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General Pace and Mario Vasquez DO Ask and DO Tell

Updated on March 14, 2007

Top General, Peter Pace, Becomes A Bottom For The Press - Don't Get Me Started!

Okay, I love how everyone is all up in arms (get it?) that the top US Military Officer, General Peter Pace (and if that name doesn't sound like a gay porn star I don't know what does) said that he thinks homosexual acts are immoral. Whooo, really big surprise there, I better call my cardiologist for some nitroglycerin for under my tongue at the shock of these comments. Immediately lawmakers (who love how the gays throw fundraisers and give them money) and a (that's right, only one) gay rights organization wanted an apology but the general was standing his ground on this battlefield when all of a sudden, late in the day he makes the statement that he should not have focused on his personal views in the interview and just stated that he supported the "don't ask, don't tell" policy. Come on, I thought military guys are supposed to be tough. The top general, Peter Pace, becomes a bottom for the press - Don't Get Me Started!

So why I ask you would all of this be coming to a (pardon the expression) head in the media on this particular day? Um...could it be to get our minds off of the fact that George Bush's token Hispanic, Alberto Gonzales' cover was (again, you'll pardon the expression) blown about systematically firing US attorneys that didn't go along with the white house agenda? Another case of the white house thinking everyone has A.D.D. like they do. Now I'll admit that we gays like shiny things but it won't always make us look the other way, even when you parade a guy in uniform with shiny medals on his chest in front of us.

As far as Peter Pace goes, did you see the picture of him with George W. at the National Prayer Breakfast in February 2007? Did you even know there was such a thing because I didn't know anything like it existed? Just another great example of the separation of church and state, George W! But back to the matter at hand, right? I have to say that I'm surprised anyone is surprised that the top military brass finds homosexual acts immoral. And to Peter Pace's defense, he also called out adulterers too. So, when you consider that most of the world finds it impossible not to commit adultery (and since we gays can't marry we can never technically be adulterers), I guess we're finally being lumped in with a group that is considered pretty normal.

As I've said before, I would much rather know who hates me and who doesn't. Not to mention the whole thing about supposedly having free speech in this country. Some of us gays aren't dumb enough to think that because he wears a uniform he speaks for everyone in the military or that a lot of the supposed "straightees" who are in Iraq right now wouldn't want to trade places with a gay (or anyone for that matter) just to get the hell out of there. The people we should really feel sorry for are General Pace's family. Because as we all know, there's a gay in every family. You usually don't have to use a gay detector to find one somewhere in your family's past or present. Not to mention the fact that this guy must be a real hoot in bed, right?

On another front that has me saying, "Don't ask, don't tell" me is ex-Idol sort of finalist Mario Vasquez (he quit the competition in 2005 stating he had family issues that prevented him from staying in the competition). Well apparently he really left the show because he pulled (himself) out in front of an accountant at Fox studios trying to do the accountant George Michael style in the bathroom. Oh Mario, don't you know you have to be famous first for something like this to work? And did you really need to go stall hopping? Come on Mario, you're more attractive than that, you should be able to find sex like the other gays out on the street or Craigslist. How long do we think it will be before he shows up at rehab for a sex addiction to try and get out of the pending lawsuit? And weren't you surprised it was Mario and not Ryan?

I don't find what Mario did so much immoral as just stupid. I mean, he was on Idol and had he waited he could have had every gay and supposed straight man in a bathroom or anywhere else. Or maybe bathroom sex falls under the "don't ask, don't tell" policy? I don't know we'll have to ask General Pace because he's the top general. The top general, Peter Pace, becomes a bottom for the press - Don't Get Me Started!

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