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Girls Behind Bars – sexy celebs in the slammer...

Updated on May 8, 2007

I see a little jail bird...

Oh no! But jail makes you ugly!

Paris is the latest lady to be sentenced to jail time, but she is certainly not the first. Living life in the fast lane and constantly being surrounded by fantasy, glitz, and glamor can make even the most level headed young woman start to think she might be a little above the law. Prior to her last brush with the law I imagine Paris probably thought the police were mostly there to look good in their tight fitting uniforms. Now she knows that they not only look good, but sometimes they even make you do things you don't want to do, like get out of your car just when you were having so much dangerous and drunken fun, or go and see a mean judge who thinks that you should probably know whether or not you're breaking the law. It's totally unfair says Paris, and aw, how the tiny violins are playing.

Paris is not alone though, she has some foxy lady friends who have walked the path before her, such as Michelle Rodriguez who stars in the hit tv series “Lost.” Michelle isn't afraid of jail, she isn't afraid of anything, in fact she went out of her way to choose jail the first time she was convicted of driving whilst drunk. Apparently the alternative of 240 hours of community service was just too horrible to bear.

Unfortunately Michelle is just such a darned slow learner that she got caught doing the same thing again and got sentenced to 60 days in jail. Of course, some of this slow learning may be due to the fact that she was sent home after serving a whole two hours of her sentence. Why, that's barely enough time to strip down and have a good delousing.

No article on ladies in jail would be complete without mentioning Martha Stewart however. Possibly the sexiest of all the three ladies, Martha served five months in jail for insider trading. This is of course all very interesting when you compare it with the other two cases. Do something that could possibly kill and maim people, and you get a handful of days in the big house. Make a little extra money by defrauding the stock market and they really nail you.

Poor Martha was forced to spend almost half a year desperately trying to figure out how to make vertical iron structures more pretty, and wondering how much yarn it would take to make a cover for the razor wire surrounding her compound, but I seriously doubt that Paris will ever have to don a baggy jumpsuit and check her doggy at the gate.

Moral of the story: If you're going to be caught for anything, make sure it's for something nice and potentially lethal. We can respect that. Just don't mess around with the money okay? We can always make more people, but do you have any idea how long it takes to make millions?


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