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Being a surrogate mother

Updated on November 6, 2008

So after I graduated from being an egg donor, I have decided to take another step forward. Some people may take it to the extreme but some may not. I became a surrogate mother. It took me awhile to really ensure my safety on this because I know a mother's emotions you can not play with. Anyway when I started looking up agencies who handled Gestational Carriers (there's 2 types, traditional and gestational) i learned so many things. There is only 1 state (I believe) allowed traditional surrogacy, this meant they will fertilize your own egg, and it was Arkansas. I had no idea a lot of people from Arkansas need help getting pregnant?! Anyway again, California apparently allowed gestational surrogacy, this meant they get an embryo from somewhere and place it in you.

So when I finally decided to go ahead and do it, I place an add in a certain website. I described myself and what type of living environment I had and they next day or so I received like 15 emails. I was so shocked to find out that there were a lot of people out there who couldn't or wouldn't carry their own baby.

Sad but true, in some cases it has become a business. I am Asian and I chose a Caucasian couple. Yes, weird it may seem I gave birth to a pretty Caucasian baby girl almost 3 years ago. No, I am not sad, no I didn't feel lost, why? Well for one thing for it was definitely not my baby and 2 when I decided to this I already had my mind set.

So advice to potential surrogates out there, agencies or people don't just accept you because your healthy or you can carry a baby safely, the most important part is the psychological and emotional part of it all. Remember raging hormones can get out of hand, so you really have to be ready.

If ever you decide, try my tip, choose a couple or a person whose ethnicity is not exactly like yours (for gestational carriers) because when you are holding that baby for the first time you'd know right away he/she is not yours to keep.

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    • t0niesjv profile image
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      t0niesjv 5 years ago from Philippines

      I am so sorry for the late repy. for some reason i wasn't getting my notifications. by now you must have found some site. i actually just googled and i think the site was surromom something. sorry. but i found the parents in craigslist. also their are a lot of agencies out there.

    • glassvisage profile image

      glassvisage 6 years ago from Northern California

      Thanks for the Hub! I'm from California too and I'm looking at this... what site did you post the ad on? Would you recommend another site?

    • t0niesjv profile image
      Author

      t0niesjv 7 years ago from Philippines

      Ren, there are laws in certain states that do not allow this. Unfortunate for my age i can no longer be a traditional surrogate. If given the opportunity i have to think about it.

    • profile image

      Ren 7 years ago

      Would you still be willing to be surrogate w/ your egg as well?

    • t0niesjv profile image
      Author

      t0niesjv 8 years ago from Philippines

      You have no idea how many people I have met trying to conceive. I was an Egg Donor first before a Surrogate. I was shocked to find so many people in despair. I was glad to help 5 couplss. Goodluck to your friend.

    • AEvans profile image

      Julianna 8 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      It takes a strong person and I am certain that you are being blessed for what you did. My friend has being trying to have a baby for so long, that now she has turned to adoption to me all children are God's children no matter who they come from and they are all little blessings. :)

    • t0niesjv profile image
      Author

      t0niesjv 8 years ago from Philippines

      Thank you. You don't know how much I appreciate it.

    • AEvans profile image

      Julianna 8 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      You blessed someone with a child , you do have a wonderful heart.:)