ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Is your relationship headed for trouble?

Updated on June 13, 2008
Why does it have to be this way?
Why does it have to be this way?

Four Early Signs a Relationship is Heading for Trouble

Could you be headed for a breakup?

There are those marriages and relationships in which partners are constantly arguing. Then there are those couples that seem to have an "agreement", they hardly fight publicly but seem to have settled into their separate identities. Did you know that the couples that argue often and loudly are NOT more likely to be heading for divorce more than the couples that take an emotionally distant approach? Although, of course either route is mutually taxing and extremely unhealthy.

Studies have shown that there are some strong signs that a marriage might be on the verge of destruction. They can be separated into four categories according to Researchers. The signs are meant to be indicators that things have gone from bad to worse, but hopefully with awareness and early intervention, the situation can be turned around. If caught in time and worked through, the damage could be minimal and a renewed hope of intimacy can begin.

The first sign things are heading in the wrong direction is CRITICISM. Couples are not perfect, individually or together, but to be constantly criticized and attacked for seemingly simple things, can wear down the spirit. The husband or the wife can begin to lose trust in each other. Trying to constantly find fault in each other is the first red flag things are deteriorating.

The second sign is the feeling that your partner can actually have CONTEMPT for you. It's not simply, "I can't believe you just did that" type of comment, but how it's said. Is it demeaning? Does it border on being psychologically abusive? If the feelings projected are that of hate or disgust., then there are some deeper underlying issues. It's never o.k. to be spoken to in a condescending or insulting manner.

The third sign is DEFENSIVENESS. It's normal to become defensive when you feel you're being victimized, but when it becomes an automatic reaction to everything your partner says, it can lead to an end in communication. Becoming defensive can be a cry for help, a need to show your spouse this has become too much for you to handle. Partners have to take responsibility for their behavior, and realize when they are going over the line. When they do, and begin to take control of their actions, progress can be made.

Finally, STONEWALLING is the fourth sign that your relationship may be headed for the final stage of being over. When either party in a relationship decides to "shut down", the other party has been stripped of the choice to discuss things as two adults with mutual respect . Most of the time it is usually men who hold back their emotions and stop communicating. Although, women can also stop talking. Surprisingly, men will feel things on a physical level. Their pulse rate will rise along with their blood pressure. Men or sometimes, women who reach this level, begin to take a "take flight" attitude whenever confrontation sets in. This type of damage is very difficult to overcome and only becomes worse through time.

The first step in mending communication and trust, is knowing when it's happening and taking quick action. You started out with a deep love for one another, and with knowledge, healing can begin.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)