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Dancing With The Duds Not The Stars

Updated on August 8, 2007

Dancing With Duds - The New Season Of Dancing With The Stars - Don't Get Me Started!

I admit that I'm a little late in the week for this topic but as I have had something called life happening at a fast and furious pace this week, I haven't been able to even get near my Tivo to catch up on all my shows. Last night I finally sat down with remote in hand to catch up on the two hour shows, Dancing With The Stars and Idol. But today, let's talk about Dancing With Duds - the new season of Dancing With The Stars - Don't Get Me Started!

I have watched this show from the first season and I have really loved it but I always had someone I was rooting for or at least was thinking would be interesting to watch from the first episode. After watching the first show of this season I have to say that there's no one I really even care that much about and that's not a good thing.

It seems as if this season's "stars" have slipped to a new all time low making it just barely squeak by The Surreal Life for the "Most likely to have celebrities we can't place and don't care about" award. There's no John Hurley or Springer as the older statesman this year and while you've got Apolo, Ian and Joey from N*Sync, the show certainly isn't the Boy Toy Ballroom it was last season with Mario and Joey. Come on, we all know that ballrooms were made by and for the gays so at least give us a little eye candy please. (And no, we don't want to have to wait for Fatone to slim down during the course of the show.)

Every season these reality shows seem to get "watered" down a little bit more and such is the case with this season of this show. You can feel it all ready; the show has lost its edge by getting too polished in some areas and not enough in other areas. All ready they only gave the celebs four weeks to get ready instead of six so they all look shakier than they have on any other season opener. What the producers need to remember is that we want the stars to seem half way decent so that we're not stuck doing what we do at the election polls every four years (begrudgingly rooting for the lesser of the evils). As shaky as the "stars" are, the judges are starting to sound too scripted and are being way too nice (even for the first episode). Bruno is a cartoon of himself, trying desperately to spit out his scripted (but supposedly spontaneous) comments, Len is looking more and more like Fred Astaire (not in a good way - and what was that blushing moment he had over Clyde Drexler?) while Carrie Ann's comments are getting as useless as Paula's on Idol, "You look really good."

Meanwhile can someone please explain to me why they have the worst singers in recorded history on this show? I know that we're not supposed to be focused on the singers but how can we not be focused on them when they sound so bad? At this point I think we'd all prefer to have someone just DJ the show. I love the idea of the band and they're great but the singers are one notch above the famous Kathy Lee on the vintage game show, Name That Tune where she would sing a song but, "la, la, la" its title. I say bring in a DJ, maybe it'll seem edgier to have someone spinning instead of listening to bad karaoke singers kill our favorite songs.

And then there are the hosts of the show. While Tom Bergeron is his usual lovable self, Samantha Harris continues to sound like she just came from a vocal coach that is teaching her how to make her voice lower. Harris sounds like she's rehearsed every line at least a dozen times in front of a mirror, trying to make her voice sound lower and richer yet for some reason she still trips all over herself in whatever she tries to say. We haven't seen it yet this season but I loved watching Tom Bergeron watch her last season when she would biff a line or just do her whole, "listen to my round, deep tones" voice. Bergeron does not have a poker face and you can tell he's like, "Geez, how did I get stuck with this chic? She sucks." Watch him people, trust me, I'm sure there will be plenty of these moments again this season.

Finally, I just have to say that if you want me to invest two hours a week (either on the same night or a dance night and then a results show) you have to give me something that is enjoyable to watch or at least pretty. We need more than the sequins on the gowns to sparkle here and more importantly we have to know who the hell the supposed stars are or what they've done.

Although I have no connections with the psychic world, I'm going to go ahead and make one prediction. Fake leg or not, I think America can't wait to vote off Heather Mills who was mean to our beloved Paul McCartney. I get it, she's famous for being with someone famous and has a fake leg but I don't think America is going to let her continue to drag that leg around the floor for long.

I'll continue to watch and to hope that the so-called "stars" get better but with Maksim's haircut making him look fat (and is he putting on weight or is it just part of the choreography to pull your vest down?) the new kid, Brian Fortuna who managed to get on my nerves within the first five seconds and the new inexperienced blonde bimbo they put with Apolo even some of the pros are a bit shaky. Thank God we still have Cheryl, Tony and Edyta! Dancing With Duds - the new season of Dancing With The Stars - Don't Get Me Started!

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