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Again The Gay Pride Parade Has Passed Me By

Updated on May 5, 2008

Again The Gay Parade Has Passed Me By - Don't Get Me Started!

To me it had just been a typical weekend, a little work, some sleeping in late and some staying up later than I should. So imagine my surprise when a new co-worker (a straight woman) called me last weekend needing some help with something at the office and she asked that question I've learned to dread, "We had friends in town so we went to the gay pride parade and I was wondering...well, were you there?" No, I was not there I didn't even know that Pride was last weekend. Again the gay parade has passed me by - Don't Get Me Started!

Truth be told, I know that I should but I just don't feel at all like Dolly Levi in "Hello Dolly" when she decides to re-join the human race and sings, "Before the parade passes by, before it goes on and only I'm left. Before the parade passes by, I've got to get in step while there's still time left." You see, I don't want to join that parade. Oh now those of you who think that I'm judging it or looking down my nose at it couldn't be more wrong. It's not that I feel as though, "Oh, I'm not one of those gays." No, it's not like that at all. It's that for me I've never been a parade goer in general. I remember one year when I was living in Pasadena, all my pals came over to watch the Tournament of Roses parade on New Year's Day and while I always loved watching the parade on television, the night before everyone had gotten drunk at the Disneyland New Year's Eve party and I ended up having to drive everyone home so I was exhausted and chose to sleep in as opposed to sitting on a curb waiting for a float that looked like space travel made entirely out of hydrangeas to pass by.

I think parades are swell for those so inclined but if you asked me if I'd rather have the right to march in a parade or have hospital visitation rights, I chose the visitation rights any day. I know, it's probably my age but for someone like me who has always known that they are gay yet has never been to a Pride festival or parade while I'm glad it's there for others, it's just not for me. It's difficult to not say, "let the kids have their parade" when that's exactly how I feel. True, some would say that the whole "we're here, we're queer, get used to it" demonstrations and Pride parades assist the straight world to better accept us and eventually feel okay with letting us visit our partners in the hospital. But I only partially see the correlation.

Some of us join parades, some of us come out to everyone we work with and know and some donate quietly to charities that help us all. Some do all three but for me, I just want to live my life knowing that I'm honest with myself, my guy, my family and friends. In a way (of course without the waving) my parade is my life. Sometimes I'm riding the float and other times I'm standing on the curb looking at the people and places that have gone through my life. And do you know what? There's just as much pride and wonder in that as all the rainbow flags, drag queens and scenes made from pansies (double entendre intended). So know that I may not have attended Pride but I do my best to live with it every day. Again the gay parade has passed me by - Don't Get Me Started!

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    • fireball34 profile image

      fireball34 8 years ago

      You know I had people say, look at all those gays showing off their bodies and getting drunk and ect... I then turn to them and say it's no different then straight people and their Mardi Gras in New Orleans. Every group and culture has a right to have its fun days. Don't get me started lol

    • RFox profile image

      RFox 9 years ago

      Great hub and I like your point of view. :D