baby drives around their house that runs on apple sauce.


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    • stars439 profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

      Dear Phoenix : Thank you dear heart for you're kind visit. Sweet darling, all you need is a ready made pie shell which is what even the best cooks use these days. Since you know how to make the best parts, the lemon, and the mirangue, you'r in high cotton, as they say down south.

      Next time I pass by the Piggly Wiggly I'll have to pick up lemon pudding mix, whipped cream, and dig out and old Thanksgiving pie shell from the freezer if it is still good , or buy another on sale. Of course they sell pies in the supermarket for five bucks, but that's kind of high for a tight wod like me. God Bless You , and Gary precious heart.

    • Poohgranma profile image


      6 years ago from On the edge

      I enjoyed the story but now I have a real hankering for some lemon pie! I make terrible pies too. My mom was a great pie maker so you'd think I could come up with a decent one but my crust is either soggy or too tough. Funny and cute story though!

    • stars439 profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

      Dear bluebird : Thank you very much for visiting, and so glad you enjoyed it. God Bless You Dear Heart.

    • bluebird profile image


      6 years ago

      Dear stars,

      This has got to be my favorite on all your humorous stories, a real classic! You did well my friend...I needed some laughs today and you provided well!

      I am reminded of Red Green the Handyman, he is crazy funny. Are you familiar with him - he's fun to watch on YouTube.

      Anyway, thanks for this special one-of-a-kind classic. Love it, just loved it! The end was great - apple sauce, ha! That really clenched it!

    • stars439 profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

      Dear kashmir : Thank you very much for stopping by, and glad you enjoyed the hub. God Bless You.

    • kashmir56 profile image

      Thomas Silvia 

      6 years ago from Massachusetts

      Hi my friend, just when i think you can't top what you wrote last time you do ! Thanks for this fun hub . GBY !

      Vote up and more !!!

    • stars439 profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

      Thank you shea : God Bless You precious stars. GBY.

    • shea duane profile image

      shea duane 

      6 years ago from new jersey

      So silly! I needed that.

    • stars439 profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

      Dear Bob : Good morning my dear friend. Looks like we are both not sleeping much. Thank you for the wonderful visit that I dearly appreciate. I am still tweeking this little hub for a few flaws in spelling , and such, but glad you enjoyed it. I will write more of these kind for you as well . God Bless You, and God Bless Everyone You Love And Cherish Dearly.

    • diogenes profile image


      6 years ago from UK and Mexico

      Hi Stars: What can a say? Another of your zany hubs...that must have been some pie! You always make me smile and chuckle



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