ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Weird Things My Refrigerator Has Said

Updated on October 17, 2010

Weird Things My Refrigerator Has Said

Obviously, your refrigerator is the most vain appliance in your kitchen. Refrigerators provide functionality and utility only dreamed of by lowly toaster ovens, dishwashers, and cheese graters. The attitude of the icebox becomes understandable when viewed from the perspective of complexity. No other kitchen gizmo is smart enough to keep cold things cold and frozen things frozen while concurrently providing water in three different forms (liquid, cubed, and crushed.) Open the door and a light pops on: we implicitly trust that illumination ceases upon door closure.

Those of us who mistakenly tried to store T-bone steaks in the dish washer have learned these lessons in a dramatic fashion.

Weird Things My Refrigerator Has Said

Given the superior position of the refrigerator in the kitchen appliance pecking order, we expect our frozen friend to come up with entertaining and unexpected bon mots once in a while. Should you be unfortunate enough to miss out on the ruminations of your frozen friend, we present a sampling of weird things my refrigerator has said. Your personal refrigerator probably doesn't hold equivalent views, but you may find an icebreaker (!) or two.

"You don't buy a refrigerator, you only rent it."

How true this rings. Every refrigerator ends up standing morosely at the curb, waiting for the inevitable trip to the dump or the recycling center.

"History tells us that such refrigerators are often gone but not forgotten."

Who among us will ever forget their first refrigerator? The trip to the used-appliance superstore, the tireless hunt through rows of mismatched handles and trim pieces, the eventual realization that we can only afford a unit that reeks of some else's moldy cheese.

"My one regret is that I only have one compressor to give for my household."

Oddly enough, this refrigerator was made in China. We appreciate the sentiment in any case.

"That's one small step for an icebox, one giant leap for domestic food preservation technology."

I heard this one shortly after the completion of a particularly satisfying defrost cycle.

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. Your milk is beyond its' expiration date."

Wow. That little icebox sure was a lifesaver.

"The only thing we have to fear is leaking refrigerant itself."

Truer words were never spoken by appliance or sentient human.

"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow; Don't walk behind me, I may not lead; Walk beside me, and don't let my ice maker freeze up."

We heard this one several times over the course of a hot and humid Summer.


We have presented a brief synopsis of weird things my refrigerator has said. A truly amazing appliance, as far as you know. Never underestimate your refrigerator.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • lorlie6 profile image

      Laurel Rogers 

      7 years ago from Bishop, Ca

      Hello again!

      You know what I like.

      I'm Waaaaaaaaiiting...

    • nicomp profile imageAUTHOR

      nicomp really 

      7 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @SpaceAge : Write some hubs so we can tease you!

    • dallas93444 profile image

      Dallas W Thompson 

      7 years ago from Bakersfield, CA

      I saw an old Maytag washing machine wink at me when I told her she had "cute legs..."

    • nicomp profile imageAUTHOR

      nicomp really 

      7 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @SpaceAge : As far as you know...

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Wacko! Appliances don't talk...........

    • ltfawkes profile image


      7 years ago from NE Ohio

      nicomp, you're on a roll. You MUST have first prize sewn up because you're in with such an impressive "body of work."

      True story: just this morning my refrigerator said to me: "No more ice for you, Toe Jam. You were supposed to replace my filter three months ago. Happy now?"

      Would it kill refrigerators to be just a little more - I don't know - nurturing? Oh de well.


    • nicomp profile imageAUTHOR

      nicomp really 

      7 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @dallas93444: I like that! After waiting a few days, I may steal it.

    • dallas93444 profile image

      Dallas W Thompson 

      7 years ago from Bakersfield, CA

      Or the great comment, "Great legs, you are built like a refrigerator!"

    • breakfastpop profile image


      7 years ago

      Your refrigerator is smarter than the average citizen. You are in good company.

    • Tom Whitworth profile image

      Tom Whitworth 

      7 years ago from Moundsville, WV


      My refrigerator spoke to me also back in August during a huge power failure. He said,"Tom I'm not working without electricity and now you must buy all new food because your's is now all spoiled rotten!!!!!!!!"

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 

      7 years ago from south Florida

      nicomp - thought you had really flipped out until I realized this was all a part of Stan's far-out hub requests.

    • Stan Fletcher profile image

      Stan Fletcher 

      7 years ago from Nashville, TN

      Nicomp - This is one of your best. Hilarious!!!!! Unfortunately you are not good at following directions. Put a link back the the Killer Hubs post so that the judges won't have to disqualify you.....

    • timorous profile image

      Tim Nichol 

      7 years ago from Me to You

      You think your fridge has should check mine out:

      [see my hub about Kitchen Appliances]

    • Robwrite profile image


      7 years ago from Oviedo, FL

      This is refrigeratorist and perpetuates refrigerator stereotypes.

    • frogdropping profile image


      7 years ago

      Brilliant! And at least you're not handing out really dumb advice :)


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)