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First Apartment Decorating Disaster

Updated on October 16, 2016

Why I Will Owe A Couple Grand When I Move Out.

I was 22. The world was my oyster. I was new to a beautiful city, new boyfriend, and a large apartment on the poor side of town for an unbeatable price. The problem?

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Everything in the apartment was dingy, and brown. Everything was brown.

I like pop art, myself. Also, the color black. And this is my downfall.

What did I do first?

I guess the first thing I did was to glue funny little black and white pictures of 50's bowling teams on the bathroom wall. I think I used wood glue. On the wall. All over. Then I took some kind of craft paint and made faux graffitti all over the blank bathroom wall space.

Next up, I painted our stove black with some kind of Indoor/Outdoor Craft Paint I found for a dollar something a bottle. Then I moved on to the fridge. And then, I moved on to the kitchen floor. When that paint wasn't quite working out on the floor, I bought black spray paint. And used that on the floor.

I stained the cabinets and they didn't come out good at all. So don't do that.

Then I decided I didn't like the color of my carpet. So I mixed paint with water and started to "stain" the carpet. And yeah, I sure did stain the carpet.

I moved on to the ceilings. I tried painting them black but I found that really uneven and difficult so then I tried to cover up my attempt with a bronze color. The end result is the appearance of tire marks on sand. And i guess that's kind of nice. I guess.

The last atrocity I remember having committed was doing a horrible Pollack attempt on the bedroom wall.

A lot of these things have been taken care of in the three years since I realized what a mistake I had made.

And some of them, like the black paint on the kitchen floor, remain. Peeling. Impossible to completely scour out. And I have tried everything. Everything.

Does anyone know how to get acrylic paint out of linoleum???? ANYONE?

(other than replacing the floor or dumping paint thinner on it?)


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