The Christmas Bums . A Short Story
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Sam , and Joe were addicted to alcohol , and were considered to be wine heads by most people, and from most standards . They lived under a relatively busy river bridge somewhere on the outskirts of a town. Their objectives were to always try to stay alive , and to find as much whisky, and wine and free pocket change as possible from any soul that would want to give these things to them.
" Joe ! where have you put my toaster oven lad ," said Sam.
" I've got a nice rattle snake for us to toast, and eat for breakfast ," said Sam.
" I need my dog gone toaster oven, NOW ," said Sam.
" I was wrapping it up again in Christmas paper for you, and going to put a pretty red bow on it , and give it to you again for Christmas since I don't have a gift for you , my brother. I have a pretty red stick on bow I found in the garbage by the side of the road, " said Joe.
" Your going to give me the same present again Joe , " said Sam.
These fellows, are rather these young men , or rather these two pals are good friends. Joe was a war hero , but he had some mental difficulties so the army placed him in a Veterans Hospital, however he ran off to a far away town . He hid under a river bridge where he met Sam.
Sam was an old fire fighter, but one day as he tried hard to save over a hundred lives from a hotel fire , he saved everyone with the help of other fire fightes, but could not save his wife, and child . Sam became an alcoholic, and he lost his way in life. He lived under the river bridge where Joe became his best friend .
Joe, and Sam kind of reminded me of my dad who was an army man , and a veteran . My dad fished a lot under a river bridge where my dad saw beautiful cat fish leaping real real high, clean out of the water. ( According to the author )
" Joe ! look at those channel cats, and blue gills, and blue cats, and yellow cats leaping out of the water, and flapping those fins in the swift river current. They must be jumping twenty feet high, and the water is a pretty silver, and dog gone absolutely beautiful, " said Sam.
" Sam your allways making a big deal out of those fish . Come see our brand new toilet. I found a piece of plywood, and a carpenter cut out a whole in it for our bucket when we need to use it. The bucket is under the highest part of the bridge where we can have all the privacy of bathroom facilities, " said Joe .
" Sam, I also found three large wonderful card board boxes we can sleep in. Charity hospital gave us two thick blankets for Christmas just in case we get very cold. Sure enough it will get very cold tonight, maybe below freezing. In town authorities are warning people to find shelters. It is not funny Sam because we might freeze to death tonight, " said Joe.
" Joe, I found an old small artificial tree with bulbs. Someone must have thrown it out of a pick up truck. It was standing by the side of the road. I got some candles for light to make it pretty under our bridge, and I have us some cans of hot sardines. I know you love hot sardines with lots of red pepper, but you need to be careful with those things because they will burn your tail but good," said Sam.
" Joe, our cat Tom will not leave our tree alone. The animal keeps trying to pull the bulbs off of our tree, " said Sam
" Sam, do me a favor and help me pick up some pieces of wood from the woods. It is going to freeze, and I do not know if these logs I have found will remain on fire all night, " said Joe.
Well it turned out that Joe, and Sam created a nice flame under the river bridge, and it was magnificent. They even had an A.M and F.M. radio for entertainment, but they heard something like tires burning rubber above their heads during that very cold night. What they heard, and what they discovered was a young woman that had been abandoned on the river bridge by a big city pimp, and drug pusher.
The dope pusher told a young woman by the name of Grace to get out of his car. He left her out in the middle of nowhere to freeze in the cold on Christmas eve. What a terrible thing to do.
Sam, and Joe helped the young lady that Christmas eve, and this is what the young lady told them.
" I am not going to sleep under a river bridge with you bums. I would rather freeze than crawl in any card board box with either one of you two guys, " said Grace.
Sam, and Joe ignored what Grace said. Joe told Grace that she could sleep in her own private card board box near the warmest part of the bridge.
Both Sam, and Joe gave Grace their blankets just in case it became ice cold that Christmas Eve night.
Sam, and Joe built a very large fire, and they burned wood, plywood, logs, and anything they could find to keep that young woman alive, and well, and they did a great job. However Sam, and Joe did not take good care of themselves because when the fire went out they both froze to death.
Fortunately city workers were on their way to check under the bridge on Christmas morning. The workers found Grace alive, and well, and sleeping with Tom which was Sam, and Joe's cat. Their large big fat cat was keeping Grace crispy warm with his body heat, and Grace, and Tom were under thick blankets. The city workers found Sam, and Joe. They tried to sleep close to the burning wood with their card board boxes. As for Grace the local town's people took care of Grace, and Tom. Tom even got a nice gift, a large can of Salmon with a bow on it.
Sam, and Joe froze to death, and a spark from the fire burned them to crispy critters , and they were gone as gone could be on Christmas morning.
What a lousy shame they were gone like that especially on Christmas morning. However they both went to Heaven faster than most bums that saved lives.
In Heaven Sam, and Joe walked with God. God held Joe's hand, and Sam's hand as he led them to paradise. God said to them, " You know fellows your O.K. in my book so your welcome to live for eternity in my paradise where Christmas lasts forever, and ever, and wherever good souls get everything they want."
What do you think paradise looked like for Joe, and Sam you might ask . Paradise for them was a large Golden river bridge. Golden cat fish jumped clear out of beautiful paradise river water.
They both ate delicious hot sardines, and God provided them both with the most beautiful golden bucket, and plywood , and it had perfect plywood on top of it with a hole in just the right place. They had whisky, and all the wine they ever wanted plus cable television.
Sam, and Joe were happy in Heaven. And both Joe, and Sam were united with their families, and loved ones when many years went by. They even met Grace, and she was no longer a Heroin addict. She was cured by God instantly the moment she died , and went to Heaven.
God made everyone a golden river, and a golden river bridge was a place where everyone met. Sam, and Joe, and Grace, and family members, and friends, and people, and happy children, and happy mothers, and dads, and grandparents from the towns walked under the river bridge to see the catfish jump clear out of the Golden river , and right back into the swift currents .
God made everything beautiful, and perfect for everyone that was good at heart.
God Bless Everyone, And Merry Christmas.