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Confrontation without anger

Updated on September 18, 2008

You can't manipulate your mate

In a relationship, you should never manipulate your mate into changing their ways. Manipulation is more like a form of deceit and can never be good in a relationship. The choice has to be his in order for the change to be real and longlasting.

If you are having a problem with your mate acting in ways that upset you, it is always best to be honest about your feelings. You can do this in a positive way without name calling and accusations. If he is acting like an ass simply ask him if there is something wrong or if you did something to upset him. If he says no, then just tell him that you were wondering because he seemed to be upset with you and tell him how it makes you feel. Don't just attack him with words and call him an ass. This will only serve to make him defensive and most likely angry.

If this is a problem that has been ongoing, you have to sit down together and talk about it. If he cares enough about you he will change how he treats you. If he doesn't then you will be better off with someone who treats you with respect. This may sound a bit harsh but it is fact. Nobody should stay in a relationship in which they are not treated with respect and treat their partner with respect as well.

Try having a talk with him about how you feel when he acts this way rather than name calling and manipulation. Hopefully, he will care enough about you to want to communicate with you and work out the problem areas.

Bonnie Ramsey


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    • Bonnie Ramsey profile image

      Bonnie Ramsey 9 years ago from United States

      Thanks, Amy! I just feel like communication is the best answer to most problems rather than anger. I know I can lose my temper with hubby once in a while but after 13 years he just takes it in stride because he knows I will think about what I said and apologize lol.


    • amy jane profile image

      amy jane 9 years ago from Connecticut

      Great advice, Bonnie!