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Iowa Allows Gay Marriage - For Ten Minutes?

Updated on August 31, 2007

Iowa Allows Gay Marriage (For At Least Ten Minutes) - Don't Get Me Started!

"Well, did you evah?" (and that's not a typo - years ago I was choreographing an Ethel Merman review and one of the songs was "Well Did You Evah?" by Cole Porter and the first day of rehearsal, the director was going through all the songs and that's what he said after he said the title of this song, "and that's not a typo!" I don't know if he really thought he was educating the cast or just liked saying it.) In any case, did you evah think we'd be looking at Iowa as one of our more progressive states? Iowa allows gay marriage (for at least ten minutes) - Don't Get Me Started!

All ready there's been stuff filed and probably next week we'll see the opposition play hardball asking the courts to decide what the judge said, what it means and how they can get us stuffed back into our gay closets (like one of those fake snakes from the old can of peanuts gag your friends used to give you, I think it's going to be harder than they realize). But regardless of what eventually happens, let's all take a moment to just be happy for those couples that got married today. All ready much like the first baby born each year, the media has focused in on two undergrad students from Iowa State University who were married this morning in front of their home. The two met on facebook about a year ago and now voila, they're married. I read some of the comments online from the local paper and there was everything from Iowan's patting themselves on the back for being one of the ten states that have given these rights to the person who wrote a long drawn out comment mocking it all by saying that they met their dog a year ago on facebook and want to know why they can't marry their dog.

As those of you who read the blog on a regular basis know, I don't know how I feel about the whole marriage thing. I know that we should be able to have the same rights as other couples and I guess there's no way to get around it but to put the word "marriage" to it but for those of us who feel like Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, that marriage is a piece of paper not needed by us, I have to say that I want the rights but not necessarily the rice. I mean come on, I celebrated nineteen years with the same man yesterday and just because no one ever gave me a gravy boat does that make it less of a union? I know, I know, in the eyes of the law...but let's face it, making it a law isn't going to give it validity or make it acceptable in the eyes of many. You can't legislate feelings, try as we might and I'm glad for that one. Now don't get me wrong, as I said, we deserve equal rights and all the benefits that go with it, on that I want to be really clear but I decided long ago to work on my own acceptance of myself and that's more important to me at this point in my life than whether or not Bravo will be doing more episodes of "Gay Weddings."

I can feel all ready that some will think that I am a traitor or that my gay card needs to be revoked for not all ready having my appointment to get fitted for matching tuxes or moving to one of the ten states that allow gay marriages but remember that marriage is a personal choice that some straight people make and some don't and now some gays will hopefully be able to have that same choice in Iowa and beyond. Wanting and having the choice is a good thing but please, for everyone's sake, let's understand that this is right for some and not for others. A little respect goes a long way.

One of the great things about "the gays" is that we always wanted to be recognized for who we are and to fall or rise on our own merit. Well now we are but let's try not to screw this up kids by giving the right-wing and media any fodder by showing up in wedding dresses for men and the typical, no-nonsense matching suits for lesbians. Let's just thank our lucky stars that we've seen so much progress in our lifetime and today, let's just be really happy for Tim and Sean who got married this morning. Iowa allows gay marriage (for at least ten minutes) - Don't Get Me Started!

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Update: As I was finishing this blog looking for the names of the two students who got married in Iowa this morning I came across "breaking news" that Judge Robert Hanson issued a stay on the ruling he made yesterday ruling the ban on gay marriage was unconstitutional. No more licenses will be given to gays until there's more investigation and another ruling. Did I say ten minutes?


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