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How To Get Rid Of The Halloween Candy

Updated on November 3, 2008

Never mind for a moment just how incredibly bitter I am that I had not one (that's right kids, not one kid, pre-teen, teen or adult) come to my door last night to trick or treat me. However, whether you had one or one thousand kids last night most likely you've found yourself in the same position that I'm in. Stuck with a ton of candy and fighting your inner demons all at the same time. If you're Jewish or Catholic (raised on guilt), survived a potato famine or were ever told that there was a kid somewhere around the globe in a country you couldn't find on a map who was starving and would only survive if you ate your Le Sueur Peas then right about now you're staring at that bowl of candy and there are beads of sweat starting to appear on your upper lip as your do your best to resist. Allow me to help, how to get rid of the Halloween Candy - Don't Get Me Started!

I too am forced to be staring into a very large bowl with every type of candy I've ever wanted to eat and yet at all other times in the year manage to avoid. I bought the mother lode of a bag of candy. It has Reece's Peanut Butter Cups, Kit Kats, Hershey Bars, Whoppers and in case all that wasn't enough I also bought a bag filled with small bags of M&Ms. ARGHHHHH! Stupidity, thy name is Scott. So far today I've managed to avoid the chocolate devil but every so often it does sound as if they're singing show tunes to me that sound remarkably like "Food" from Oliver!

And so I sat, I sat and thought a lot about what to do with this candy. And if you're me, you're always looking at an angle to make people like you and so it finally came to me. Give it away. I know, right now you're thinking to yourself, "Wow, amazing advice Scott. Way to go...NOT!" But the piece you're missing is how to make it so fabulous that people won't be able to resist the candy or you. It's not about the candy, it's not about giving it away now that you're in November, it's all about style. Which now brings you back to me, Scott...that's right, the Scott that Some Like It - time to go to your main Jewish gay.

As of today, what is on sale at almost every store in the store universe? That's right, Halloween merchandise. This is the start of your strategy. Go to the store (it could be Wal-Mart or Hallmark or even Macy's) buy some gift bags. Halloween gift bags. That's right covered in pumpkins or if you can't find those just go for plain black and add some orange tissue paper. Bring these items home and insert candy. Voila, you now have a perfect after-Halloween Halloween treat bag. But now that you've created the perfect Halloween after-Halloween bag, what do you do with it?

You pawn it off on someone who can't tell you they find it tacky or refuse it. In short your team at Starbucks. That's right. You see those baristas have to smile, nod and screw up your difficult coffee drink but what they can't do is refuse you showing up like Bree from Desperate Housewives or the Welcome Wagon with a bag filled with candy and done up for them. And guess what? Even if they hate it and don't want it themselves, they have something you don't have in your own home...a counter that is passed by millions everyday (unless you're a prostitute who works at home or Rachel Ray) where they can place it and get rid of it. Now true, I haven't taken it to my Starbucks gang yet but should they refuse there's always the dry cleaners, the bank or a dozen other places that would allow you to rid yourself of the candy that was created by Satan.

Right about now you're wondering why I don't have my own show like Martha Stewart or at the very least a column in a local paper. I'm wondering the same thing too. The important thing to remember is that when the rest of the world and the people in your world are trying to bother you with such things as who to vote for in an election or keeping your home from foreclosure, I'll always be here helping you with the things that really matter. Like how to get rid of the Halloween candy - Don't Get Me Started!

Read More Scott @

Update: Took the candy in this morning...I am officially a ROCK STAR at my Starbucks! It works!


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    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 9 years ago from Las Vegas

      Jim10, thanks for the sound advice. I think next year I'm going to Palm Springs, which is where I was invited for the past two years but haven't gone. This way I don't have deal with it at all. Scott

    • jim10 profile image

      jim10 9 years ago from ma

      It can be tricky getting rid of unwanted candy. But, your candy selection is pretty impressive. It isn't like you were giving out pretzels or mints. I think anyone would like a gift bag full of Reese Cups or Kit Kats. Your lights were on right. Did you have any Halloween decorations to help entice the kids to show up at your door. We got a lot of kids in our neighborhood. My boys and I carved a pumpkin to help us lure in the children. Another overlooked possibility is if the people around you gave out bad candy last year. Then the kids might not be willing to travel to get your candy. It can be tough figuring out how much candy to buy. My wife thought 3 bags was good until we emptied it into a a bowl for handing out. She then realized I better head to the store and get more. I wish you better luck next year.

    • Stacie Naczelnik profile image

      Stacie Naczelnik 9 years ago from Seattle

      He's actually been hinting at wanting a dart board, and seemed pretty envious when he saw my cousin's.

    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 9 years ago from Las Vegas

      jbcat, yes the work solution usually works however I now work in an office with only five staff in the office at any one time so it might still be near me...nope, needs to be "re-gifted"

      Stacie, you must break the cycle...maybe tell your husband that the SF will bring a better treat? Trust me, even at my age dart boards are still a pretty cool gift!

    • Stacie Naczelnik profile image

      Stacie Naczelnik 9 years ago from Seattle

      My aunt has always used the sugar fairy trick on her kids. They get to pick out some of their favorite pieces of Trick or Treat candy from the bag, and the rest is left out for the Sugar Fairy. The SF takes the candy, but leaves another kind of treat instead. This year only my youngest cousin still believes (or was coerced into believing because my aunt refuses to believe they are growing up), so his bag of candy was swapped out by the SF for a pretty cool dart board in the middle of the night. But when my aunt needed to get rid of the bag of candy, who did she give it to? My husband, which means it is at my house!

    • jbcat profile image

      jbcat 9 years ago from Santa Fe

      I can tell you how everybody does it here in Texas they just birng all tha candy they do not want wo work and its gone in a flash.