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Is it okay to flirt with your ex?

Updated on January 15, 2009

 So we all have ex-boyfriends or girlfriends...some people have had both.  (no judgement on that) i have a couple of ex-boyfriends i still talk to from time to time but more i hope all the bad things in life happen to them!A few of my ex's have tried to flirt with me and honestly i find it disrespectful. I would give them two strikes and give them the option to change subjects or don't talk to me anymore. America, i have one question: Is it okay to flirt with your ex?

 Many people have different definitions of the word flirt. But in my opinion, if you seem a little aroused about it, you're flirting. There's nothing wrong with saying hello to your ex or even being civil to them if you're out. i think that flirting leads to one thing, CHEATING. It is a way to find out the what ifs about you and that person. You are exploring your options, or as they say looking for bigger fish! If you don't agree, than tell me when was the last time you got into a relationship or got on a date with someone without any conversation or showing interest in them by complimenting them?! A compliment goes a long way. It enhances people ego and boosts their self-esteem. When you do that, in a sexy or charming manner, you are showing interest in them. But back to the topic! If you flirt with an ex it simply means you still have feelings for them, you aren't over how it ended or you're not happy with the person you're with so you want your ex back. It's disrespectful and rude to send your ex nasty pics or talk dirty when you're with someone else. If you're doing that, than you need to tell whoever you are with that you need some time to get over your ex. Trust me i learned the hard way and have flirted with some of my ex's til it finally hit me that i still wanted them. We are all human though! So i thought I'd share a few tips i gathered from my experiences and observations. Hope they are helpful!


Here's how to tell if your spouse have feelings for an ex:

  • if you mention anything bad about their ex and they defend him/her
  • if your spouse don't defend you when their ex makes a comment or insult that they say is a "joke"
  • if your spouse is on the phone a lot with someone having a conversation in "code" (pretending to be talking to another "friend" but it would seem homosexual if they were)
  • if your spouse still talks about all the good times they had with their ex
  • if your spouse seems to tell you about every little fight they had with their ex
  • if your spouse and their ex hang out more than usual for long hours and when they come back they're in a different mood towards you
  • if your spouse don't feel comfortable or upset to see their ex at a public place while you are with them or their ex is with someone else
  • if your spouse gets jealous when they hear about their ex being happy with someone else
  • if your spouse mentions their ex's name a lot
  • if your spouse feels the need to tell their ex about every issue they have with you and how they never had so many issues with their ex
  • if your spouse is hesitate about being happy in a relationship with you (holding back, putting up a wall, not acknowledging you)
  • if your spouse refuses to have anything to do with things, places, or people that reminds them of their ex
  • if your spouse calls a night out with an ex just a small get together (as if they don't want you to know they're going to be alone with their ex for a couple of hours at a romantic place)
  • if your spouse wants you to do things like their ex used to
  • if your spouse say they are just friends but when their ex comes around your spouse act like you're not there, they're embarrassed about you, or they make sure they look their best
  • if your spouse competes with their ex's new spouse
  • if your spouse spend a lot of time on their ex's myspace or harasses them

Now i admit there are other reasons people do these things so before you jump to conclusions, ask a few questions or look for more signs. Don't be naïve or stupid about the situation. Use your head and do the right thing!



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      6 years ago

      I wish I read this before I started dating my ex. He was flirting with his ex while we were together!!!! Reading this would've saved me A lot of tears:/

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      7 years ago

      have been with the fiancé for almost 7 yrs and have 2 wonderful kids whom i adore. I find out 3 weeks ago she is talking online with an ex. She mentions him a lot and is always txting via tagged. she had blocked her phone with pin codes and her pc. Enough to make me worry a bit. She ignores me a lot of late prefering to play on her phone. I accessed her messages a bad thing i know and found she has been flirting with him. Talking about being in hot tub and other things. I am over reacting her or should i be concerned. The ex is married unhappily and in sydney we are in brisbane only an hr by flight. Also noticed on her web browser she had been looking up flights to sydney. Just have no idea what to do i love her and my boys so much and fear losing them all if say something or if i don't.

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      7 years ago

      Sweet hub! Thanks for creating this page, I've not found many hubs provide such helpful advice on this subject like yours does. Consider it bookmarked! You might like to check this other site out, I bookmarked the other day, again also a very good site:


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