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How to Get Your Ex Back in 17 Days

Updated on August 27, 2008

How to Get Your Ex Back

Are you wondering how to get your ex back? No matter how bad your break-up was, winning an ex back is always possible. Professional relationship advisors know this - and that's why they're able to get almost any couple back together. Such counsellors use a number of advanced techniques that can help win a lover back no matter why the break-up occurred - and here you will discover the single most powerful of them all, the "No Contact" technique.

"No Contact" is the single best answer to the question of how to get your ex back. It is a highly effective technique that relies on the power of reverse psychology to bring your ex back without much effort from your side. Put simply, if you are capable of not calling your ex for two weeks, then you've got what it takes to successfully use the "No Contact" technique to win her back.

"No Contact" works as follows - it begins with severing all communication with your ex. During this time, you will be able to begin the process of emotional healing after the break-up while forcing your ex to spend more and more time thinking of you. In the end, you will have completely recovered and maybe even moved on - while your ex will be desperate to hear from you, and will often make the first move.

During the two weeks of "No Contact", it is essential that you maintain silence from your end to the letter. Never call your ex or otherwise arrange to get in touch with her (for instance, "accidentally" running into her at a place you know she frequents). Don't send random SMSs, postcards, flowers or anything else. And don't answer her phone calls, either. In short, pretend she doesn't exist, pure and simple. I know first-hand how difficult this sounds, but you have to remember that to get your ex back, you first need to show her that you can live without her and - and you will do so unless she makes the first move.

In my article on how to get your ex back, I always emphasize the importance of bouncing back after a break-up. It is crucial that you move on with your life - even if your ex is all you can think about. The reason for that is your ex's opinion of you - she would never want to get back together with a desperate, emotionally unstable man who can't get over a break-up. That's why you need to do everything in your power to pull yourself back together and rebuild your life.

There are many ways to do this. From experience, reconnecting with old friends is a surefire way to do it, if only because friendships are generally the first thing people neglect when they get into a serious relationship. But in addition to your social life, make sure you also focus on the more tangible things. For example, hit the gym and take pride as you watch your muscles grow, or focus on your career and start cranking to get that next promotion. Another great thing to do is to upgrade your wardrobe. Now that you're single, you're probably spending a lot less money (women are expensive!) - so why not spend some of it on making yourself look even better? This also has the added advantage that if you ever bump into your ex on the street, she will be genuinely shocked to discover how much you've changed for the better now that she's gone from your life.

If all else fails, indulge some of your guilty pleasures. For example, when my ex broke up with me, I discovered that it gave me a great opportunity to start playing World of Warcraft again - a great game that I never had time to focus on because of spending too much time with my ex. I also used some of my savings to upgrade my PC and have a blast playing games such as Crysis on maxed-out video settings. Of course, none of these things are productive - but remember that sometimes the easiest way to get over a break-up is to give yourself something to focus on and enjoy.

By now, you should have a good idea of what your actions during "No Contact" should be - and if you follow this guide to the letter, after two weeks, you will generally be a lot more emotionally content than before. But what about your ex? As my article on how to get your ex back demonstrates, while you'll be having the time of your life, she will be living in a minor nightmare of her own making.

You see, women are funny creatures. Even if they dumped you, they still expect you to keep asking them to change their minds. Of course, they will never do that - definitely not while you're still running after them - but it provides them with that comfortable, warm and fuzzy feeling of being wanted and needed - and quite desperately at that. If you're tempted to beg your ex for another try, remember this - even as she enjoys watching a man obsess over her (as any woman would), she will lose more and more respect for you as your behaviour continues.

"No Contact", however, turns the tables quite a bit and sends her a clear message that, for whatever reason, you're just no longer interested. And if there's one thing women hate, it's feeling that there's a man out there not interested in them. Even if they don't care about him, they still expect unconditional adoration and respect from men - and, very often, when they don't get it, they will go to absurd lengths to secure it.

So as you continue to maintain silence, she will gradually realize that this very adoration she expects - especially from an ex - just isn't there. This, in turn, will make her wonder what happened. Did you meet someone else and forget all about her - an intolerable thought for any woman? Did she just mean that little to you to begin with that you were able to move on in a matter of weeks?

But worse still, as time goes by and she doesn't hear from you, she will gradually start to forget all the bad things that had led to the break-up. This is normal - if you have a history with someone and then don't see them for years, you tend to remember the good things and, more often than not, gradually start to ignore the bad. So as time goes by, to your ex, you will look more and more like a man she had had such a great time with, rather than someone she ended up dumping for XYZ reason.

Finally, "No Contact" will accomplish one last thing - it will give her a taste of what life without you will be like. So long as you're still there, begging her for another try, she will take your continued presence for granted. For example, she will assume that she can still call you at any time and ask you for a favor - and that you will drop everything and do it, hoping to improve your standing in her eyes. But as weeks go past and she doesn't hear from you, she will gradually realize that you're not there for her anymore. Now she will finally discover what living without you will be like - and eventually, she will come to miss you!

At this stage, you will have set all the pieces on the board for winning her back. You will have turned the tables in such a way that she will be the desperate one - while you will be out there, having fun and feigning total lack of interest. All that now remains is for you to make the first move - and if you play your cards right, your ex will come back in as little as 17 days.

To discover how to reconnect with your ex, click here to visit my article where I explain some additional techniques on how to get your ex back.


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      Amanda 3 years ago

      After being in relationship with Harry for Five years, he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. but one day I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in love spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email: you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything. CAN NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU SIR HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS: CONTACT HIM NOW FOR SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS.

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      Vgro 3 years ago

      Does this work on men aswell??

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      Tony 4 years ago

      Got her back thanks to this tutorial largely, in particular, the reasons motivating me to stop contacting her. Those truly made me overcome the desperation and depression easier since I have reasons to believe things are going to work out effectively, not magically, and logically.

      To make it a better statement, this works within just 3 days. And this conflict has been the worst accumulation between us after almost half a year of tiring troubles that kept happening.

      A good experience I learned was, to show her that I can carry on with life while still being caring for her when needed is mostly important. Many critics would advise men to start having fun for short while he is single. Nevertheless this move may not bring good result in case the girl is particularly experienced with previous partners who could easily forget her and move on with tons of other females. A woman looking for her future may base on that to judge whether the man loves her truly or not.

      In addition, having time of no-contact did encourage my girl to rethink of the goodness in me, and abate the badness between us.

      She called me back almost persistently in 2 days, then finally expressed her willingness to come back after all hesitation, despite a 10-question interview afterwards with the purpose of grasping cautiously my actual faith, loyalty and commitment to positive changes

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      Jonny 7 years ago

      You've created a great hub here! It contains some great advice, similar to what I found on this website which really helped me as well