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Facebook Is Bringing Everyone I Got Rid Of Back Into My Life

Updated on August 20, 2008

I wouldn't say that I had the worst high school years of anyone in the universe but let's just say "it was the best of times, it was the worst of times." Every single day of my high school life I was called a "fag" at least once if not multiple times in the day. I would always make pretend that the comment wasn't for me (this is how I learned to be such a good actor). I would hear the comment and then I would look around as if the person who spewed the hate must have been talking to someone behind me. I'm sure it looked a lot like when my cat discovers he has a tail and starts chasing it. I would first do the subtle look behind me and then the complete turnaround if the situation warranted it. Under the pressure of my LA gays, I joined "the book" or Facebook as it were and since joining apparently everyone from my high school years is on "the book" because Facebook is bringing everyone I thought I got rid of back into my life - Don't Get Me Started!

It amazes me how much we all cling to a simpler time in our lives. Although my high school years were lived trying to be popular yet failing miserably, I have to say that I don't look at them just as awful times. And although I came out of it with a few friends that I still have in my life today most everyone I knew in high school were strictly "acquaintances" and nothing more. I don't care that they filled an entire page of my yearbook talking about how I was "2 Good 2 B 4 Gotten" the few times I've looked back at my yearbooks I get enormously frustrated that these people didn't sign their last names because although they claim we had "some wild times at the lake" I'm afraid I don't remember the wild times nor them. Yet by the time I finished my profile on Facebook the old high school chums seem to have smelled me out like sharks do with blood in the water. I was amazed.

With some of the "friend" requests, I felt a bit nostalgic and thought, "Wow, that's so nice that they wanted to say hello" but there were plenty that made me just say, "What the f?" As with most things in my life I went directly to my two gay pals from high school, or as I like to call us, "The Three Muskequeers" (but in our case, we're named after colognes, I'm Paco and the other two are Vetiver and Aramis) after all, they had been the ones who told me I simply "had" to get on "the book." I really wanted to ask them about this one person in particular as I knew that if this bitch from high school had found me that she had most certainly found them. You know the type, she was always a bitch in high school yet seemed as though everyone was her friend but mostly people tolerated her because her family had money, threw great parties and honestly, they thought their mock friendship would stop her talking about them. It didn't. And so every time I log on to Facebook I see her "friend" request in my inbox unanswered by me and I just can't bring myself to "accept" it. Well, Vetiver said that this bitch had been in his inbox for three months and not only that, there were about another 100 other people sitting in the same box waiting to be opened like a gift you get that you don't want. Aramis on the other hand said that he even deleted the messages from such folk and just moved on about his day. But how could I with all my Jewish guilt a(nd still trying to gain popularity still even though my high school days are twenty-five years behind me) going to allow the bitch to sit in my inbox? The answer is easy (though I must say that it got easier when the LA Gays told me how they responded to such requests).

Don't get me wrong, I think that the whole Facebook thing is really cool. I like that old pals want to say hello, I don't want the pressure of constantly emailing with them or seeing the dreaded, "tell me everything you've been doing for the past twenty-five years" email but I'll add them as part of my "entourage" and it's kind of nice to have people who knew you when know you somewhat now. On the other hand, I don't want to hear all their problems, trials and tribulations either. My suggestion is that Facebook have "friends" and "acquaintances" and the "acquaintances" should only be allowed to say, "Hi, remember me? Hope your life is going great!" While your real "friends" can pick up the God Damned phone and ask you how you're doing for real, yes there is friendship that exists outside "the book" people.

So while it's great to reconnect, I guess people just need to be clear about what return they expect on their investment when sending a friend request. Do they just want to say, "hey" or do they expect you to go to their children's birthday parties now? All I know is what they can expect from me and for most, they can expect me to accept their request and do one to three emails back and forth because I have enough with the people who are actually in my life for real and not just "book" people. I like to think of my life like a great nightclub, in order for me to let anyone in, someone has to leave! I'm at capacity and Facebook is bringing everyone I thought I got rid of back into my life - Don't Get Me Started!

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    • profile image

      The Great Unwashed 7 years ago

      I lasted about two months before I shut my Facebook down. Old girlfriends I hoped had moved to Finland were bugging me. Guys I barely knew were trying to sell me their "ShamWow" du jour. If it's my page why is there more shit from other people than there is from me? It reminds me of what some comedian said. You don't have to go home but you can't stay here!

    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 9 years ago from Las Vegas

      WOW Chef Jeff...I guess we all have some scars that Mederma doesn't seem to lessen as the years go by. Thanks for sharing.

    • Chef Jeff profile image

      Chef Jeff 9 years ago from Universe, Milky Way, Outer Arm, Sol, Earth, Western Hemisphere, North America, Illinois, Chicago.

      For different reasons I hated my high school days.  There were some teachers who were great, and a few friends I still have today, but the majority of the people I knew then will remain out of my life until I breathe my last, and hopefully long after that as well.

      High school is a huge waste of time for most people because it comes at a time when learning is not what most of us want to do.  I have found that for every one thing I learned in high school, I have learned 100 things after, when I was ready to put my brain into gear and actually make something of myself.

      I was no jock and I was no social animal.  I was mostly alone and played my guitar. I thought that by music I could survive, and in a sense I did, but even there a lot of the guys were always making fun of me and trashing my talents, even when they had no obvious talents of their own.

      I swear that if I had the chance to go back and give them some crap I would, but I know that will neve happen.  All those clever comebacks I have thought of since were not in my repertoire at the time.

      To show you the kind of crap many of us put up with, a guy I knew named Jimmy had a hump on his back.  it was obvious he was hurt by having that condition, and yet he was smart and witty. Still, the football players just had to chant at him "Full back, Half back, Quarter back Hunch back!"  And the coach laughed as if it were so clever of them! 

      They also put in the suggestion that he play the lead in The Hunchback of Notre Dame, which they said would be a great school play to perform.  Can you believe they garnered support from other students who merely wanted to go along with these guys?

      I guess I would say my high school experience was actually more sad and pitiful than anything else.  And some of these brainless morons went on to careers where they traded that stupid football talent for good jobs! 

      "Yeah, coach said I could break bones better than anyone he coached since '59."

      "Oh, that makes you the perfect candidate for bank president!  Here's you $100,000 job, a new car and life-time employment!"