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About The Whole Donate A Dollar To Charity At Checkout

Updated on August 17, 2007

Donating A Dollar (Or More) At The Register! - Don't Get Me Started!

I get it, I get's an easy way to donate to charitable causes by having a cashier ask you if you want to donate a dollar to MDA or some other charity gets on my nerves and let me tell you why. It's checkout emotional blackmail. Donating a dollar (or more) at the register! - Don't Get Me Started!

As I have long stated, I am not a "Geffen Gay." You know, one of those supposed gays with a large disposable income, two retrievers and a Jeep Cherokee (Hey, I'm just going by what they show in the ads, right?). And although I'll probably never buy a $25,000 table at an AIDS benefit, I do contribute to HRC (Human Rights Campaign), GMHC (Gay Men Health Crisis), Habitat For Humanity and other charities what I can afford when I can. Long has it driven me to distraction that in the same envelope you receive the "thank you" for your donation that you also receive another envelope with the charity having their hand out, looking for more of your money. You'd think they'd have the good taste to at least let you revel in your "I did a good deed" euphoria for ten minutes or maybe a week before they slam you with the reality that everyone is being discriminated against or dying because you couldn't come up with another $125 after the $75 you just gave! I get it, they are charitable causes that need money to operate and help people and I appreciate it but come on, am I the only person that is donating? Sometimes it feels that way when you see the letter personally addressed to you from Elizabeth Taylor telling you "how far we've come but how far we have to go, Scott." And that's exactly why they do it. I mean, who can say no to the queen of the Nile? Maggie The Cat? Or National Velvet for Chrissakes? You're doomed and so is your checkbook. The point is I usually always end up giving a little bit more and then when the next "thank you we need more of your money" letter comes, I just throw it away without opening it or looking for the free return address labels. (Read that blog here... Using Return Address Labels That Charities Send)

But with Jerry Lewis dusting off his tux, prepare yourself to see firemen with their boots off in the middle of the street looking for money (you know, kind of like that guy you thought you were dating in 1987 but he turned out just to be a go go boy/prostitute who dressed like a fireman and was always taking his boots off and leaving them in all the most inconvenient places in your apartment until you finally tripped over them and chipped a tooth - just a guess). With Labor Day around the corner the supermarkets are asking you that dreaded question as you pay for your groceries, "Would you like to donate a dollar to MDA?" First I have to ask, "Is it just me? I thought that they found a cure for this like ten years ago or something?" I'm not trying to be funny or mean, I really thought that Jerry had told us that at one point. Well, whatever, they apparently still need our money much more than we need to hear Jerry sing at this point. And the point is that if you don't donate you look like a complete loser in front of the other people in line as the cashier gives you every dirty look she can for $1.49. So your choice is to donate and fill out the piece of paper to let everyone know you donated or don't and look like an asshole. Since the inception of this new way to raise money I've begun to embrace my inner asshole. (And no, that's not some new exercise to make your ass better for gay sex!)

It's not just MDA, they get you in the pet store too, asking you to donate a dollar to the homeless pets. Well, I took in two stray cats who now live in the lap of luxury complete with an electronic litter box and an electric drinking fountain so no, I don't feel the need to donate to the homeless pets, I've already given my bed, allowed most of my furniture to be covered in cat hair (that I'm constantly using the adhesive rollers on to keep the hair situation at bay), my money and most of all, affection that I had no idea would make me a complete blithering idiot when they do even the slightest thing like jump in my lap and purr. We also leave food out for another stray that won't let us get near him but he's desperate for food so I'm covered when it comes to the pet thing but what to do when it's a human charity?

I can't very well walk around whipping out my tax deductible receipts for all the "human" donations that I've made and I can't just ignore a fireman or Suzy as she checks me out at the market so for once in my life I have found that I could do what no one thought possible from me. Use an economy of words, be polite and yet firm at the same time. While making eye contact I say, "No thank you." No more and no less and if Suzy or anyone else thinks I'm a bastard or asshole, it's on them because I was polite and to the point. I've decided to make this one less thing I worry about, feel guilty about or try to overcompensate for by giving all my thoughts on the subject when all they really want is a dollar out of me. And sometimes when I'm feeling major pressure from a nasty checkout woman, after I say no I ask her to add a candy bar to my order! And I feel better. Donating a dollar (or more) at the register! - Don't Get Me Started!

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    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 10 years ago from Las Vegas

      Let me just admit, sometimes I DO pretend National Velvet is writing just to me!!! Glad you enjoyed. Scott

    • livelonger profile image

      Jason Menayan 10 years ago from San Francisco

      I LOVED this hub! I can totally relate! When I get the "chaser" mail full of address labels, I usually keep them but don't donate again for another year. I feel like those are my gift. Your part about not being able to say no to National Velvet had me crying!

    • profile image

      mdb 10 years ago

      Grow up Mr. Sensitive. Say 'no', let it go, and move on with your life.