ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

First Date Don'ts: Leaving Children, Exie and ME at Home

Updated on June 2, 2008

How very fun! He viewed your profile; you read his over carefully and responded to his introductory message. You have a lot of shared interests; you noted several differences but no deal breakers. He looks cute in his picture. He is graying at the temples and has nice laugh lines around his eyes. Of course you pause for a moment to consider how unfair it is that graying hair and wrinkles are attractive on a man... Oh well! You exchange e-mails; the more you write to him the more appealing he becomes. He has a nice, witty writing style. You discover that he is all the more fun when you finally exchange telephone numbers. He seems to like you in return. So you schedule the first meeting. It is in your favorite local hot spot. He is there when you arrive and you quickly make introductions, order a glass of wine and hors d'oeuvres, and settle down for a nice chat. He truly is even more pleasant in person than you had dreamed was possible. You become nervous and wonder what to talk about. Whereas I can not advise you on what to talk about, I can give hints on what not to talk about. The men I interviewed unanimously agreed on the top three second date killers! These topics include:

Genius Children

I know every mother's child is a genius; my children certainly score at the genius level on every test written to measure such an attribute. They are pretty and charming and gifted, as well. Your children are, too. Every mother knows that every other woman on the planet is jealous of her children. Get the point? We all love our children and we think they are rather special. Your date, however, might have a different opinion. Hopefully he will like your children when he meets them. For now, however, your date wants to enjoy a lively exchange with you without your children. A sufficient amount of child information is, "I have three children, one daughter and two sons. My daughter has graduated from the university both of my sons are still attending the university." If your date asks for more information then briefly answer his questions and do not hide behind your children. Let your own light shine. It is probably a very nice light.


Most of us do have an Exie by the time we reach our forties and there is a time and a place for Exie contemplation but he does not belong on a date with McDreamy! Whereas we do need to be honest about our pasts, we do not need to vent our rage on a date. In fact, if you still feel rage and have a deep need to talk about Exie, maybe now is not the time to date. Let the wounds heal until you can date without bringing Exie along. This is a time to get to know that nice man you have been conversing with via e-mails and the long phone conversations. Let yourself enjoy the evening. Let Exie fend for himself! Ask yourself if you want him to drag you along on his dates. Hmm? Do you?

Me! I want to talk about me!

Yes, your date will want to know more about you. On the other hand, don't you want to know something about him? Make it your practice to ask him more questions about his interests, his thoughts and his opinions than he asks about you. Our tendency is to have a favorite topic: ME! When we get into the ME rut, however, our talk too often turns into a boastful litany of our own gifts, beauty, brains, education etc. Honestly! If we really are these things then they will slowly reveal themselves and McDreamy can't help but notice. Relax. Let your nice qualities slowly show themselves as you are concentrating on getting to know his nice qualities. The more you notice him, the more he will notice you.

I do hope you enjoy your first date. Relax. Have fun and leave the children, Exie, and ME behind. You are the one he wants to meet.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Mary Stuart profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago from Washington

      Absolutely! How can you know what you want in the furure on your first date? Enjoy the moment. That certainly increases the odds of another moment to be enjoyed!

    • profile image


      10 years ago

      In addition: let the objective of your date be to have a good time and not more than that. If there's more to come, more will come. But don't let the future-that-may-or-may-not-come overshadow a pleasant evening.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)