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I’m Attractive Betty or My New Job – Don’t Get Me Started!

Updated on January 14, 2008

Well kids, 2008 has begun with a real bang. That's right, after eight years at the same company, I've got a new job at a new company and today was my first day. (Yes, this most likely means that there will not be posts every day but I'll post as often as I can so check back every day because I need your loyalty support and clicks for God sakes!) Oy, you forget how the first day at a new job is when you haven't done it in so long - it feels just like the first day of grade school or worse high school (read my blog about why you shouldn't wear a green satin Oz jacket on your first day of high school here ). The thing is that I'm sure that my new job will be amazing but after doing what I've always done (and always getting what I always got - stress, unhappiness and prescriptions for Xanax and Ambien CR) I'm used to running training for seventeen locations and now I'm tackling creating a brand new office for a company that has it's eye so far on the future that I won't be able to see it unless I wear my glasses for distance (or until the smoke clears after the first week or so). In short (which I am), I'm "Attractive Betty" or my new job - Don't Get Me Started!

That's right, although it would be indiscreet to mention too many particulars, I am the office manager/assistant to the stars (okay, well executives) at an office and because you're my dedicated pals, I CAN share with you my typical anxieties and faux pas that can only happen to yours truly.

I went in last week to get my cell phone and fill out some paperwork. As I told the guy in charge of IT (Information Technology), "Oh I'm a bi-techtual! I can figure this phone out, no problem." If I tell you that it's the AT&T Tilt phone - their answer to the Iphone. It's basically a laptop the size of a box of antihistamines (which is so attractive when you hold it up to your face). Not only could I not get the farchachta thing to work, it has a touch screen that every time I touched took me to the web or something else that was anything but what I needed - a damn phone! So as I'm going in this morning, it makes this strange noise. When I get to the office, much to my horror, the phone is off and I can't get it to turn back on. Great, here they've given me my first piece of company equipment (minds out of the gutter at the word, "equipment") and I've destroyed it or worse, don't know how to use the damn thing. I was only semi-relieved when the IT guy couldn't turn it on either and determined it was a defective phone. Whew!

Next, they put me on a computer as my laptop has not arrived as of yet I was using someone else's at the office. I decided I was going to knock out some forms in Microsoft Word and Excel. I've got this whole thing covered, right? Wrong. They use Office 2007 and my old company (as well as every computer I own) has Office 2003 on it. A little different you say? It may as well have been written in a different language. I felt like when I call somewhere for something and push the button for Spanish when all I can understand is English (and a little Hebrew) and don't even get me started on the whole "press one for Spanish" thing. Comprende? No.

I'm sure it won't be long before I have the whole thing dialed in and am making the world (or at least this company) a better place. (He said using the age old positive affirmation philosophy) You want to be one of the "cool kids." You want to be so efficient that you make heads spin. But today my head was spinning and I may as well have had the infamous "Ugly Betty" pancho on. It was all self-imposed of course and God, it's amazing how every insecurity you have about yourself can instantaneously come to a head (you know, like a zit when you have a big date or are going to get your driver's license photo taken). But hey, it's just day one, right? (Stay tuned as I will no doubt have a Jane Fonda from the movie Nine To Five copier incident by later this week!) I'm "Attractive Betty" or my new job - Don't Get Me Started!

Read More Scott @


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    • Isabella Snow profile image

      Isabella Snow 10 years ago

      Bitechtual! LOL! Poor you.. it'll get better!

    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 10 years ago from Las Vegas

      Thanks for the support kids!

    • Stacie Naczelnik profile image

      Stacie Naczelnik 10 years ago from Seattle

      Remember that "Ugly Betty" has captured the hearts of America. Times change, jobs change, computer programs change...but you'll do great.

    • Guru-C profile image

      Cory Zacharia 10 years ago

      Congratulations on your new job, Scott. Mom must be kvelling!!!!!