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Military Gnomes To Protect Your Garden!

Updated on May 19, 2014

Does your garden need gnome protection?

I purchased a USAF (United States Air Force) military garden gnome for my father as a birthday present. You can see that very cute guy taking a break from his gnome duties to the left. He is a swinging gnome.

My retired military father's hobby is "decorating" his back yard using a patriotic theme. His flamboyant and eclectic style infuriates his neighbors and my step-mom. The more they complain, however, the more stuff he adds to the red, white and blue landscape design. This year I am helping him annoy the golfers, neighbors and his loved ones by giving him a cute little Air Force Gnome. It is the perfect gift for a retired military man. (Later that same year, I got him a University of Alabama gnome. At least is is red and fits the color scheme.)

FYI: There are garden gnomes for all the military servicemen out there! If you have not guessed by now, I am going to share them with you on this page (or "lens", as we here at Squidoo, like to call our pages). I am focusing in on just the military gnomes; none of those other cute garden gnomes will do. Yes, I want you to buy a gnome!

Image credit: Mickie_G - all rights reserved (Yes, I caught the garden gnome taking a break with my iPhone. Red Lettering added to the image with

Protect Your Gnome!

The gnome I bought for my father was placed outside and the paint did not hold up well.

If your gnome is going in the garden, protect it with a clear, weather-proof finish.

Buy your survival guide NOW by clicking How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack: Defend Yourself When the Lawn Warriors Strike (And They Will)

If you feel like you want to be prepared for a gnome war, click on the title above so you can order your survival guide today. If you live anywhere near my father, I have a feeling that the gnome battles will begin when the Air Force Gnome is at his battle station. I can just see it now, Army, Navy and Marine Gnomes battling it out for supremacy!

Don't Gknow What a Gnome Is?

garden gnome
garden gnome

A gnome (or nohm) is a dwarflike creature found in European lore. Gnomes look like small, misshaped men who have very long beards. They usually live underground (think mines), but today they love to find a space in your garden among the plants. In lore, gnomes are thought to to guard fabulous treasures of jewels and precious metals. One thing I did not gknow about gnomes is that they were thought to have the magic ability to make people feel sad. How could they do that? They tend to make me smile, but I guess my father's neighbors feel sad when they see his collection!

I found this information about gnomes in my own very old encyclopedia (World Book).

photo credit: NJ Tech Teacher via photopin cc

Find the top rated gnomes on Amazon by clicking Top Reviewed Gnomes

Find Your United States Air Force Gnome on Amazon

This little Airman is 11.5 inches high and will fit nicely in your garden, gazebo or front porch. Each fella is hand crafted and hand painted. The gnome hat has a raised logo on the hat.

Unfortunately, not made in the USA.

Tip: The gnomes do not hold up well outdoors. I would protect them by spraying or painting them with a clear varnish.

Buy a Navy Gnome for your protection!

Gnome from the Navy! Bet you could add a fleet of gnomes around your pool.

Don't forget that there is a Coast Guard! - A Gnome Ready to Protect the seashore!

An oft forgotten military gnome. He will protect the Great Lakes and the coast.

Forever Collectibles Military Coast Guard Team Thematic Gnome
Forever Collectibles Military Coast Guard Team Thematic Gnome

Don't fogey to give this little fella a coat of protection (a clear, waterproof spay will do nicely).


Army Gnomes on Amazon

It has been my experience that the Marine gnome loves to sneak in. Beware, the Marines just might win the battle for your garden.

Marine Gnomes need a hiding place in your landscape!

Marines! Need another Gnome source? - try eBay for your garden protection

Amazon does not sell everything all the time. eBay is a good alternative and you get competitive pricing, too.

Buy your Gnome on eBay!


At first your garden gnome may be a little shy. He may even hide from you... Given time, your gnome will adjust and come out and watch over your gnomescape. Gnomes love to help small animals and even feed some of them from seeds found in the garden (make sure to tell him not to take seeds you have planted!) Sometimes at night you have to be extra careful with the Party type Gnomes (Being a military brat, myself, I KNOW that the military does party hardy). They sometime drink a wee to much and may fall into your pond. Be sure to have your ear out for distress calls or make sure you buy a Coast Guard Gnome to put by the pond. Hmmm, wonder if there is a "lifeguard gnome"?

Thanks to rhandy99 on eBay for the inspiration.

Learn About the Enemy Gnome: - The "G" is as silent as the gnomes' attack.

All nations agree, the way to win a war is to understand the history of your enemy. The book here has received 5 stars (the best) from reviews on Amazon. Read and learn about gnomes so you can figure out how to keep them out of your yard. Like the "G" in gnome, those nomes will be silent in their attack on your countryside manor. They will appear overnight like mushrooms.

Garden Gnomes: A History (Shire Library)
Garden Gnomes: A History (Shire Library)

"The book ends with a view of garden gnomes' affect on modern pop culture, with a mention of the trend in gnome liberation (stealing and relocating the ornaments as a prank)." From a review by From a Andrew J. Broznya on Amazon.


Another way to protect yourself: - A Gnome to Support the Troops--the safest side!

In the military gnome affairs, you can protect yourself with a generic gnome that supports all the troops.

Did you gno it? It is not too late to help protect your garden all year long with the addition of your own military guards. Which branch of the service to you tend to like the best? My loyalty lies with the USAF.

Who Gnew Gnomes would become such a fad?

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    • Natalie W Schorr profile image

      Natalie W Schorr 

      5 years ago

      This is so much fun!

    • WedgeAntilles profile image

      Wedge Antilles 

      5 years ago from Mount Vernon, WA

      I can't wait to get me an Air Force gnome! Oh, and an Army one for my roommate and a Marine Corps one for my son. Thanks.

    • Mickie Gee profile imageAUTHOR

      Mickie Gee 

      5 years ago

      @jcgrc1975: I just added a topic on this page just for Marine Gnomes on eBay. There were several in dress blues.

    • Mickie Gee profile imageAUTHOR

      Mickie Gee 

      5 years ago

      @jcgrc1975: Hope you find it on Amazon. Just click any of the gnomes on this page and go to Amazon and search for it. I will see if I can find one and put it on this page.

    • profile image


      5 years ago

      Looking for a MARINE GNOME in dress blues......

    • Mickie Gee profile imageAUTHOR

      Mickie Gee 

      5 years ago

      @KimGiancaterino: Is there a "smiley face" gnome? Maybe that will make your neighbors like your garden more.

    • KimGiancaterino profile image


      5 years ago

      Garden gnomes always remind me of "The Full Monty." Our neighbors are already annoyed by my large garden. Maybe a few well-placed gnomes will make them smile!

    • MamaBelle profile image

      Francis Luxford 

      8 years ago from United Kingdom

      I would love a gnome of my own. A gnome armed to the teeth would be even better.

    • TheLittleCardShop profile image

      Malu Couttolenc 

      8 years ago

      Your father must enjoy annoying his neighbors so much, it made me smile just to picture him thinking what will they think with this new Gnome you have him.

      All thos Gnome products are so fun, never thought there was such a big variety of them :)

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      I hope your Dad's gnome stays on duty where he's assigned; I have heard some become gnomads...Blessed by a Squid Angel.

    • Richard-H profile image


      8 years ago from Surrey, United Kingdom

      Back home in the UK, you can see gnomes everywhere adorning people's gardens. Hope your Dad enjoys his!

    • Wednesday-Elf profile image


      8 years ago from Savannah, Georgia

      I Gknow I like your extra, silent, G's in your Gnome descriptions! :). Cute story, and fun little garden gnomes. I'll bet your dad will love his Air Force one.

    • Addy Bell profile image

      Addy Bell 

      8 years ago

      What an entertaining look at garden gnomes. I wish your father luck in annoying his neighbors!


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