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Anna Nicole Gets A Ribbon

Updated on August 7, 2007

The Anna Nicole Ribbon

Well, they have finally laid her to rest but I'm sure that we still have a good month or two of the Anna Nicole show on every station. From Larry King to Entertainment Tonight, there's no chance of them letting this die now that she is in her final resting place. We'll need to have regular updates on the paternity of the baby, more speculation on Anna's mother's sudden concern for her dead daughter and grandson and finally the "tell-all" books that will begin appearing from the likes of Howard K. Stern and anyone else that ever brushed up against Anna Nicole. I did my level best not to watch any of the funeral proceedings but couldn't help see a snippet where one of her "closest friends" was talking and was asked by a reporter about the pink and black ribbon she wore. The friend (acting as though it was taking everything she had to get it out) said, "Well, black was her favorite this particular color we're wearing them to show we remember Anna." That's right, Anna Nicole gets a ribbon - Don't Get Me Started!

(Read more Scott @

If I'm not mistaken the whole ribbon thing started as a sign of support for troops in another Bush's war and were yellow so that the war's theme song could be Tony Orlando and Dawn's moving pop classic, Tie A Yellow Ribbon. Its next sighting was for Aids awareness and the bright yellow moved to bright red. From there the ribbon has been used to signify some pretty serious stuff from breast cancer awareness to child abduction. All really serious issues that deserve more of our attention as a society than just a ribbon but you figure if it makes people think about it then it must be a good thing. So as you can see I'm not the most heartless son of a bitch in the world and I get the ribbon thing (kind of). What I do not get is the one for Anna Nicole. While she was a beautiful person (outside) and every life is to be celebrated, I don't need to think about her every time I put on my coat or get one of those silly magnetic "ribbons" for my car to signify to everyone else driving by me that I'm thinking of her. Mainly because I'm not and won't be especially when Mark Steines and the rest of the so-called reporters give me back control of my programming.

Now Howard K. Stern who has lost his meal ticket, he should be wearing a ribbon. Because he does need to remember Anna every day and the way he was happy to sit next to her and her son as they drugged themselves into oblivion. He should be reminded every day how much he sponged off of her and how little true support he gave her in return. But Howard will do just fine I'm thinking because scum always land on their feet. Maybe he can become real pals with Lindsey Lohan or Britney Spears next. The one thing we can be assured of is that once the paternity question is settled, there's no doubt in my mind that Howard is headed for rehab.

I've watched like everyone else as they continually show the two second clip of them taking Anna's body into the hospital on the gurney with the sheet covering her about a zillion times and now I'm faced with seeing a much more gruesome image from the death of Anna Nicole, the dreaded coffin with the pink schmata on it. Can someone please tell me what that piece of shit was on top of that coffin? It looked liked one of the Muppets done as a bear skin rug or something. Not only did you have the marabou but you had the satin ribbons limply hanging over the side of the coffin. Then again, it was symbolic of her life, she loved the color pink and it looked cheap and thrown together in a hurry - weren't those Anna's trademarks?

I tend to be a "let's move on kind of guy". I don't think that Anna Nicole's death will be something that will make the history books but I'm sure it will get its due time on MTV's decade recap and that's about all it deserves. I'm waiting for the rest of the merchandising to come out. You know, the t-shirts that say, "I Slept With Anna Too", "Howard K. Stern You Are NOT The Baby's Father" or the Anna inspired line of methadone. But for now Anna Nicole gets a ribbon - Don't Get Me Started!

Read more Scott @


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