ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Confusing English Language

Updated on November 30, 2007

The English Language

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

Let's face it

English is a stupid language.

There is no egg in the eggplant

No ham in the hamburger

And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.

English muffins were not invented in England

French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted

But if we examine its paradoxes we find that

Quicksand takes you down slowly

Boxing rings are square

And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.

If the plural of tooth is teeth

Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth

If the teacher taught,

Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables

What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?

Why do people recite at a play

Yet play at a recital?

Park on driveways and

Drive on parkways

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy

Of a language where a house can burn up as

It burns down

And in which you fill in a form

By filling it out

And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers

And it reflects the creativity of the human race

(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why

When the stars are out they are visible

But when the lights are out they are invisible

And why it is that when I wind up my watch

It starts

But when I wind up this observation,

It ends.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • David Bailey profile image

      David Bailey 9 years ago from Imperatriz, Maranhão

      Cute...and I suppose no other languages have these 'problems'? Let's all stop learning English. =-)

    • mp3audiobooks profile image

      mp3audiobooks 9 years ago from Switzerland

      This is fun! :-) - Like most languages, English has it's quirks and it's not always logical. Never the less: English is a language that will help you travel around the globe and you're very likely to find someone - almost everywhere - who speaks a few words of English. I have a hub on English language learning, where I expand a bit about the different methods you can use to learn English, feel free to comment on it. ... and if you can come up with more of these funny comparisons, please post them!

    • MrMarmalade profile image

      MrMarmalade 9 years ago from Sydney

      mANCHAR,

      VERY ORIGINAL:

      i WILL TELL WILLIAM SHAKESPEAR TO MOVE OVER. THERE IS SOME ELSE TO SHARE THE LIMELIGHT

    • sukritha profile image

      sukritha 9 years ago from Cochin

      Nice One Manohar. Informative. Keep going and Do visit my Hubs

      Thumbs Up for you

    • omdelhi profile image

      Om Prakash Singh 9 years ago from New Delhi

      Good going, keep it up. thanx for sharing.

      Do visit my latest hub at https://hubpages.com/misc/NaturalEvolution

      OPSINGH