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Gays, Don’t Let’s Ask For The Moon. We Have The Stars

Updated on November 5, 2008

Now Voyager

"Jerry, don't let's ask for the moon. We have the stars."
"Jerry, don't let's ask for the moon. We have the stars."

Just like every other American I watched the election results come in and as I was watching us move forward with great hope by electing Barack Obama I was watching on my laptop to see that gays would be barred from marriage in Arizona, California and Florida and barred from adopting children in Arkansas. It was odd seeing so many of the "ballot measures" in this election having to do with us gays. Of course I was saddened for my friends who had just recently been married in California but as I re-watched President Elect Obama's speech and heard us gays included in his remarks I couldn't help but think of that dialogue spoken by Bette Davis at the end of the movie Now Voyager, Gays, "Don't let's ask for the moon. We have the stars." - Don't Get Me Started!

Now before my gay caballeros go off on me, let me explain. We all know that the real issue here is over the word, "marriage" - as my brother eloquently explained to me on the phone last week (and I'm sure I won't do it justice as he's much smarter than me (or is it I?) and used much bigger words) "marriage" is a religious term and it's not the "marriage" that the government recognizes but the marriage contract. Basically, we're back to the real argument that I've written about forever which is that it's not about the actual union for most it's about that pesky little word, "marriage." And for my money (no, I'm not speaking for all gays) if the whole civil union thing would give us gay couples all the rights of our heterosexual counterparts then I'd be at the courthouse tomorrow. But what people don't realize is that the whole civil union thing does not afford us most of the rights afforded our straight counterparts. (Watch my Vblog about the word "marriage" here - )

Let's face it we as a nation are faced with many challenges today. And most of us have precious little patience when it comes to getting all of those challenges fixed. We want to pop our economic and social problems into a big microwave and have it come out hot in sixty seconds. What we need to realize is that (much like people who cook in microwave ovens know) it always tastes better when you take the time and effort and let it cook in the oven. No matter how many chemicals you put in it, there's no substitute for a real home cooked meal. It takes time, knowledge and love. And for us gays, we're going to have to learn the meaning of the word "patience." (At least we have a theme song all ready thanks to the movie musical score of Dreamgirls, right?)

Look, I want to have all the rights that anyone else has but look how long it's taken America to continually chip away at the whole racism issue (which by the way is far from over even though many think, "problem solved" just because there's going to be a black man in the White House).

Maybe I'm just a cockeyed optimist (See the musical "South Pacific" for reference information) but I believe in my lifetime we'll see our rights given to us. We just need to continue to chip away at all the hate and ignorance without becoming hateful and ignorant ourselves. I think about gay men throughout history who had to hide their entire lives (and the ones who are living in fear still today, doing much the same thing) and then I think about me being able to tell my parents and the world that I was in love with another man (a six foot black man, at that) and that we've been able to build an honest and loving life together for the past twenty years. He's away on business but we were on the phone last night watching Obama's acceptance speech together, both of us full of emotion as we listened to the television broadcast through each other's phone in an odd kind of stereo. My guy moved by the fact that in his lifetime he saw himself not being allowed to drink out of the same water fountains as white people and was now seeing a black man win the presidency and me getting caught up in the moment that we finally had a true statesman in the White House who would use his intelligence to break down walls of fear and hate not just in America but across the globe.

Am I sad about the ballot measures that lost, absolutely. But it hasn't diminished my hope or my sense of recognition for what we have achieved with this election. So I ask my gay compatriots to stop for a moment and be thankful for what we did get last night. Gays, let's don't ask for the moon. We have the stars. - Don't Get Me Started!

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    • vitaeb profile image

      vitaeb 9 years ago from Shenandoah Valley, Virginia

      This is a wonderful hub, honest and hopeful. Not being gay myself, I nevertheless have ache in my heart for the injustices gays have had to endure. I'm with you, brother. Let's continue to chip away. I believe California's Prop 8 will wind up in the Supreme Court. I hope so. I appreciate your urging us not to devolve into hate and anger toward those who fear and react as if they had morality on their side. The New Age we saw dawning in the '60s is swinging back, taking its rightful place in the 21st century. I beleive you are correct, Scott: In your lifetime.