Britney's VMA Performance DOA
Britney's VMA Performance DOA - Don't Get Me Started!
Even days before the show happened you could smell the stench of failure in the air. You could see the publicity machine behind Britney trying desperately to set her up for success but alas, as everyone knew, all the planting stories in the world couldn't save the train wreck that is Britney. Britney's VMA performance DOA - Don't Get Me Started!
Around Thursday of last week you started to see the stories on tmz.com and other celeb web sites. They talked about how the latest song that Britney was scheduled to perform at the VMAs was the hottest song in three of the major gay clubs in LA. Oh how the boys supposedly requested it, sang along with it and squealed when it played. While we gays are incredibly loyal to our gal singers and we especially love one with tragedy surrounding her from her men to her ability to do bad choreography on stage, come on - does anyone not think this wasn't a publicist "leaking" stories to try and say like the old commercials for Life cereal, "Look they like it, the gays like it!" Hoping we could somehow help her but no gay intervention could help her then or now after that God awful performance.
That's right even the gays couldn't save Britney from herself on VMA night. I'm sure it will be played non-stop around the world because let's face it, it was bad. Oh yes, Britney returned the "F" in fat (instead of phat) and made "bad" well, bad again (not good). She looked a bit out of it but then again anymore isn't that her at her most coherent? So there she was in an outfit that she had no business being in at her current weight and shape with her stomach pooching out and her ass not being able to be contained in the sequin shorts she had on which immediately would have made most street walkers feel better about themselves and their general appearance. Britney seriously looked like a crack whore who wasn't smart enough to do the crack to make her thinner before the show. As she walked lack luster about the stage you started to feel worse and worse for the dancers who no matter how hard they danced and pulled her about the stage couldn't help the fact that she was unable to even muster the energy to lip synch to the words of whatever the hell that song was supposed to be. Who could focus on the song, plus, who could see the television when you're so busy shaking your head in disbelief?
As Sarah Silverman walked on the stage we all thought she would be her un-merciless self but I don't know if anyone could have predicted what came out of her mouth about Britney. The good news is that while the audience was still trying to figure out what the hell they just saw, Sarah Silverman filled in the gaps with her Kathy Griffinesque (but nastier) form of celeb bashing we all love to see and hear. So Sarah Silverman will get the kudos while I'm sure Britney had no idea what had even been said about her as she crunched up Percocet in the backstage area to keep her in the stupor she was in.
The good news about all of this is that I think for once and for all I'm hoping Britney is finally going away. And if she isn't, she should. Let's face it, she needs to go away for about a year or so, clean herself up and then try to come back. Much like any athlete that comes back too soon from an injury, she's just hurt herself (and us) more than if she had stayed out longer until she was completely recovered. I'm not sure that it can happen at this point, that she can actually recover her career but for the sake of everyone, she needs to go bye bye for awhile. Maybe she can get that palace that Michael Jackson lived in wherever the hell that was? She needs to go far, far away. You know somewhere where they teach you to wear panties, y'all. Britney's VMA performance DOA - Don't Get Me Started!
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