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If Today Is Your Birthday Change It!

Updated on November 14, 2008

I can't stand the portion of horoscopes in newspapers that do the whole, "If today is your birthday." It gets on my nerves frankly. And while I'll admit that I think there is the possibility that people who are born around the same time in the year share some attributes it doesn't mean you can sum someone up with three sentences and (in my case) a picture of a scorpion next to it. I write this because today IS my birthday and do you know who else's birthday? Charles Manson. If today is your birthday, change it! - Don't Get Me Started!

Who knows, maybe if old Charlie Manson and I sat down we'd find out that we have a lot in common. Maybe he can't eat just a few thin mint Girl Scout cookies without going through the whole sleeve too. Or maybe he loses his patience with people who drift so slowly into a left hand turn lane (taking up two lanes in the process) that he wants to kill them. Oops, better not bring up the "M" word to Charlie and besides, when was the last time he was out driving? If he's a true Scorpio he would lose his patience and I don't think that would be a good thing for Charlie or me.

My birthday was spoiled at an early age. You see, my Mother treated our birthdays as if they were national holidays. There was never NOT a party. And the party always had matching paper tablecloth, plates, napkins and party hats. The biggie we all remember among my family (perhaps because there are so many pictures of it) is a monster themed one and I remember that the hats had the monsters head and the part that sat on your forehead was the teeth of the monster. Stunning. And as my brother and I grew older the "events" became more overproduced. For my brother's thirtieth birthday we surprised him in Las Vegas. He had driven over from San Diego in a mobile home he and his friends had rented and there we sat in the lobby of his hotel waiting to surprise him. Oh it wasn't just my parents. No it was me, my grandmother and two of my aunts (on my father's side). As he walked into the hotel (red in the face from most likely drinking their way over from San Diego to Las Vegas) he was more than a bit stunned to find us all there. It's difficult to follow an act like my mother when it comes to birthdays.

Let's take a minute and talk about surprises on my birthday. My Mother has tried to throw roughly five or six surprise birthday parties for me throughout the years - none of which I managed to attend. The first one was in high school. A girl friend of mine had taken me to the Arizona State Fair to get me out of the house. My Mother assembled all of my friends and even had my friend's band play. The girl I was with decided that we were having too good of a time at the fair and so she didn't bring me home at the appropriate time. (Resist the "staying too long at the fair cliché) In fact, when I finally arrived home the band had stopped playing (a couple members had to get home as it was a school night) and there were only a handful of people left. They all took pictures of themselves lying around asleep on the sofas as they waited for me to arrive home just to prove to me that they had been there when I had not. The last surprise party (that should have been no surprise to my Mother that it wouldn't work) was years ago when they lived in New Jersey and my mate and I were supposed to go down there for the weekend. Only my mate took ill with asthma and had to be hospitalized. As I called my Mother to let her know, I could hear the "surprisers" in the background. Oops. Needless to say I think I've finally gotten her to the point where she knows that no surprises are a good thing when it comes to my birthday.

The thing is that as time passes I discover that without the monster party hats, or getting the newest Lite Brite (yes, with the extra pegs so you can make Bugs Bunny) that it's okay to have a no big party birthday. It's okay to just spend some time with those you love and just having them near you is a true gift. (As sappy as that may sound...especially coming from me) That said if you were planning to get me that new Mercedes please email me immediately for the correct address so that they can deliver it to the right place. And should you discover that today is indeed your birthday too - please change it, I'm writing to have Charles Manson change his because in a world where we all tend to wear the same clothes, buy the same stuff to look like everyone else, I prefer to be Tigger. Because the wonderful thing about Tiggers is that I'm the only one! If today is your birthday, change it! - Don't Get Me Started!


As if to prove my point entirely, here's what the New York Post told me about my birthday today. Well, that all seems really personal and enlightening...NOT!

November 12, 2008

So many of your dreams and wishes can still come true but they will come true more quickly and more easily if you stop setting yourself targets that are impossible to reach. Take each new day as it comes, then let it go once it is done.

Read More Scott @



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    • Sunny River profile image

      Sunny River 8 years ago from A Place Without A Name which resides somewhere between Fantasy and Belief, just north of Reality

      Loved reading this. Very funny. And I agree. Those horoscopes are ridiculous.

      Great hub!

    • profile image

      Holly 8 years ago

      my birthdays that day to

    • sixtyorso profile image

      Clive Fagan 9 years ago from South Africa

      Happy birthday for two days ago. lovely memories and Reminiscences. Enjoyed your hub. Perhaps you should do a hub "conversations with Charles Manson"

    • RGraf profile image

      Rebecca Graf 9 years ago from Wisconsin

      Birthday's can suck when everyone puts their two cents in. My husband's family is always deteremined to have big parties every year for each member the ever growing family. When they try to throw surprise ones they end up having parties that only they would enjoy and not the guest of honor! I'd rather go to a quiet dinner with those close to me.

      Great hub!

    • Stacie Naczelnik profile image

      Stacie Naczelnik 9 years ago from Seattle

      Have a fabulous one!

    • vitaeb profile image

      vitaeb 9 years ago from Shenandoah Valley, Virginia

      Charming hub. Thanks. I love the way you put the words down. If my birthday were today, I'd change it just so we could look different to the masses. I've ordered the Mercedes for you. The factory told me that due to the economic downturn, delivery might not be until 2020, and who knows what the price tag will be. And by the way, horoscopes ought to be spelled horrorscopes.  Don't get started now!

    • Mighty Mom profile image

      Susan Reid 9 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      Sharing a birthday with Charlie Manson ... Quel nightmare!

      I will wish you a happy birthday anyway, tho. Full of no surprises and a party celebrated SLIS's way! MM