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I Admit It, I’m The Difficult-Hold-The-Line-Up Starbucks Guy

Updated on May 28, 2008

It didn't start out this way. In the beginning I was the soy latte guy. Simple, easy, right? But as new drinks came into being and I discovered things like the positive mood altering effects of a Peppermint Mocha, I caved in and became that guy. But then as the weight started coming on from all that sugar and the prices going up and up, I turned to my friendly barista to find a new drink. Something tasty and cost effective (after all, I'm still a Jew). But now, it's gotten ugly, I admit it, I'm the difficult-hold-the-line-up Starbucks guy - Don't Get Me Started!

She was a sweet and delightful barista who was from Seattle, the home of the first Starbucks so who better to listen to when she said she had a drink that she liked that she thought that I would like, right? After all, she is the expert and she drank it so even if I didn't like it, I knew that I was dealing with a professional drink maker and drinker. The drink was that you take three honey packets and squeeze them into what those in the industry (and pains in the ass like me would grow to learn) into a "short cup" - for those of you who do not know, let me educate you. It's the smallest little cardboard cup you can get in the Starbucks world. After the honey is in the "short cup" you pour three shots on top of it and stir until the honey has been dissolved. Then the fun begins, take a Grande iced cup, fill it with ice and dump the concoction over the ice, top it off with a little soy and voila - you have the honey, espresso delight!

Through the years that I've been drinking this drink, my original barista moved back to Seattle and for a long while I just decided it wasn't worth having to describe the entire process to a new barista. Yes, the magic had gone and with it my honey espresso drink.

Then I started going to a new Starbucks near my new job and I figured what the hey, I missed having the naturally sweetened treat so I waited until a day when there weren't a lot of people in line and I explained the drink. As the baristas looked at me as if I had asked for something unheard of, they obeyed and slowly I began to teach the baristas how to make the drink. Then something so special happened it can only be described as well, a gift from God. Yvette (an adorable Asian gal with the cutest hair in the planet) said to me, "Scott, do you want the fourth shot?" I didn't know that they make the shots in doubles so they end up just throwing the fourth shot away. Next she really got crazy, putting the honey not into a "short cup" but in one of their shakers, adding the four shots to the three honeys, shaking it with the ice and soy and putting the whole beverage in a Venti cup. Well, I don't feel the least bit embarrassed to say that I love this woman.

The good news is that now they start making "the drink" as soon as I walk in and it hardly takes any extra time at all but get a new barista and everyone suffers. That happened last week and I don't mind telling you that I felt like a real asshole as I talked the new barista through the making of the drink. Now should you want to try this drink there is something that you need to be aware of (besides the fact that they are addicting like most Starbucks beverages) if the barista tries to short cut this by not actually stirring to melt the honey and then ice it, you get hard chunks of honey through your green straw and it's not good at all. On the whole I think that I'm someone who really follows the rules, tries to not affect others in a negative way but I admit it, I'm the difficult-hold-the-line-up Starbucks guy - Don't Get Me Started!

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    • Chef Jeff profile image

      Chef Jeff 9 years ago from Universe, Milky Way, Outer Arm, Sol, Earth, Western Hemisphere, North America, Illinois, Chicago.

      Starbucks? Starbucks? WE don't need no stinking Starbucks! Oh, wait a minute, yeah, uh, we do. Sorry 'bout that.

      So, you are the guy I need to blame, eh? OK - consider yourself blamed! But I admit that whenI go for coffee with my wifie dear, it's pretty much the same. I order in less than 10 seconds and get served my coffee in less than 30 seconds.

      SHE, on the other hand, hems and haws, changes her mind umpteen times, and then goes back, cuts into line to complain about something.

      Life - the other white meat!

    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 9 years ago from Las Vegas

      And as if my life isn't a musical enough...I got stuck behind two people who ordered 16 frappuccinos! What rhymes with frappuccino? "And another hundred people just got in Starbucks and are ordering crap..." (Company)

    • Isabella Snow profile image

      Isabella Snow 9 years ago

      I want to see you sing this!! Starbucks, the musical! ;)