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What to do when people Hate on you

Updated on April 23, 2012

Hello Everyone!

This article is for everyone, no matter where you come from or what walks of life you went through. I know you have come across "Haters." Which means to me people who really have nothing better to do then attack your life style and relationships. If you have one or many this article is put together for you. I have lots of experience with haters, and after a lot of trail and error I have put this article together on some tips on how to deal with them. First let me start with this. I made groups for the type of haters. Here it is:

1. GROUP 1: RELATIONSHIP HATERS! Honestly I really despise these haters the most, that's why they are number one. These are the haters that are always on the phone with someone bad mouthing YOUR relationship. They always get together with other people and try to turn everyone including family against you because they have no one. Or they are person in the family who hates you and takes everything you do and make it an issue.

2. GROUP 2: FAKE FRIENDS! We all I say confidently have had fake friends, but have you ever asked yourself why did they even bother to pretend to be your friend if they didn't like you? HATERS. See when people hear haters they think of someone who hates them, which is true, but they can be "your so called" friends. They get close to you so they can have so much dirt on you to spread to other people because they really are upset that even though you fall down or get pushed down. YOU DON'T NEED OTHERS TO PICK YOU UP, you can do on your own.

3. GROUP 3: FAMILY! Like I said sometimes the haters are not just people on the street who see you and don't like you. It usually is people very close to you. The ones that know the most dirty shit about you and use it to throw in your face every single time you don't bend over to their needs. THEY ARE HATERS. Yes they share some of your blood or are family by marriage but they are so angry because of things in their own life they really hate to see anyone else happy.

4. GROUP 4: INVISIBLE HATERS! Last but not least the invisible haters. These are the haters that "suddenly" pop up out of nowhere. For example, your friend is mad at you and you have no idea why. Then when you talk you find out "someone" told them you said something about them. This is a person that you really don't spend anytime or attention too. That's what makes them so vengeful, enough that they spread nasty gossip about you to anyone who listens. Then hides in the damn shadows and watches how you deal with the explosion.

So now that we have established the groups of haters, I will give you some tips on how to deal each of these haters. It will keep you out of court for choking the crap out of them and it will make them back down.

Tips for Group 1

I have dealt with this group of haters so much they should call me and expert. Instead I'm going to help everyone who is dealing with these types of haters because I know how quickly it can get out of control. Or you can lose control. Lets say your example A, which is that your with someone that everyone keeps talking about. This person in specific is going around twisting every "bad" story they hear and making that person seem like such an asshole that even if they show up to make peace everyone already has a bad way with them. My tip for this is that you need fix the leak of information, meaning you need to shut them up. ALTHOUGH, you have to do this with caution. You should sit down with them, when you do bring a lot people to witness this, and tell them that they are hurting your relationship by making an issue out of everything. That you respect their opinion but they need to mind their own business. Now the people are their to see how respectfully you told them to stop. So if they don't they will look like the bad person. Which trust me, no one wants to be. Then cut them off. If they are around leave. Don't speak personally to anyone they know about your relationship. DRY THEM OUT of information about you. Its time to go underground. Keep your business between you and yours and when people ask say your good and that's it. Change the subject. Now example B, the friends and family don't like you. They keep yelling in the ears of yours that they should leave you. No matter what you do its always wrong. Here is a tip for you, tell your man or woman that you don't want to hear or speak with anyone who has bad waves for you. Tell them to keep the negatively to themselves because its bringing the relationship to a bad place. Be nice and say i respect their opinion and you can speak to whoever you want but keep their names out of your arguments or conversations. That you don't feel its healthy for you to deal with the negatively and if they won't stop bringing them around, or speaking of them, that you won't be able to move forward with the relationship. The truth is the truth and if they won't stop bringing it into the relationship then its time to move forward, period.

Tip for Group 2

Fake friends come and they go. Monday through Sunday they minus well have a job in making people look bad. My tip for handling these people is simple and basic. You don't need people who speak bad of you, no matter how nice they are in front of you, if they have nothing good to say about you when your not present you need to move on. You don't even have to address them if you don't want too. Just stop talking to them. If they ask why tell them that friendship is about trust and you don't trust them. Simple then walk away. You don't need to explain shit to them. They know what they did, so keep it moving. Don't regret telling them anything because at the end of the day you learned exactly who they are. Now you can handle your business without the leaks.

Tip for Group 3

This one is very tough. Family no matter what they did or said you know your going to see them again. Your going to have to be in the same circle of people because of your relation. My tip for dealing with family who hate on you is you have to really get tough skin. Meaning that you have keep your mouth shut. If they said bad stuff that hurts you because it was mistakes you made that your paying for tell them directly that you're in a better place and want to move on from that. They don't need to put it out their all the time because it will always be a part of where you came from even if you don't want it to be. It doesn't mean that they should use it to chop you up. Then you need to focus on doing better to prove them wrong. They may gossip still to everyone in the family but you need to close your ears to it. You shouldn't have to defend your life or life style to anyone. If they don't like it that's their problem. Simple. Limit contact as much as possible and don't give them what they are looking for. To push you to acting out. Handle them like they a child who won't shut up, nod and smile and move to next subject.

Tip for Group 4

You know those behind the curtain shit talkers are very annoying. My tip is remember your ROLE in the play. They are behind the curtain and YOUR THE STAR. So they want to be mad that's too bad. You shouldn't even get mad and ruin your character for their foolishness. If they can't talk the talk to your face then don't look back at them. They behind you for a reason. Just walk right over their shitty ass traps and laugh about it. That's why your the star and they are not. When they see you laugh at their silly attempts to talk about you they will see how stupid they are. Even if its true, address it like the stars in hollywood do, say it wasn't meant to be taken out of context and if it offended anyone sorry. Then laugh and move on. Let them hate in the shadows because they aren't real enough to say it to you so people will see that. That you address what you did and move on. They the ones with the problems.

In closing

I'm not saying this will work for everyone, but use it as a suggestion if anything. I wrote this because I wished this information would had been out their when I was going through stuff. So I wanted to help everyone who is going through this. Haters really do get under the skin but it doesn't have destroy your fun or your life. Give them 15 minutes of shame and keep moving. They really aren't worth it. They usually the ones with the issues. Seriously who wants to be in someone business that much? People who so bored with they life or hate they life so much they want to be in yours. I hope you found this article funny and informative and most importantly enjoyed it. If you want to leave comments at the bottom of the page you can. Thank you take care. :)

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    • profile image

      Dortha 2 years ago

      Good point. I hadn't thughot about it quite that way. :)

    • profile image

      batty 4 years ago

      really good information espacially about family , my family hates me and i did nothing wrong but now i learned to shut my mouth and close my ears thnxx

    • manthy profile image

      Mark 4 years ago from Alabama,USA

      Voted up & useful .... I love this hub

    • debbiepinkston profile image

      Debbie Pinkston 5 years ago from Pereira, Colombia and NW Arkansas

      Hi, My Hub on Dealing with Difficult People is published if you would like to read it and comment. I see you already have 50 hubs in just 2 months!

    • Mistressoflove profile image
      Author

      Mistressoflove 5 years ago from Rhode Island

      Thank you for commenting on the hub! When you publish your article I will read it. Let me know, it sounds like a great read!

    • debbiepinkston profile image

      Debbie Pinkston 5 years ago from Pereira, Colombia and NW Arkansas

      Great Hub! Just today I was writing a future Hub on "How to Deal with Difficult People". I'll publish it within the next few days.

      What I am learning is to not care about the people who don't care about me. I tried, and it backfires every time, so "alla ellos". (That's an expression we use in Venezuela, which means "they're over there". The saying reminds me of what my Dad who is a preacher used to say when he encountered difficult church members: We should send them all to Siberia and let them duke it out.