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How to have a successful arguement

Updated on May 6, 2008

How can anyone have a successful argument? Isnt fighting or any contention in a relationship a bad thing? Well, like it or not, these situations are going to pop up; its understanding how to handle those moments that will help you gain a closer relationship to the other party and a great way for you to gain a large amount of trust. Whether you like it or not, contention will come.

In any argument, someone wants to be right and when you are being accused of something that makes you look guilty or wrong, it is certainly easy to jump to the defense. From this point weaknesses of the other party are usually attacked in order to make you look and feel a little better about the original accusation. Unfortunately, this is where things can blow up. So what is the trick to having a successful argument that doesnt end up in divorce, ended contracts, or grudges that never go away?

The solution lies in a few different steps. The first thing that you can do is learn to listen. Often times when a contentious situation arises, it is a simple misunderstanding. If you can learn to listen and ask calm and logical questions you can discover the underlying problem, which may be easily explained. As you listen, let them explain themselves without interrupting to defend yourself. There will be plenty of time for you to offer your side of the story.

Another key to having a successful argument is to never raise your voice. As you raise your voice it can be intimidating which might come across as anger. When anger is involved in any situation, rational thinking can go out the door and things which are really not meant to be said can be said which just fuels the fire.

Learn to compromise. If you are trying to get your way, how will this benefit the other party? Like it or not, the question whats in it for me goes through all of our minds. Call it human nature or whatever youd like, we all can be a little selfish this way. Through careful communication and a fair compromise you will find a solution which will make both parties happy.

Having an argument doesnt mean that you have a horrible relationship, but simply means that you dont see eye to eye on all topics. It is completely natural to have disagreements, but it is what you do with those situations which define your relationship. Be thoughtful, listen, stay calm, and learn to compromise in your arguments and you will find that you are more pleased with the outcomes of your disagreements.


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